We won’t beat around the bush, we’re crazy about you, Matt Walsh. After all, what’s sexier than power? And right now we think you have the power to run Belicheat out of the league in shame and dishonor. And that’s sexy, baby.

Come to Rogg’s office and sing like the magnificent canary that, deep down, you know you are. Tell him how Bill made you tape the Rams in New Orleans and how he cackled like a maniac when you forked over the discs. Tell him where he touched you while you reviewed the Rams futile preparations over braunschweiger and warm malt liquor. Tell him how he just laughed when begged him to stop. You can do it, big guy. We believe you… and we believe IN you. <3 <3 <3