KSK Mock Drafts: Who Would You Do
Today we’re proud to re-introduce you to our own special version of the much ballyhooed mock-draft season. In the weeks leading up to the NFL draft you will be besieged by meaningless predictions as to how things will play out in April. Some will come from reputable experts who might actually provide a hint of useful information while most will come from biased pricks with bad haircuts. We here at KSK would never imagine forcing such needless analysis on our beloved readers, so instead we offer our own variety of the mock draft every Friday leading up to the big day.
The topic of this off-season’s first mock draft is as deep as it is star-laden. The key terms here aren’t Upside Potential or Length, instead we focus on attributes like Fuckability and…uh, Fuckability. So now without further ado, we present the KSK Mock Draft: Who Would You Do, the movie character edition!
The rules are simple, draft a character from a movie, once the movie has been picked it is off limits and once an actress has been picked all of her other roles are off limits. Additionally, the character or actress must have been over the age of 18 at the time the movie was released 
No porn allowed, and remember, you’re sleeping with the character (think one night only) and not the actress.
We drafted in the traditional serpentine fashion with the draft order as follows… Maj, Ufford, Flubby, Punter, Drew, and Ape (Drew would have gone last but he cried like a little girl separated from her mommy.
1. (UM) Nancy Callahan - Sin City
I’ll get things started with a character played by the most beautiful woman alive. She’s an innocent dancer with a heart of gold in a cruel and unforgiving world, and I’d like nothing more than to bang the shit out of her.
2. (Flub) Lacey Underall - Caddyshack
That’s a quality pick right there, I was foolish to hope she’d last longer.
3. (Uff) Rollergirl - Boogie Nights
Ufford: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck it kills me not to take Scarlett.
The draft’s first shocker!
4. (MMP) Linda Barrett - Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Ufford calls the pick “savvy” and I all it “classic.” Then I start to think of Jimmy Kimmel and I get a little sick. Regardless, Judge Reinhold had the right idea and I like to think that he got a little piece of Phoebe Cates in between scenes.
5. (BDD) Nola Rice - Match Point
Drew: Easy pickins.
My draft board is in shambles and my pants are tightening by the minute.
We take a break here while waiting for Ape to show up. Apparently somebody forgot to tell Mr. Commuter that Adrian Fenty never promised to make the trains run on time.
Ufford: I have a Word Document and IMDb open. I forgot how consuming these drafts are.
Drew: It’s hard to ignore Jesssica alba, but Carla gugino is Sin City is just about the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
Me: If i wanted an old chick i’d pick Mrs. Robinson
Drew: We need about thirty rounds for this draft. I am trying to take a mental inventory of just how many times I masturbated to each of these characters.
6. (Ape) Catwoman - Catwoman
Ape: Okay, I’ll take the Halle Catwoman, then, y’know, for the jokes.
Insert cat joke here ________.
Insert Ufford’s righteous indignation at this lack of a joke here _______.
7. (Ape) Mikaela Banes - Transformers
Yep, that’s one sexy bitch.
8. (Drew) 8. The Girl In The Ferrari - Vacation
Drew: “Are you gonna go for it?” Why, yes. I believe I will.
Christie Brinkley really got jobbed out of the Oscar on this one.
9. (MMP) Mary Ann Lomax - The Devils’ Advocate
I like it when she starts turning into that other chick. It’s like fucking two at once! I also like the idea of fucking an MRF.
10. (Flub) Girl Washing Car - Cool Hand Luke.
Flubby: “That’s a Lucille, you mullet head! Any girl so innocent and built like that gotta be named Lucille.” - Dragline
Everyone: Awesome pick.
And now for your viewing enjoyment, the video goodness!
11. (Uff) Selene - Underworld
Ufford: BAM!
Bam Bam: BAM BAM! BAM!
Emeril: BAM!
12. (Me) Charlie Nicholson - High Fidelity
Ufford: Charlie was a snooty bitch.
