Yapcunt Regional: No. 4 Steeler versus No. 5 Bill — WHO DO YOU HAVE AS MORE MACHO?
Before Pittsburgh became an outpost of urban blight on the edge of Appalachia, it was a bustling steel town that made the name Steeler synonymous with the town’s muscular, blue-collar work force (as opposed to today’s overweight unemployed force). The steelworker faces up against Buffalo Bill Cody, the Civil War vet, Western frontiersman, and pseudo-circus ringleader who inspired the name for Buffalo’s football team for no better reason than it was a decent play on words. It’s up to you to determine the winner… WHO DO YOU HAVE AS MORE MACHO?
#4 STEELER
Strengths
- Burly
- Square jaw can withstand punching
- Able to consume massive amounts of shitty beer
- Has hot stuff; coming through
- Might have a pipe or wrench or something, I don’t know
Weaknesses
- Evolving global economy
- Techno music
- MEN!
#5 Buffalo Bill
Strengths
- Handy with a six-shooter
- Killed 4,280 bison in six 18 months. Fuck you, PETA!
- Background as cavalry scout lends to stealth
- Full name of Wild West show was “Buffalo Bill’s Wild West and Congress of Rough Riders of the World,” which isn’t a strength per se, but c’mon. That’s pretty fucking sexy.
- Only NFL mascot to be awarded the Medal of Honor
Weaknesses
- Indian-killing reputation marred by employing Sitting Bull
- Played Custer during reenactment of Battle of Little Big Horn
- Facial hair ridiculous even by 19th century standards
- Totally sold out, man
Vote on the sidebar to the right. Poll closes at the end of the day.
(All Buffalo Bill facts from Wikipedia)
Tags: Be thankful I cropped that Buffalo Bill photo, captain caveman, The KSK Real NFL Mascot Kill Kill Kill Invitational Tou
March 21st, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Oh wait, was she a great big fat person?
March 21st, 2008 at 2:08 pm
rumor has it Wild Bill frequently wore a t-shirt that read “moustache and beard rides, 5 cents”
March 21st, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Bill:
–Also has a vengeful Uma Thurman in pursuit of him.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:10 pm
gotta love Gay steel mills.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:11 pm
@slideshow, are there any other kind?
March 21st, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Buffalo Bill is also my great-great grandfather. So I’ve been on KSK. I’m also still drunk.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:22 pm
If Steerel rose, Hines Wald no smirre.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:22 pm
CC, it was 4,280 beasts in eighteen months, not six.
Still pretty damn impressive considering that 8 a day, every single day, for a year and a half.
Kill, kill, kill
March 21st, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I have Steely McBeam in this one.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:26 pm
God rest the souls of that poor family… and pussy’s half price for the next 15 minutes.
God I miss that show.
March 21st, 2008 at 2:53 pm
gotta love the Drake!
March 21st, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Buffalo Bill . . . giving a demonstration of the tuck rule.
(Worse than last week’s disease photos)
March 21st, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I hate the Drake!
March 21st, 2008 at 3:32 pm
It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!
It does this whenever it’s told.
/Drake-WKU = amazing game
March 21st, 2008 at 3:45 pm
/Drake-WKU = amazing game
Hells yes. Especially since I picked WKU as my upset making it to the Sweet Sixteen.
Coupled with Davidson, this almost makes up for the gang-rape the SEC teams gave me yesterday. Almost.
March 21st, 2008 at 3:47 pm
even more amazing, just walking out of the office for an hour to go across the street, grab a couple beers, and watch the end to Davidson/gonzaga (holy shit adam morrison needs a shave and a haircut…2 bit) then Drake/WKU, God Bless March Madness
March 21st, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Oh wait, was she a great big fat person?
All the excuse I need to post the Lotion video again.
March 21st, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Buffalo Bill loves Drake pastries.
March 21st, 2008 at 3:58 pm
I love a blog where both Princess Bride and Silence of the Lambs get quoted in the same day.
March 21st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
@ smurphette
and it’s considered par for the course
March 21st, 2008 at 4:49 pm
I love a blog where both Princess Bride and Silence of the Lambs get quoted in the same day.
Andre the Giant Has a Pussy.
March 21st, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Buffalo Bill has a casino named after him on state line of NV/CA. Steelers may have shitty beer and lead pipes, but a bar full of liquor, an buffet, and all the money God doesn’t have swings me on this one.
Buffalo Bill>*
March 21st, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Barbecue, me and you! Stinky pinky, pew, pew! Or dilly, Jilly, Hilly or Bob! It was a french-fried Cajun named Delacroix!
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:08 pm
“Facial hair ridiculous even by 19th century standards”
–obvious cocksucker–not that there’s anything wrong with that!
March 22nd, 2008 at 6:16 pm
why else would that “taint tickler” be jutting out from his chin?
March 23rd, 2008 at 11:48 am
HEY WHO’S THAT HOT CHICK IN THE SECOND PICTURE???