Sean Salisbury’s days at ESPN have come to an end. Tonight, the world mourns….

…I’m drunk.

Hines Ward: Is gleat, gleat honol to leeturn to South Koleea for inaugulation of super fantastic head of govelment foll rife, Ree Myung-bak. Me shower you with etelnity of smirre and good foltune. Wish you many year plospelity and toterr victolee in batter against enemy. Sterrpid enemy.

Lee Myung-bak: Yes, yes, Thank you, Hines.

We must move from the age of ideology into the age of pragmatism. At times over the last 10 years, we found ourselves faltering and confused, but now, we will take with us our achievements as well as the lessons we learned from our failures and start anew. At the juncture when we are beginning another 60 years of the Republic, I hereby declare the year 2008 as the starting year for the advancement of the Republic of Korea.

Hines: Errrrrr. Why you no terr me inaugulation so bowling? If I want risten to bowling speech, I ask Tloy Perramaroo about Jesus. Rong hair equal rong speech.

We have songtime foll gleat joyous occasion!

[Singing along] Foll werr you know that it’s a ferr who prays it cerr while making his wolrd a rittle corder. NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH-NAH NAH NAH

I feer rike me in Loyal Tenebaums now!

Lee Myung-bak: That’s wonderful, Hines.

I would also like to take this moment to acknowledge our honored guest, the United States Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

Based on the deep mutual trust that exists between the two peoples, it is in our best interest to strengthen our strategic alliance with the United States. Once North Korea abandons its nuclear program and chooses the path to openness, we will provide assistance so that we can raise the per capita income of North Korea to US$3,000 within 10 years.

Hines: Rongfilstname Lice? Me thought Hines was guest of specerr honol! Such betlayar nevel befole seen!

Arways feer gleat affinity foll South Koleea. Arways rook at frag with deep plide.

Wait, rooking now at frag, understanding is come to me. The ying and yang symborize derricate barance between smirre and no smirre. Such is the barance between myserf and Secletely Lice.

Foll gleat wisdom, Plesident Myung-bak!

We’re way too cool to attend the NFL Combine/Sausage Festival, but our spies are lurking behind ever corner…and safety. The following are snippets of conversations overheard by said spies.

Peter King to Joe Flacco…
“If you want to get anywhere in this league you’ll start answering my text messages, young man.”

Roger Goodell to Zygi Wilf…
“I’d be scouting a new left tackle if I were you.”

Unknown media member…
“Sure, I appreciate Mayock’s attention to detail, but he should leave the rectal exams to the doctors.”

Michael David Smith…
“If you talk to Rob King tell him I said hi, and ask if him he got the fruit basket.”

Bob Kraft into cellphone…
“Mike Haht? Fahk that daaahkie, I just watched that Jacob Hestah smoke his ass. We don’t even need Mahs, we’ll just play the Hestah kid at wideout. He looks like he’s wicked smaht and hahd werkin. I’m tellin’ ya, if we line Welkah up opposite Hestah we can’t fackin’ lose!”

Mike Florio to a janitor…
“Can I cite you as an unnamed source?”

Unknown player…
“This is whole thing is a bit Kevin Spacey, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

We know what you’re saying, unknown player, we know.

SUPER SEXY UPDATE:

Darren McFadden into cellphone…
“Nah baby, you can’t get pregnant if you do it in the butt.”

Continuing the Kornheiser theme today, I was driving in to work today listening to his radio show when Michael Wilbon phoned in to chat on the air, as he frequently does. In the span of five minutes, Wilbon said he wasn’t a fan of Jon Stewart or “comic people who are politically edgy”, said Roger Federer “didn’t do it” for him, declared “No Country For Old Men” to be a lazy film (but not before botching its title), and said he hated all the Academy Award nominated films this year.

I’ve vaguely hinted at this before, but I think it’s time to put subtlety aside and bust open the haterade officially.

Michael Wilbon is a fucking HUGE douchebag.

Yeah, I know he’s probably the most well-liked person in the industry. That’s great. Good for him. It must be because all the other journos are in awe of his breathtaking casual arrogance. This guy is the Reggie Nelson of sportswriters. Is there nothing on Earth Wilbon cannot simply dismiss with a wave of his hand? Found “No Country” lazy, did you, Wilbon? Well, then it must be so! I thought I was watching “Meet The Spartans”, it was so half-assed! Charles Barkely hated it too, so he must be right! You know him a little bit, right Wilbon?