Me: Charlie was a snooty bitch who was HOT AS SHIT!
13. (Me) Hannah Green - Wonder Boys
Before Scientology got their alien tentacles all over her Katie Holmes was right up there on my overall list with Alba, Berry, and Kournikova (hallowed territory to be sure). She showed the tits in The Gift but I’m a huge fan of Wonder Boys and something about that red-boot wearing literati really gets to me.
14. (Uff) Kelly Lanier Van Ryan - Wild Things
Ufford: Dump champagne on her huge tits and have a threesome? Don’t mind if I do.
Sure, if you’re in to that sort of thing.
15. (MMP) Nadia - American Pie
You want me jerk you off?
And all this time I thought Punter didn’t care for the foreigners.
16. (Flub) Cherry Darling - Planet Terror
Flubby: Because who hasn’t always wanted to do a chick with a machine gun/rocket launcher leg?
17. (Drew) Tracey - Bachelor Party
Drew: I had this movie on my VCR and wore out hte tape rewinding and jerking to this scene. sometimes I couldn’t finish in time, so I had to rewind with my dick in my hand. NSFW picture can be found here.
18. (Ape) Bai Ling - 2046
Saucy. Exotic. Scary?
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT!
There are way too many honorable mentions to list them all here and frankly, we could have gone all night long. So feel free to add in your own picks in the comments.
Oh fuck it, here’s one (NSFW!) honorable mention…
Tags: Fun With Mock Drafts, Unsilent Majority, who would you do
February 15th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Jessica Alba in Idle Hands
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/176639/idle_hands/
February 15th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
first post and I already broke the rules.
Fuck I suck. I still say this trumps Sin City
February 15th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Kathryn Merteuil - Cruel Intentions. She’d let me put it anywhere.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Honorable Mention: Lisa from Weird Science, Salma Hayek’s character in Desperado, Christina Milian in Be Cool, Lana from Risky Business.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Very honorable mention:
Catherine Trammel in Basic Instinct
Brenda Bakke in Hot Shots Part Deux
Rebecca DeMornay in Risky Business
Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan
Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls
Karen Sisco in Out of Sight
Daisy Duke in Dukes of Hazzard
Kate Bosworth in Blue Crush
Eliza Dushku in Bring it on
Sloan Peterson in Ferris Bueller
Nicollete Sheridan in Spy Hard
Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places/True Lies
February 15th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Vanessa Angel in Kingpin anyone?
February 15th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Matthew McConnaughey in A Time to Kill.
Hot, smart and before he got weird and gay with Jake Gyllenhal.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Cherry Darling would have been my number one pic, Flub. You got a steal getting her that late.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
WTF, where is Christina Ricci in Black Snake Moan…I would have fucked her face to face in that movie. Had I directed that bitch would have been NC-17 like god intended.
Hell, even my prude of a lady would have banged her.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Betty Childs from “Revenge of the Nerds.”
February 15th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Marissa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. I can’t explain it, so don’t ask.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Cameron Diaz in the Mask. When she walks into the bank when it’s raining outside and she’s in that red dress. Damn, I gotta go change my pants.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Tenley Parrish (Jessica Biel) in Summer Catch
February 15th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Sloan Peterson is an amazing pick Drew
February 15th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
My bad drew, just saw your comments. No fair, how you gonna take 12 of the best and then suck up the rest in the honorable mention section.
In other news, I saw Gone, Baby Gone last night…hehehehehehehe. That thing read like a documentary of the Boston Public.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Penny Lane (Kate Hudson) in Almost Famous
February 15th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I knew my peepee was forgetting someone, grimey.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Sienna Miller in Layer Cake. Done and done.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Jane Smith (Angelina Jolie) in Mr. and Mrs. Smith
February 15th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places/True Lies
Daring!
I’m a Bridget Fonda in Jackie Brown fan, myself.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
No fair, how you gonna take 12 of the best and then suck up the rest in the honorable mention section.
