Hines Ward Reviews the Super Bowl Ads
Foll 42 Supel Bowr, I was no praying, so I sit at home to watch for commelciarr while frowing locks at pictules of Ben Rongrastname. You want tarr leceivel? Eat lock, sterrrpid!
This time ads just okay, not leery super fantastic. But some make smirre. I tell for you!
I rike this one okay. Encoulage peeperr to have creen crowes, patlonize my laundlee prace. You have ticket?
I give it shree smirre.
Commelciar numbel terr:
I leery confricted about this one. It make raff but giant piddin is scalee. Also fly around my prace and nevel reave. Prease reave, piddin.
I give onree terr smirre.
Commelciar numbel shree:
I can no bereave this. It so lacist! Because panda is Asian he have to have funny accent? I so Ang Lee! Panda in movie theatel who does kung fu and terr me to sirence cerr phone is voiced by Jack Brack! That super okay! But this one offenses me!
It suckasuckasuckasuckasuckasuckasucka.
This ad suck to me.
I give no smirre.
Tags: hines wald is stirr me favolite steerer, lil more racist, stereotypes, xmas ape
February 7th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Evlyone’s a ritter bit lacist.
/christmas eve
February 7th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
/clies wiff raffter
February 7th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
HAPPY NEW YEAR HINES!!!!!!
korea is in china right?
February 7th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
For some reason, this made me think of that rescued Asian sex slave they’ve got working in the station on Reno 911! this season.
“No, I didn’t say to fuck this letter. I said to FAX it.”
February 7th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I want flied lice for lunch after reading this.
February 7th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
okay that one flied lice, you wanta egg dlop soup? no? okay it be fye ten minaw
February 7th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Hines musta loved halftime
“Flee Farrrin…isa rong day…rivin in Leseda..flee farrrin”
February 7th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
I am offended by this column.
*puts on blackface, takes a bite of watermelon*
February 7th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Duck sauce soy sauce? Duck sauce soy sauce?
WHAT A BARGAIN!
February 7th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
+1 to futuremrs.
Reno 911 is great…
February 7th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
You terrk the box? Ret’s see what’s in the box! Nossing! Absorutery nossing! STUPID! Yoo so STU-PEEEEED!
/bangs gong
February 7th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
nossing in box? i’m…so…ronery… so ronery, so ronery and sadry arone
February 7th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
I found myself reading some of the lines out loud to get the full effect. My asian co-wolkel down harr no rike.
February 7th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
@UU:
It’s “fried rice,” you plick.
February 7th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
[goes back to the well
Aplliirrrr Foorrrrs!
/never gets old
February 7th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Chopsticks. 89 cents. What a bargain for me…..I think I will buy some!
February 7th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
so an american, a mexican, and a chinese guy all decide to go camping, the American says, “i will bring the tent,” the mexican says, “i will bring the food,” the chinese guy says, “i will bring the supplies,” so the American gets to camp and starts setting up the tents, the mexican gets there and starts a fire and puts on a pot of beans, it’s startin to get dark and the American looks around and says, “where is that crazy chinese dude?” suddenly the chinese guy jumps out of the bushes and yells, “SUPPLIIIIIIIEEEEES”
February 7th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Mee rike tis brog merrry much. Mee give brog tree smirre.
I don’t know what the hell I just typed.
February 7th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Deck da harrs wid barrs of harry, ra ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra.
+1 to The Christmas Story.
… and yeah, that commercial is racist as shit.
February 7th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
ROR!
February 7th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Verry Frucking Frunny, roundeye!
You arr can go to Herr! To Herr!
February 7th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
… and yeah, that commercial is racist as shit.
And the other one, with an Apu-like Indian guy.
Both were apparently dreamed up by the CEO of the company. I can’t wait until he makes his apology:
“Oh, me so solly you no likee my ads!”
February 7th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
@otto man
As far as I know, the CEO of Sales Genie is Indian (dot, not feathers)
February 7th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
I hate myself for laughing my ass off at this.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Maybe we should have robster craws…
February 7th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
@koshersam: +1
February 7th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Looks like you’re right, Devang. All the more bizarre.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
i live right next to chinatown, and last night they were setting off fireworks ….really loudly. ….must have been good fireworks
i blame hines ward and his o so hilarious speech
you want the citttyy chicken?
February 7th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
When you see Arec Barrwin, you see the true ugriness of human nature.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
What the fruck’s a frush?
February 7th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Andrei Kirilenko MUST CRUSH YOU for perpetuating stereotypes about athletes with foreign backgrounds.
February 7th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
What’s that Scooby? You saw a ghost chasing us . . .
-Shaggy
February 7th, 2008 at 6:01 pm
You know how much I’d pay to read this post?
Fee dowr beel! Fee dowr beel!
/Data
February 7th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
You God damn Mongorians! Quit knocking down my shitty warr!
February 7th, 2008 at 6:23 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….Fuck and Yes on these comments!
Anyone seen Artie Lange’s impression of a drunk Harry Carey talking about Chinamen?
February 7th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Being from Massachusetts, I’m quite confused. There are other races to make fun of?
February 7th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Will Hines Ward be giving us all hugs on Sunday when we get out first taste of no-footballness?
February 7th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
This post was fricking hilarious.
However, you do know that you’re opening up yourself up for a shot by the Massholes right? And by Massholes, I mean SuperMike4Ever.
February 7th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Bigga Ben numbah 10. Me thourt he ruv me wrong time.
February 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
I don’t give a shit about supermike. It was cathartic to post all of his gloating comments from the past few months following the Super Bowl, but engaging him only worsens the effect he has on the Deadspin threads. Besides, he claims he’s only read this “tardblog” once, even though he’s somehow always up on what we’re writing.
February 7th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Next time SuperMike comes around, we should just “sit back and try to enjoy it.” That’ll make things easier, just like it made watching the Patriots go 18-1 easier.
February 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
I hate all of you for making me laugh so hard I pissed my good pants.
/Calls Mama-San
February 7th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Hines Ward’s blog is always ready in 10 15 minute. No matter when you call.
February 7th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Chinese Guy: Get ready Sheila, this guy likes the act…..(puts on hat) Mistah Simspon, you good man, we happy see you!
Chinese Lady: You not come long time!
Chinese Guy: Come, sit, drinkee drinkee.
Chinese Lady: Where’s Margie? She super lady!
February 8th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I thought the Ang Lee link would be to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltT9dMGiFjI
“Don’t make me Ang Lee, you won’t like me when I’m Ang Lee”
February 8th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I most like how I struggle to read these at the beginning, but breeze through it at the end. And now I am stluggring go back to leggural.
February 8th, 2008 at 10:23 am
@Dr.VanNostren
+1
Artie Rules
February 8th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Thank you Ping Pong.
My name is Craig.
Sure it is…