But hey, what do I know? I’m just a sports fan. And, as you know, if there’s anything Wilbon hates in this world, it’s the common sports fan. Do you like the NFL Draft? Well, Wilbon thinks you’re a fucking simpleton. Thought Wilbon was a little cold about Sean Taylor’s death? Well then, you’re obviously one of these braindead homers who doesn’t understand the principal tenets of journalism. You’re obviously just some Pollyanna who never likes to see his team criticized. There’s no in-between at all! Are you a blogger? Oh, then you obviously are some horrible, predatory rumormonger. You aren’t fit to play act with heads on sticks like a real reporter!

I used to think it was cute when Wilbon called everyone knuckleheads at PTI’s signoff. Except it isn’t a joke. He really DOES think you are a knucklehead, and that you, Joe Sports Fan, are nothing more a beer-swilling retard who is incapable of making decisions for yourself. I bet you liked “No Country For Old Men,” you lazy fucking sheep. Michael Wilbon can’t express his disdain for you highly enough.

Well, I’ve had enough. Wilbon’s gotten a free pass for too long. You’re going right on the douchebag list, Mikey, right between Simmons and that dude from Maroon 5. Am I surprised you’re a preening asswipe? Not in the least.

With the NFL’s scouting combine in Indianapolis (which we’ve already established is an awesome city), there’s only so much coverage one can digest of the league’s competition committee meetings, which are transpiring at the same time. The big proposal getting the attention is one that would allow defensive players to be wired for sound, much like the quarterbacks were allowed to be this past season.

However, this is only one of the rules revisions that have been suggested for the 2008 season. There are a slew of other rules packages being considered for implementation. Some of the other suggested changes brought to the committee include:

- Changing the name of the 2-minute warning to “The Joe Gibbs Memorial Game Mismanagement Zone.”

- A ball carrier’s forward progress would be considered stopped if the defender in contact with him has had a felony arrest since 2004.

- Defensive face masks would be legal if the offending player can be heard screaming, “Fuck yo mama,” or any interpretable derivative therein.

- Quarterbacks would be allowed to ground the ball inside the tackle box if it can be determined that his uniform has a distinct stain of urine.

- Wide receivers’ pushing off to be called more scrupulously, unless said wide receiver’s first name rhymes with “Craphonzo.”

- Offensive players would be forbidden to rape within 72 hours of kickoff. For defensive players, however, it would be 36 hours.

- Referee’s signal for “Delay of game” to be changed to vigorous underhanded motion at belt-buckle level.

These are just the ones we’ve heard about. If you know of any others, please pass them along in the comments.

Jets Flight Crew member Gina, like many of her teammates, is a Long Island native, from West Babylon, N.Y. She graduated from Nassau College with an associates degree in dance and also is licensed as a cosmetologist.

Gina currently works as a hairdresser and also teaches dance.

On a perfect night out, Gina would be “dancing with my loved ones” and “having fun!” She says one of her favorite hobbies is drawing and that “I love any art.”

Gina is very proud of her Italian heritage and lists “putting my shoes on the table” as one of her most unusual superstitions.

NOTE: Holy crap, that’s her ACTUAL biography.

JOE BUCK: Jim, what are you pointing at?

JIM NANTZ: Uh, I forgot.

JOE BUCK: So, that’s it. Another season in the books.

JIM NANTZ: It went by so quickly.

JOE BUCK: Good season, Jim.

JIM NANTZ: Good season, Joe.

JOE BUCK: I think we’ve earned a little R&R, don’t you agree?

JIM NANTZ: We did some gosh-darned good work this season.

JOE BUCK: So much bullcrap that we put up with, what with the travel, all the a-holes to deal with. It’s a great job, make no mistake, but people question my fortitude, call me the P-word and what not. It really…it stinks. It just stinks.

JIM NANTZ: Stinks like fresh bull mess.

JOE BUCK: But I’m done with that for a few months. Sometimes it takes me a few weeks to snap out of my broadcaster voice, you know what I mean? I have some baseball dates coming up, but those are way down the calendar.

JIM NANTZ: You’re lucky. I still have the CBS golf schedule, including the Masters. On such hallow ground, one’s language must be as pristine and as pure as his pigmentation.