Seriously. Nice cockblocking, Bambi Daddy Drew.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Monica Belucci - Irréversible
(0ver the line?)
February 15th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Betty or Rita from Mulholland Drive. If you haven’t seen it, rent it tonight. Scratch that - hit the youtube right fucking now. Then rent it tonight.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Alice (Natalie Portman) Closer. Stripper outfit mandatory
February 15th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
No fair, how you gonna take 12 of the best and then suck up the rest in the honorable mention section.
You’re right. Shouldn’t have done that.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
By the way, I find it humorous that two of the characters who got drafted ended up getting shot, and I didn’t mind so much in either case
February 15th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Harmony Faith Lane (Michelle Monaghan) in “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang”
February 15th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Does the ten pipck rule still stand?
Not sure…
Well, Ms.Honeywell (Kim Catrall) from Porky’s.
oooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
February 15th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Beatrice (Asia Argento) in B. Monkey (I’ll watch pretty much anything on IFC with hot chicks)
February 15th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
DAMMIT, Grimey! Here was the comment I was about to write:
Michelle Monaghan as Harmony in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. She shows her breasts AND corrects people’s grammar!
/swoons
February 15th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Elisabeth Shue, Leaving Las Vegas
February 15th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
grace kelly- Rear Window.
y’all are thinking WAY too contemporary.
February 15th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Ursula Andress (Honey Ryder) in Dr. No
February 15th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Kelly Preston from Jerry Maguire - liked her better in that movie than in Mischief.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Danielle from The Girl Next Door (Elisha Cuthbert)
Yes, indeed.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Sorry, CC. If it makes you feel better, LSF just beat me to Grace Kelly.
As long as I’m here, I’ll take Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman) from “Goldfinger”
February 15th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Anakin Skywalker from “Revenge of the Sith.” He’s so tormented and passionate. I bet he’s absolutely ferocious in the sack.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal
February 15th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Georgia Sykes (Alicia Keys) in Smokin’ Aces
February 15th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Natalie (Maria Bello) from The Cooler.
little joe
February 15th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra.
That’s right… kicking it old school.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Selina Kyle (Catwoman) Michelle Pfeiffer Batman Returns
February 15th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
O-Ren Ishii from Kill Bill. Dangerous!
February 15th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Lulu (Louise Brooks) in Pandora’s Box. beautiful, trampy, and totally old-school.
How do the following not appear in this draft: winona in heathers, uma thurman in dangerous liaisons, fairuza balk in anything, melanie griffith in something wild, mary stuart masterson in some kind of wonderful.
yes I was a horny adolescent in the 80s, why do you ask?
February 15th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Valeria from Conan the Barbarian.
Best movie girlfriend of all time.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Where the bond girls at? Xenia Onoatopp - Goldeneye. She’ll kick your ass while you’re tapping hers.
If you’re into that kind of stuff at least.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Tia Carrere in Wayne’s World
February 15th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Natasha Henstridge, Species - just as long as I can finish before she off’s me.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
@KC Cal - Onatopp is a great call.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Maribel Verdu in Y Tu Mama Tambien
February 15th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles
“It’s twue!!”
February 15th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Leeloo - The 5th Element
February 15th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
The Devil (Elizabeth Hurley) Bedazzled
February 15th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Paz Vega - Sex and Lucia
February 15th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Jennifer Connoley - Requiem for a Dream. Yeah lesbian dildo scene.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Barbarella (Jane Fonda) in, well, “Barbarella.”
February 15th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Marilyn Monroe - The Seven Year Itch.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) in Return of the Jedi
February 15th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
James Bond from Casino Royale.
Oh, Daniel Craig you tight bathing suit wearing wonder you.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
@mike, no Molly Ringwald or Lea Thompson ?
I’ll take both:
Ringwald in Pretty in Pink and Thompson in Red Dawn. Wolverines !
