Ape’s Firing: A Dramatization
In honor of our colleague Christmas Ape, who was released from his day job yesterday for outing himself here on this blog, we present a special Kill Kill Kill video that fully illustrates the Washington Post termination process.
As you can see, the Ivy League trained leopard isn’t content to just kill the poor primate. It must also drag him around in the dirt, in front of fellow Ivies, insulting his dignity in the process. I’m assuming the leopards then went on to play squash after this. Guardians of democracy, my left nut!
Tags: injustices, kill kill kill, someone alert Dana Priest god dammit
April 17th, 2008 at 11:03 am
I was waiting for the point where the cat said “Fuck This Noise- I’m hungry.” and swallowed the baby baboon whole
April 17th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I’m not dead. Ere, he says he’s not dead. Yes he is. I’m not. He isn’t. Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill. I’m getting better. No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment. Well, I can’t take him like that. It’s against regulations. I don’t want to go on the cart. Oh, don’t be such a baby. I can’t take him. I feel fine. Oh, do me a favor. I can’t. Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won’t be long. I promised I’d be at the Robinsons’. They’ve lost nine today. Well, when’s your next round? Thursday. I think I’ll go for a walk.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:27 am
@ Chris-Bess Mervin
Take it easy there Herschel.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:28 am
I wonder what the meeting where the soulless executives made the decision was like…
April 17th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Playing squash after a murder is bad form for Ivy Leaguers. Protocol clearly calls for a round of drinks at the University Club followed by no more than 9 holes of golf.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am
At least we are going to take care of his baby…
April 17th, 2008 at 11:34 am
You may remember Ape from such Washington Post articles as “Fire Closes Popular Chicken Eatery” and “Soapbox Racing Queen Brimming With Can-Do Spirit”….
Congrats[??] Ape.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:38 am
I like to imagine Jean Grey carrying Ape around in her mouth.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Dammit. I watched that whole thing waiting on the leopard to bite that little motherfucker in half and nuthin’.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Wait, wait, this is the organization that pays Robin Givhans?
April 17th, 2008 at 11:48 am
The mind boggles.
If Disney made a movie where a leopard eats a baboon and then raises the baboon baby, I’d call bullshit. But there it is…right on the National Geographic Channel. I stand corrected.
/waits for Ape at unemployment office
April 17th, 2008 at 11:54 am
don’t worry ape
the world always needs more guest co-hosts for blog show.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I should have watched more than the first 15 seconds of the clip. Oops.
April 17th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I still don’t get it, when are yall gonna try to sell us something?
April 17th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I think this is the first video Jeremy Irons has been involved in where he didn’t bang a fifteen-year old
April 17th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Does this mean Robert Novak is now tenderly cuddling Jean Gray?
April 17th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Easily the best Kill Kill Kill video ever posted here on this URL. Granted, it’s all of three days old, but still. I say eff TWP, and demand volume two of the mock draft “Things That Piss Us Off.”
April 17th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
So MDS over at Fanhus has added this to his post:
UPDATE: Post Assistant Managing Editor for Metropolitan News Robert McCartney tells me via e-mail: “MIchael Tunison has resigned from The Washington Post. I will not have further comment, as this is an individual personnel matter.”
So did Ape resign or get fired? Is WaPo just trying to cover their dung tracks?
April 17th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
After seeing the bizzarreness (probably not spelled right, fuck it though) of that video, I wanna know what happened to the fucking baboon. Was it raised as a leopard, training to hunt and kill fellow baboons, then one day learn the truth of the death of its real mother and swear a vendetta against the leopard that raised it? I feel this is important to know.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Killer Kill Kill Kill vid….damn leopard scourge.
April 17th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
It is amazing how threatened the “mainstream” media are by blogging. They give us coverage of politicians that is the print equivalent of a rim job, but somebody on their staff writes some shit about football on the intertubes in his free time, and THAT guy gets fired. Pathetic.