JOE BUCK: Better keep that mouth of yours in game shape then.

JIM NANTZ: Indeed. But I will get a short break here. For three days, I’m not going to do…

[Trails off]

JOE BUCK: …Jim?

Oh. It’s finally happened. The Pussy Apocalypse is upon us. An army of whores have come to enslave us all.

JIM NANTZ: Oh, no.

JOE BUCK: Look at that one in the front. That little bitch is begging for it.

JIM NANTZ: Oh, heavens, no.

JOE BUCK: That little piece of Tokyo ‘tang might be on your flight, Jimbo. You might even be sitting next to her on the way back to New York. You could give her a little Seoul Finger. But, you know, like South Korea Seoul. Get it?

JIM NANTZ: [Squirming uncomfortably] I follow you, Joe.

JOE BUCK: Oh, sorry man. I didn’t mean to articulate that. That is a disgusting act. And I apologize that…that I won’t be flicking that bean myself. You know what I hear about Japanese women? That their gashes are flat. Like their economy.

JIM NANTZ: You’re not really helping.

JOE BUCK: What’s the big deal? Just say that you want to fuck her and I’ll shut up. I swear. Just say it, Jimbo. Me love you long time. But say it in a Bryant Gumbel voice.

JIM NANTZ: No.

JOE BUCK: Fine, say it in your own voice.

JIM NANTZ: I’m not going to say it.

JOE BUCK: She might have checked her bags at the terminal, but I’ll be checking her oil in the handicapped stall before boarding. And I will continue to hit that ass until the No Pounding sign has been illuminated. By the time I’m done fucking her, not only will her eyes be round, but she’ll have gained 15 pounds and have issues with her father.

JIM NANTZ: Please stop.

JOE BUCK: Come on, Jimbo, let’s get over there and gang-bang her. You can give her a Pacific Rimjob, and I’ll make her pie-hole part of the Wang Dynasty. Then you can take a break while I pummel that Pai-Gow pussy with my Kim Jong eel while I’ve got her ankles on my shoulders.

JIM NANTZ: [mumbling] It’s a position…

JOE BUCK: Say it, Jimbo. Come on, say it!

JIM NANTZ: It’s a position unlike any other.

JOE BUCK: Yes! Alright, Jimbo!

JIM NANTZ: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Flight 669 with nonstop service to Pleasuretown. We’d like to invite our Pacific club members to begin seating…on my face.

JOE BUCK: Let’s get over there. I’ve got an invitation to the House of Dong with her name on it.
[They stand up]

JIM NANTZ: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: nothing beats Saigon beaver.

JOE BUCK: True dat, Jimbo. True. Dat.

When the calendar hits April this year, it’ll have been exactly one year since Colin Cowherd, aka Schrutebag, aka Cuntrag, aka Hollow-Faced Fuckwad, ordered a Denial of Service attack on the well-meaning but astonishingly clueless folks over at The Big Lead, provoking a great deal of anger from the United Federation Of Douchebags With Sports Blogs (us included). We were mad as shit. We weren’t gonna take it anymore. And, best of all, we had one more reason to tell Colin Cowherd to spend the leftover money from his divorce settlement on a nice bag of shit to eat.

But let’s face it, we bloggy and webby folks tend to suck each other’s dicks quite a bit. We all get rather pissy at all the back-slappy folks in the MSM for always pallin’ around like a bunch of fruits, but we tend to be just as guilty of such cronyism on occasion.

Time to rectify that chumminess just a bit. Like music, or movies, or any other form of pop culture, there are a whole bunch of shitty ass sites out there, some of them downright fucking infuriating. So let’s use this draft to select a few we’d like to see fall victim to a deadly server hamster mass genocide.

That’s right. It’s Websites We’d Like To See Experience Permanent Tech Support Problems.

The order:
Drew
Ufford
Ape
Punter
Flubby
Maj

The rules:
The site you pick would be shut down forever, and its founders unable to set up shop again anywhere else on the Internet. 2 rounds.

Let’s play the feud!

Round 1, Pick 1 – Drew – Perez Hilton

There isn’t a more pathetic wannabe fuckhead anywhere else on earth. And that’s saying a LOT. And look at those Bad MS Paint skills. It’s an insult to Bad MS Painters everywhere.