February 15th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
@turleygirlie: WORD on Jake Brigance in ATTK.
My pick: Clive Owen as King Arthur. I would do anything that man wanted.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
@smello: Damn it, I was going to take Craig but I felt like I needed to let some other ladies chime in first… now I’m going to have to be selfish and go with Leo DiCaprio, from that scene in The Departed when he nails his psychiatrist on the counter. That scene alone was enough to win Best Picture in my book.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Jennifer Jason Leigh - Fast TIme at Ridgemont High.
That’s right… in the dugout.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Syd (Gabrielle Union) from “Bad Boys II”
February 15th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
My #1 here would be Lucy Liu in Payback.
And Rebecca Romjin in Femme Fatale would have been my value pick in Round 2.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Gina Gershon… bound
@jim: “ASS to ASS!!!”
February 15th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Dr Kathryn Railly (Madeleine Stowe) in Twelve Monkeys. I’v always had a thing for her. Thing…..ha ….spontanious dick joke.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Isla Fisher in Wedding Crashers. Sure, she’s psychotic. But I likee me some crazy redhead.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Or… Jennifer Connelly. Career Opportunities. Ta-dow!
February 15th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I would just like to reiterate: Hot Shots Part Deux is a terrible movie. But the blond chick in it (Brenda Bakke) is fucking beyond hot. It’s a testament to her that I was able to whack it so often to a PG-13 movie.
“In my hands nothing turns to putty.”
February 15th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Susan - Big. a little old school, but it was awesome when he palmed her tit
February 15th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Polly Prince (Aniston) in Along Came Polly.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Kim Basinger (Vicki Vale) in Batman
February 15th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Although I could list half of the movie… Eurotrip
Meikie - Jessica Boehrs
Wierd Leather S&M Lady - Lucy Lawless
*Xena Warrior Princess anyone?*
February 15th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
dammit otto man, i was gonna take ol jane in that, but only if i got to pull the double osi (Shit and piss) all over her. Always been a dream of mine.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Salma Hayek in Desperado.
“Help me! Help me! This is Salma Hayek. Over here! Please help me! I am lost and I have no clothes!”
February 15th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
You other ladies have some truly execellent taste in the man meat.
My second pick, before I must return to actually working…
King Leonidas in 300.
Holy hell does that pre-war sex scene heat up a room.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Anne Hathaway - Havoc.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Rita Hayworth in Gilda
February 15th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Also since we are way down the line now, I doubt I would be alone in recommending Reagan (Linda Blair) in Exorcist Part 2 when she is 18.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Julia Stiles, the Bourne Ultimatum. What? I can’t explain it.
d_g: Hathaway is a great pick.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
if i can’t poop on jane fonda, i’ll take jessica simpson from dukes of hazard, since i’d feel comfortable pooping on her.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Clarice Starling (Julianne Moore) Hannibal, What? You were thinking Jodi Foster? You draft her then! Punch, I too likee redheads!
February 15th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Brad Pitt in Oceans 11, 12, 13.
What a steal in this round.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Has anyone taken Estelle Getty from “Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot?”
February 15th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
I agree with the Hathaway call. Very much so.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
June Carter Cash (Reese Witherspoon) in Walk the Line
February 15th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Jeanne in Last Tango in Paris.
Yes, I will butter her roll.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
@otto man
You owe me a new keyboard.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Samantha (Linda Cardellini) from Grandma’s Boy and Shirley Jones from the same movie. She totally played a horny old slut in that movie.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Helena Bonham Carter in Fight Club
February 15th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
I’m just full of good ideas today…
Brittany Daniel in Joe Dirt.
(almost took her from Club Dread, but she’s hotter in Joe Dirt)
February 15th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
@turleygirlie: I think we have a mind meld or something, because you keep picking the ones I want! And now I can’t pick him for Fight Club. Damn.
