With the NFL’s scouting combine in Indianapolis (which we’ve already established is an awesome city), there’s only so much coverage one can digest of the league’s competition committee meetings, which are transpiring at the same time. The big proposal getting the attention is one that would allow defensive players to be wired for sound, much like the quarterbacks were allowed to be this past season.
However, this is only one of the rules revisions that have been suggested for the 2008 season. There are a slew of other rules packages being considered for implementation. Some of the other suggested changes brought to the committee include:
- Changing the name of the 2-minute warning to “The Joe Gibbs Memorial Game Mismanagement Zone.”
- A ball carrier’s forward progress would be considered stopped if the defender in contact with him has had a felony arrest since 2004.
- Defensive face masks would be legal if the offending player can be heard screaming, “Fuck yo mama,” or any interpretable derivative therein.
- Quarterbacks would be allowed to ground the ball inside the tackle box if it can be determined that his uniform has a distinct stain of urine.
- Wide receivers’ pushing off to be called more scrupulously, unless said wide receiver’s first name rhymes with “Craphonzo.”
- Offensive players would be forbidden to rape within 72 hours of kickoff. For defensive players, however, it would be 36 hours.
- Referee’s signal for “Delay of game” to be changed to vigorous underhanded motion at belt-buckle level.
These are just the ones we’ve heard about. If you know of any others, please pass them along in the comments.
I want more like this!
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