Round 1, Pick 2 – Ufford – The Big Lead

“What’s to dislike most about The Big Lead? Is it the Jackie Harvey cluelessness? The ironic attempt at credibility while staying anonymous? His admission that he puts less effort than he used to into writing posts so that he can churn out more of them and increase his traffic? Nah, I’m gonna go with the final ‘question’ from his interview with Chuck Klosterman: ‘Tell us something interesting’. That site is an insult to people who think.”

But Ufford, TBL isn’t a person. He’s actually a computer program named Rhonda that is programmed to watch all the shows Simmons and Norm Chad like!

Round 1, Pick 3 – Ape – Late Night Shots

“The clearinghouse of vapid hook-up gossip and medium-grade racism from the most privileged dipshit WASPs that Drew didn’t go to school with.”

Actually, I probably did go to school with them.

Round 1, Pick 4 – Punter – Wonkette

Punter: This is exactly why the founding fathers never let women vote.

Ape: Well, Wonkette is run by gay dudes now.

Little known fact: gay men contain 85% more snark.

Round 1, Pick 5 – Flubby – Randy Constan aka Peter Pan’s homepage

“Not a hate crime, this guy just gives me the heebie-jeebies”

A Christian Evangelical who dresses like Peter Pan? You don’t say!

Round 1, Pick 6 – Maj – MySpace

“Because I fucking hate teenagers and their worship of assclowns like Dane Cook and Tila Tequila.”

Don’t forget Dashboard Confessional!

Round 2, Pick 7 – Maj – MichelleMalkin.com

“Sure, I could select a corporate entity like Fox News, but Malkin really might be the devil.”

Maj didn’t like “In Defense Of Internment”? Well, I think he’s being a bit biased now, isn’t he?

Round 2, Pick 8 – flubby – NASCAR Role Play

“This site looks like it died on its own, but I’m not willing to risk that some may have survived… the nuclear option is in order”

Yes, but Diecast Dude would still be around.

Round 2, Pick 9 – Punter – Walk Off Walk

“Worst fucking site in existence. Although I could just wait for Iracane and CTC to fuck this up on their own. But like flub said, why risk the wait. (Relax Iracane, it’s a plug in hate’s clothing.)”

Iracane emailed us about this site with this message:

Iracane: Say what you will about our sport of choice, but we eventually seek to prove that baseball is smarter, funnier, and sexier than your crude game of football.”

Ape: In one snappy URL, you’ve refuted your whole argument.

Iracane: We were going to name the website “Meaningless Four Hour Orioles-Devil
Rays Game in September” but the URL was unavailable.

Ape: Those games are meaningless regardless of month.

Round 2, Pick 10 – Ape – Ain’t It Cool News

“Responsible! for! exhausting! the! world’s! supply! of! exclamation! marks! within! the! next! five! years!”

Indeed. Steal of the draft. Never read a movie review on Ain’t It Cool? You can write one yourself. Just follow this simple format:

1. Open with 1,000 word childhood story
2. Profess love of type of movie genre (“I LOVE musicals. Always had a soft spot in my heart for them!”)
3. 2,500 word story about how you got to the theater
4. Talk about the one time you traded emails with JJ Abrams
5. Profess complete adoration of film you were flown out to

And don’t forget those wonderful Talkbackers: “YOU SHUT UP! Hayao Miyazaki IS A FUCKING GOD!!!!”

Round 2, Pick 11 – Ufford – Pro Football Talk

“Sure, it’s essential to a lot of football fans, but Florio’s a dick.”

But then how will I know which agents a potential draft pick might be considering?

Round 2, Pick 12 – Drew – ESPN

Forcing them outta business would get all the lazy sports fans onto newer, better sites. Plus, you can read a fucking wire report on any sports site. I don’t think anyone will pine for the stylings of Gene Wojochowski once that site is wiped off the face of the Earth.

Honorable mention here to shock sites like Tubgirl, 2girls1cup, and Lemon Party. “Oh, I’m so funny I made you click on Tubgirl!” Congrats, 289 and Lt. Winslow, you’re both douchebags.

I’m sure we forgot some. Please enlighten us in the comments. Try and pick just one site, then allow ten other choices to be made before you pick another. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find my own rules this time.

I could’ve been hitting the campaign trail months ago. Wes Welker would’ve been stumping for me. I wouldn’t have lost a single white vote. Even better, unlike that fogey McCain, I’m actually in favor of spying on folks.