I’ll go with Josh Lucas in Stealth. Hotness + uniform = yes, please.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Nina hartley from boogie nights, so i can lay someone in a driveway.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
smurfette - If you took him from fight club, you would really be getting Ed Norton
February 15th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Jennifer Tilly Bride of Chucky
February 15th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Raquel Welch in 1,000,000 BC
February 15th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Sorry Devang.
Some guys like cougars, some guys like sabertooth tigers.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Fuck! Can’t believe I forgot this one earlier - I know Angelina Jolie is long gone, but Julia Russell in Original Sin is worth the break in the rules.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Jennifer Lopez in Selena
February 15th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Keira Knightley in Bend It Like Beckham
February 15th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
@john s. - A threesome with Brad Pitt and Edward Norton? Oh, holy god, yes.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Aaliyah (Trish O’Day) in Romeo Must Die.
Hey she wasn’t dead then!
February 15th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
kristy swanson in The Chase
February 15th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Sorry, smurphette…I couldn’t believe he wasn’t taken yet.
/trying to figure out if Becks has been in a movie
February 15th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
The first action movie I saw was The Terminator.
Consequently, the first breasts I saw were Linda Hamilton’s. I’ll take her and her sweet near-mullet.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Carrie-Anne Moss (Trinity) in the Matrix
February 15th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Also…thanks for that threesome image.
/spank bank full now
February 15th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Alabama Worely
February 15th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
@ dougolis
I was debating her myself, but I couldn’t get over her blank expressions during the sex in Matrix Reloaded.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Ooh, I like the King Leonidas call.
Damn it, I was DYING to take Adam Banks in D2:The Mighty Ducks; sadly, a little IMDB-ing reveals that young Vinnie LaRusso did not reach the age of consent until D3, in which he was no longer as cute. Let the record show that I would still absolutely take the 16-year-old Banks and have no qualms whatsoever about it (god, I used to teach high school…). However, in accordance with the rules of the draft, I’ll take Ryan Reynolds in Van Wilder.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
New Pick =
Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire.
Brittany Daniel - Joe Dirt
Anne Hathaway - Havoc
Rebecca Romijn Stamos - Femme Fatale
Lucy Liu - Payback
@dougolis - nice pick.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Jennifer Johnson (?) Blame it on Rio (the girl Michael Caine was banging).
February 15th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Strangely enough…I’ll take Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) from Tombstone.
Don’t ask me to explain - I can’t.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
@walker: Kristy Swanson was fucking hot in that. Plus the sex in the car while being chased down the free, nice.
Charlize Theron (Aileen) in Monster. Yeah, screw you bitches. I can’t believe she wasn’t taken and I’m waisting her on this.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
P.J. Soles in Stripes with the “aunt jemimah” treatment.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
smurfette - Well… I guess you might look at the pick that way.
For my next pick…
Tracy (Diana Rigg) from On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
February 15th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
300 is a nice call. However, I would have elected to have been the role of pitcher, rather than catcher.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
@turelygirlie: In to dudes with TB?
February 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Lula Fortune (Laura Dern) Wild at Heart
February 15th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
@dougolis
The rules are simple, draft a character from a movie, once the movie has been picked it is off limits and once an actress has been picked all of her other roles are off limits.
She’s been picked. I tried as well.
February 15th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Bo Dereck in 10
February 15th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Chloe from Fight Club - She’s well prepared and I’d be going a good deed by fucking someone.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Sharon Stone Basic Instinct
February 15th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Sean Young in Dune
February 15th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
@turleygirle: No need to apologize. That’s the beauty of this game. Everybody wins
@futuremrs: Damn again! “Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.” Oh well, at least the KSK commenter ladies have good taste in hypothetical one-night stands.
I pick James McAvoy in Atonement. That scene in the library . . . shivers going up my spine just thinking about it.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Betsy Russell in “Private School”
February 15th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
How is Charlize Theron not taken yet? I’ll take her in Monster…just kidding, Stella in Italian Job.
