It’s About Damn Time These Baristas Got Their Ducks In A Row.
And not a moment too soon. I was growing weary of my tasty beverage alternative. Have you ever tried slurping whipped cream out of Keith Olbermann’s asshole?
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Tags: bad MS Paint, MMP, peter king, peter king gay porn, satirizing Peter King because it's relly easy and nobod, starbucks
February 28th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Notice how Subway doesn’t call their workers sandwich artists anymore?
February 28th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Keith Olbermann’s asshole? Geez, that’s kind of redundant…
We look forward to hearing more missives about Peter King here in Uzbekistan (where it is always wintertime!).
February 28th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Posted at 3:10 pm, huh?
This is approaching bukkake day territory.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
i worked at a starbucks for a year or so in college. I have absolutely no idea what sort of retraining could possibly take more than 5 minutes.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
All this media coverage, and they still didn’t report on the real reason for the Starbucks’ closings.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Posted at 3:10 pm, huh?
Apparently Punter lives on a pirate internet ship off the coast of the Canary Islands.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
PK likes it with extra cream.
But he drinks his coffee black. Hiyo!
February 28th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
You know that a naked Brett Favre is going to pop out of that giant cup any second….
February 28th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I always thought barista was Italian for “art school graduate.”
February 28th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I always thought barista was Italian for “art school student taking some time off to live with her boyfriend, who’s convinced her that she doesn’t need ‘classes’ to express herself, man.”
Fixed, and now perhaps deserving of a “more depressing than I intended” tag.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
fmra, you forgot the part where they have the lip ring.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Anyone seen the Dunkin Donuts commercial where they say that you can order “in English, not Fritalian” — I guess making fun of Starbucks usage of dumbass words for their menu items? Fine enough, but then the coffee product featured in the ad is a “Dunkin Latte.” Genius.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
No elderly farter? Not interested.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Fallex, I thought the EXACT same thing when I saw that commercial.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
i thought that same thing as well. also, i get that its retarded to have names that arent small medium and large. but if you ask for any one of those sizes, they understand. no one has ever been like “say grande or no coffee for you, faggot!”
February 28th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
I’d totally buy a Dunkin Latte. Matter of fact, if I can even find a Dunkin here in Seattle, I’m going to buy their coffee simply because the person behind the counter would know what the fuck size a small, medium, or large is, instead of Tall, Grande, or Viente.
@ Moof! - they were called sandwich architects. As an architect, I took offense to that for a second. Then I just ate my sandwich.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Well now where I am supposed to loiter this afternoon, Panera here I come.
February 28th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
does small, medium, large even matter anymore since all the restaurants upgraded the sizes? what used to be a medium is now a small and what was once large is now medium. large is now a bathtub full of soda, and people wonder why American is overweight.
also, i told my girlfriend i was venti in the pants….
February 28th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
Mmm… bathtub full of soda… just throw some scotch in there and I’d never leave the apartment.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Oh and Bill Belichick is a facking douchebag…oops was that off topic??
Umm let me tie this into a coffee discussion…here we go…They don’t like their coffee DAHK in Baaston, nor do they like black people.
February 28th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
@jammq/otto man: Or Ape taught Punter his nifty Deadspin time traveling trick.
February 28th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
If I ever saw a Starbucks cup THAT big, I’d unload my Mossberg into it. Same goes for Peter King.
Caribou rules!
@otto
That Onion story is too close for comfort. I mean, what if…?
February 28th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
In Boston a regular coffee has cream and sugar in it, since its not regulah to be dahk
February 28th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
That Onion story is too close for comfort. I mean, what if…?
What do you mean what if?
The Barista Hordes are coming, my friends. Join me in the hills! Join me for freedom!
February 29th, 2008 at 10:42 am
I’d like a medium coffee.
Grande?
Medium.
Grande?
Medium coffee.
Maybe they had to give their staff a little time to decompress from all the fucking coffee they drink, give them some time to clear their little minds.