Okay, okay, looks like Mexico Juan got the jump on me in ballin’ outside the vows of marriage, but, hey, I didn’t deny it. That’s accountability, people.

And as you saw from the Super Bowl, I’m in favor of pulling out before the job is done in Iraq. Provided we’re still losing, of course. Sounds like the surge is going okay though, so we might stick around for a bit.

You know what the Supreme Court could use more of? Old white linebackers. I think Chris Spielman is worth a look, don’t you? His originalist views on the Constitution really appeal to me, as does his white skin. Coach him up, Scalia!

So, in closing, vote for me or Robert Kraft will sell the country to the Russians. Fuck you, and God bless mumblemumblemumblemumblemumble

(cue “Hey Jude” by The Beatles)

Tony: What song is this? Is this Jim Croce? Wait, I know this…

(gets to “na na na” part)

Tony: Oh, it’s “Hey Jude”! Of course it is. It must be Paul McCartney’s birthday today. The Beatles, of course, (clears throat) were founded in Liverpool, a town I have never been to and will never go to for as long as I live.

(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)

Tony: The Beatles, as you know, were VERY, VERY popular here in the United States, what with Beatlemania and all. (clears throat) Then they went to India and started meditating (clears throat) and then everything just went right to hell.

(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)

Tony: Wilbon, were you a Beatlemaniac?

(cue Wilbon on the phone)

Wilbon: Was I a Beatlemaniac? No, no I was not a Beatlemaniac. Beatlemaniacs were little girls who went and screamed their heads off outside the airport when the band landed. I had no interest in any of that junk. Not for me.

Tony: Where are you right now, Wilbon?

Wilbon: Where am I? I am in Maui for a golf tournament. You knew that, Tony.

Tony: So you haven’t been here (clears throat) to digest this whole drawn-out search for Jim Zorn, the new Redskins coach? Ol’ Zorny?! HOW CAN YOU MISS OL’ ZORNY?!

(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)

Wilbon: No, I was not around for that. I was far, far away from that, and happily so. I’m just so glad I was in Maui playing golf during this whole silliness, Tony. You know me. I am an IN-SEASON guy. None of the hot stove silliness. I don’t CARE about who’s coaching the team, even if my readers do. I’m not here to serve them. I just want to see the players play and the coaches coach. I don’t care how they got there. I don’t want to know what their back story is. I don’t want to know any sort of human element behind the competition. That’s just a bunch of JUNK for all the crazed goons who listen to talk radio and all that nonsense. Anyone who’s interested in the machinations of their team is just a fool and not fit to read a newspaper. I would like to treat them with complete and utter disdain, because I am an important person who talks about important issues, which in turn makes me more important than normal people.

Tony: Okay, well screw all that anyway. (clears throat) The important thing is, DID YOU WATCH IDOL?! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS DAVID ARCHULETA KID?!

Wilbon: No, I have certainly NOT. I’m not into Idol, Tony. You know that. It’s nothing but a bunch of junk and foolishness. I don’t care for this whole reality TV business, with people making asses of themselves on TV. It’s ridiculous, and I am so far above it all, I can hear the prayers of all the small children of the world when they go to bed at night. By the way, I look forward to us wearing cop uniforms on PTI later today.

Tony: Me too. Thank you, Wilbon!

Wilbon: Thanks, Tony.

Tony: Michael Wilbon, boys and girls. Golfing in Maui. (clears throat) I’d like to golf in Maui. But I can’t go! I CANNOT go. I can NOT go to Maui. Ever.

(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)

Tony: Eugene Robinson, political columnist for the Post is with us now (clears throat) to talk about the election. Eugene, rough night for Hillary, huh?

Eugene: It certainly was, Tony. And you know what I found fascinating was that the exit polling data showed a growing number of…

Tony: Yeah, yeah, screw all that. The important thing is: DID YOU WATCH IDOL?!

Eugene: Well, no. I’m a political reporter, and had to work during the course of the evening. But I did get a chance to see David Archuleta, and he was…

Tony: He was great! He was GREAT! I mean, (clears throat) he is by no means Barry White, but I thought (clears throat) he was just FABULOUS!

Eugene: But other than that, I had to watch the election returns.

Tony: Wonderful. Thank you, Eugene.