Also Christabella(connie neilsen) in Devils Advocate
February 15th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
@JimmyCraghorn, I’m more of a Rock and Roll high School PJ Soles fan.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
New Pick =
Jenna Fischer - Blades of Glory
Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire.
Brittany Daniel - Joe Dirt
Anne Hathaway - Havoc
Rebecca Romijn Stamos - Femme Fatale
Lucy Liu - Payback
February 15th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Never mind on Charlize I was too late
February 15th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
cindy crawford in Fair Game
February 15th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Diane Lane in Unfaithful.
That hallway scene is the tits!
February 15th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Mary McCormack (Alyson Stern)HowardStern: Private Parts
February 15th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I’ll take a Bond girl. Cary Lowell as Pam Bouvier in License to Kill. very hot 20 years ago.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Linda Fiorentino - Jade
February 15th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Penelope Cruz in Blow
February 15th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Jeanne Tripplehorn - Basic Instinct
Over the Chair, baby!
February 15th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Michelle Trachtenberg. I’ll go with her in EuroTrip.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Sissy Knox (Parker Posey) in A Mighty Wind.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Tania Chernova (Racehl Wiecz) in Enemy at the Gates.
Nice to be with a girl who could try and group as well as I can.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Vera Farmiga from The Departed
February 15th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
New Pick =
Alicia Silverstone in Clueless
Roster:
Jenna Fischer - Blades of Glory
Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire.
Brittany Daniel - Joe Dirt
Anne Hathaway - Havoc
Rebecca Romijn Stamos - Femme Fatale
Lucy Liu - Payback
I think I have one more pick and then I actually have to work….
February 15th, 2008 at 3:13 pm
Ok, just onnnnnnnnnnne more. Colin Farrell in Minority Report. He just gives off this disciplinarian vibe I could seriously get down with.
Hayden
Leo
Ryan
Colin
Sweet.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
FUCKKK. Imogen Poots from 28 Weeks Later breaks the rules by weeks… Ugh.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Has no one picked baby momma Bridget? in say, The Recruit
February 15th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini)in Blue Velvet
February 15th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
@devang: Where the fuck did I pick one that was already used? I searched and found no prior uses for any. Douche.
And my final pick (maybe): Hilary Swank as Brandon Teena in Boys Don’t Cry.
wait, what?
February 15th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
is it sad that the best part of the post for me was the “:(”?
not to say it wasn’t a great post, it was.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
That one Drew Barrymore played in…oh, wait, you said over 18.
That one Natalie Portman played in…oh, wait, you said over 18.
Shit. Not my turn anyway.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Ariel (Ann-Margaret) in Grumpier Old Men. I like the cougars…
February 15th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
No - really - you ladies are reading my mind. I would’ve taken the Blade Trinity version of RR & the Top Gun version of Val, but I see the value in both of your picks.
Pick 3 is going back to my youth…
Matt Dillon in The Outsiders.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
MAria Bello - in a cheerleader outfit
February 15th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
@ greg: “Bo Dereck in 10″
I never saw that movie, but I did see her in Tarzan, the Ape Man. I must say, she looked fucktastic.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Winona Ryder Mina Murray - Dracula
February 15th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
@dougolis
9. (MMP) Mary Ann Lomax - The Devils’ Advocate
I like it when she starts turning into that other chick. It’s like fucking two at once! I also like the idea of fucking an MRF.
there ya go.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Shannyn Sossamon as Lady Jocelyn in A Knight’s Tale.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Elle “The Body” in Sirens
February 15th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I am still, a half hour later, sitting at my desk wishing I was Diane Lane in the hallway scene. Lucky bitch.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Leslie Bibb in Talladega Nights.
