The divisional round seems like a unnecessary matter of course before we get served our respective regular season rematch conference title games of Packers-Cowboys and Colts-Patriots. Therefore, we’re fed a plateful of tepid rivalries this weekend, so we have to go with the one that has the best chance of being a good game (that’s a lie: actually Packers-Seahawks is probably the most even game of the weekend, but I find it boring). But this is the NFC East, so there’s history. Or, more accurately, there are two goofy quarterbacks who are subjects of running jokes. So, WHO YA GOT?
Tony Romo___________Elisha Manning
Owes success to
Miscegenation_______Faint stubble (new), family name (milked for all time)
Jessica Simpson_________Big-time squash tournament he’s missing
Terrell Owens_____Coaches to ransom his dirtbike a little longer
Leads the league in
Smiles, by gum SMILES AS BIG AS ALL OUTDOORS_____Insincere half-smirks
Hoping to overcome
Past playoff flub__________Limited interest in the game
Rock Band role
Saving Wade’s job_______Just doing enough to keep his own
I want more like this!
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