Eugene: Talk to you later, Tony.

Tony: Yeah, I’m liking this season of Idol.

WaPo-Appointed Studio Lapdog For Tony: It’s not bad.

Tony: They’re not a bad group, right? Of course, (clears throat) it’s easy to top last year’s Idol, (clears throat) which was just a TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE season. It was just a bunch of DOPES. Probably all back working at Chuck E. Cheeses by now.

(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)

Tony: I’m sorry, but it’s true. I’M CYNICAL! I’M SARCASTIC! Who do we have on the phone next. Is it you, Junior?

John Feinstein: Hey, Tony. Hey, do you know if I left a pair of brown suede gloves at your house the other night?

Tony: Hmm. I don’t recall seeing them.

John Feinstein: I think I left them on the table in entranceway. They were very simple brown suede gloves. Did you see them?

Tony: Oh, I think I may have! How do you want (clears throat) to arrange for picking them up?

John Feinstein: Well, if you could simply leave them by the door, somewhat off to the side, perhaps obscured by a bush, that would be fabulous. Oh, and did your wife get the cassoulet recipe from my wife?

Tony: I believe she did.

John Feinstein: Great, great. Did you still need help moving that desk at your house?

Tony: Well, let me explain what happened with the desk. I, (clears throat) as you know, CANNOT fix anything.

(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)

Tony: Can’t fix anything at all. Anyway, (clears throat) we have this lovely desk that my wife found at a consignment shop. Very gorgeous, hand-crafted. Anyway, we had to move it (clears throat) so that the contractors could install the toilet. So anyway…

(cut to 90 minutes later)

Tony: …so the desk can’t be moved. Are we still on the air? You know, (clears throat) I completely forgot we were talking to some sort of audience. Anything else you want to add, Junior?

John Feinstein: Buy my new book, “Living on the Black”. I know Coach K. George Bush is a prick. I have several extremely liberal viewpoints. Army-Navy is an unmatched tradition in sports. Random golf anecdote. I wish Georgetown would play in my charity basketball tourney, but John Thompson is a dick. Bob Knight is an asshole. We need to get rid of guns in this country. Did you know I write books for children too? I think Gary Williams is exasperated about something.

Tony: Okay, thank you, Junior!

John Feinstein: I really wish you’d stop calling me that. It’s fucking annoying.

Tony: Joe Barber joins us now with movie reviews. Joe, are you gearing up for Oscar season?

Joe Barber: I am indeed!

Tony: DID YOU WATCH IDOL?!

Joe Barber: No, but this is a very good time to revisit some of the films up for Best Picture at the Oscars.

Tony: Who’s the host this year? Is it that Jon Hewitt?

Joe Barber: Jon Stewart, host of “The Daily Show”

Tony: Okay, well (clears throat) I saw him once. He’s a DOPE. Just horribly, horribly unfunny. Terrible comedian.

(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)

Joe Barber: Okay.

Tony: So, tell me about some of these movies.

Joe Barber: Well, there’s “No Country For Old Men”, which is from the Coen Brothers.

Tony: Okay now, who are they?

Joe Barber: They’re very prominent directors.

Tony: Well, tell me about this movie.

Joe Barber: Okay. Well, Josh Brolin plays a sort of ne’r do well who finds this bag of money out in the middle of nowhere in Texas, and then (proceeds to give away entire plot and ending of film).

Tony: Now, should I go see this movie?

Joe Barber: Probably not, now that you know everything that happens.

Tony: I see. Is this the movie with the guy with the haircut? I have not seen it and I’m quite sure (clears throat) I would hate it and that it is a terrible, terrible movie. And I’m sure these Cogan Brothers (clears throat) are just a couple of DOPES.

Joe Barber: Actually, it’s quite a good film. Have you watched a movie within the past four decades?

Tony: Thank you, Joe!

Joe Barber: Thank you, Tony.

Tony: Joe Barber, boys and girls. I received a very nice letter in the mail from Janice Thompson of Frederick, Maryland today. (clears throat) It’s a very nice, very lovely card. And she sent me a very nice box of glazed apricots, which was also very nice. (clears throat) So thank you, Janice. I will eat them while I look at my new desk, which CANNOT be moved.

(everyone in the studio laughs for no reason)

Tony: I’m Tony Kornheiser, and this is 3WT Radio.

(clears throat)