“You won’t find another rack like that, I guarantee it”
February 15th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
with the steal of the draft I take Ali Larter from Varsity Blues … all I have to say is whipped cream bikini
February 15th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Final Roster:
Anne Heche - Wild Side
Alicia Silverstone - Clueless
Jenna Fischer - Blades of Glory
Alyssa Milano - Embrace of the Vampire.
Brittany Daniel - Joe Dirt
Anne Hathaway - Havoc
Rebecca Romijn Stamos - Femme Fatale
Lucy Liu - Payback
Winner Winner, chicken dinner.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
That chick from Saving Silverman
February 15th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Beth (Amy Smart) from Road Trip. How has no one taken her yet?
February 15th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
I’m fucking Parker Posey, and you’re claiming victory? Try again, dood.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Kate Capshaw in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
You call him Dr Jones!
February 15th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
oh, I see. I stand corrected. I forgot that was her.
I just realized that Keira Knightley may have been sub-18 in Bend It Like Beckham. But she’s British so it doesn’t count right? Since age of consent is lower? If not, I switch it to Pride and Prejudice.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
@landru, give me some Parker Posey in House of Yes.
Nice call.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Last pick of the day: Jason Statham in Snatch.
King Arthur
Lt. Ben Gannon
Robbie Turner
Turkish
I am the Bill Polian of KSK mock drafts. Some big names, some sleepers, all hitting my needs perfectly. Yowza.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Elizabeth Banks–40 year old virgin
Freaky as shit
February 15th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
It’s okay, Dougolis, I wouldn’t have fucked Drew Barrymore at any age.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
@sl - I was torn between Amy Smart and Shannyn Sossamon. I figured Sossamon had more length and upside - not to mention she’s a poor man’s Keira Knightley. I stand by my decision.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Mandy Pepperidge - Animal House
The late great John Belushi and his ladder would agree.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
OK - since my boss has been in here twice, I really do need to work. So, I’m picking two.
Eric Bana as Hector in that abomonation that was Troy.
Dominic Purcell in Blade: Trinity.
Daniel Craig/James Bond
Gerard Butler/King Leonidas
Matt Dillon/Dallas Winston
Eric Bana/Hector
Dominic Purcell/Drake
And…I’m done.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Isla Fischer in Hot Rod.
Still just as hot as she was in Wedding Crashers, but incredibly kind, sensitive and understanding instead of psychopathic and sexually insatiable.
I’m a softie.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
@GldnKnight5
Nice, although I would’ve picked Shelly Dubinsky (Fawn Leibowitz’s roommate)
My last pick is Mo’nique from Beerfest
February 15th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I’ll leave with 2 and be happy. This one is a “you have to like this type of girl” pick, but I am going with:
Ellen Page from Juno (pre-pregnant scenes)
Roster:
Leslie Bibb (Talladega Nights)
Ellen Page (Juno)
And I am taking my ball and going home.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
Brittany (Susan Ward)-The In Crowd
February 15th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
It’s nice that I can come back from lunch and still pick up Sue (Lauren Graham) from Bad Santa
February 15th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Kathy Ireland in Necessary Roughness
February 15th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
April (Eva Mendes) from Stuck on You.
Isis (Gabrielle Union) from Bring it On.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Dammit Grimey! Nice call.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Nicole Eggert as Megan in the real version of Blown Away, even if it is sloppy thirds to both Corey’s
February 15th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Jennifer Love Hewitt is still available, I believe. I’ll take her in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Rene Mosier (Shannon Doherty) from Mallrats
February 15th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Not gonna lie… It’s gonna get a little weird…
Jasmine from Aladdin. Not into cartoons, but I’d make an exceptio…er- I mean if she were a real person. Yea that’s it.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Sarah Silverman as herself in Jesus is Magic.
Although some serious washing might be in order to remove the Kimmel leavings.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Christina Applegate in Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead
I like it for such a late pick
February 15th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison.
“That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ass.” - Chris Farley
Classic.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Bai Ling? “2046?” I must have missed that… Or is it the standard “All Asians look alike” thing?
My pick is Anna Karina in Band of Outsiders.
Snooty!
February 15th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce) in Austin Powers Goldmember
February 15th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Patricia Arquette in True Romance.
Going ahead of Rosanna due the larger bosoms and lack of metal in her face.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Ladies… no Christian Bale? I’ll take the twins from “the Prestige.”
February 15th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Ray Charles’ wife (Kerry Washington)
February 15th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I don’t see C.Z. Jones up there, but Ocean’s Twelve was taken by one of the girls, so I guess I’ll go with her in the abominable Mark of Zorro.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
If we’re going into cartoons, then Ariel from The Little Mermaid.
She might actually be hotter with the fishtail instead of legs.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Casey Affleck from 200 Cigarettes.
Oh, and Paul Ruud from any of the Seth Rogan films.
Something about them…
(Yeah, I’m getting away from “freaking hot” and going to “sexy, smart and funny.”)
February 15th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Katie (Paul Rudd’s girlfriend) in Wet Hot American Summer.
“I want you inside me!”
February 15th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
AS long as we are going with cartoons… Taarna from Heavy Metal.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Cartoons leave only 1 real choice.
Jessica Rabbit.
I’m not bad I’m just drawn that way.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Ellen Pompeno from Old School. You know she likes it dirty.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Droz from PCU.
(Jeremy Piven… drool…)
February 15th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Naturelle Riviera (Rosario Dawson) 25th hour
February 15th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
I’ll take Chiaki Kuriyama as Gogo Yubari in “Kill Bill: Vol. I…”
…or that crazy bitch she played in “Battle Royale.” Both performances feature a Japanese schoolgirl uniform.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
dammit, i decide to take the morning off to sleep in and miss the draft.
ill take frog- (sally fields), smokey and the bandit
anyone pick futuremrsrickankiel yet?
February 15th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
@mary: Bale is all yours… enjoy! We had to leave SOME hotties on the board for the latecomers.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Jungle Julia in Death Proof
February 15th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Gogo Yubari is a great call on the face of things, but I’m not sure she’s worth getting disemboweled for.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft) in The Graduate. She was the original MILF.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Cristina (Naomi Watts) from 21 grams…
February 15th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
@futuremrs.
Thank you! I was afraid I would be stuck with Seann William Scott or something…
February 15th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
not like y’all to leace Marge Simpson on the board!! I’ll take her and a case of Duff’s to go!!!
D’oh!!
February 15th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Thandie Newton - MI-II
February 15th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Matilda “Matil” Jeffries - Zoolander
/fuck the 10 rule im going back to work
February 15th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Woody seemed to enjoy Gloria (Rosie Perez) in White Men Can’t Jump.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Were the Disney ‘toon characters over 18 at the time of filming?
That would be sooooo wrong, yet soooo good.
I’ll take Elizabeth Berkeley’s character from Showgirls. Or is that porn?
February 15th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Monica (Blake Lively) in Accepted. I agree fully with Ufford.
February 15th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Trying to wait 10 posts, but oh well. I’m going out on a limb with Lucy Wagner in Crossroads…the great Britney Spears!
February 15th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Julie from “Swimming Pool” Ludivine Sagnier as long as I could finish before getting hit in the head with a brick
or
“the young girl” (Jane March) in “The Lover”, kind of a Alyssa Milano-lite
February 15th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Didn’t check if it was named yet, but I’d take Christine Taylor (Mrs. Ben Stiller) in…Zoolander, why not.
February 15th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
That chick from the Naked Gun movies.
/scraping the bottom of the barrel?
February 15th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Almost all the good ones have been taken, but Samantha Stone (Brittany Daniel) in Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders. Not quite as hot as the Brittany in Joe Dirt, but at least this one is all about three-somes and gets naked.
February 15th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Katherine Zeta Jones in anything…
Dudes, how could we forget her?
February 15th, 20