Prognosticating With Plaxico
Easily the worst part of the Super Bowl is the ceaseless stream of predictions that flood the airwaves and clog the intertubes. Everybody has an opinion this time of year, whether they are a professed expert or some guy in your office who’s breadth of knowledge comes from what they heard on the easy listening station. Nobody really cares about these predictions, but we recognize everyone’s right to offer up an entirely subjective final score. Well now the players themselves are joining in on the fun.
And then, as he entered the stadium and turned left toward the Giants locker room, Burress was asked for his prediction. Burress never hesitated, flatly stating “23-17.”
So there you have it, Giants win!
With that issue settled we sat down with Plaxico to hear some of his other insightful predictions. We’ll let him tell you what he thinks…
I like Dukakis by ten electoral votes.
The Grenadines will hold their ground.
Disco is here to stay!
There’s an Oscar in Tom Green’s future.
Roe v. Wade? It’s Wade all day, baby!
We’ll be in and out of Baghdad in no time.
TBL will earn a Pulitzer for his interviewing skills.
Asbestos is the building block of our future.
Hitch your wagon to Marcy Playground’s rising star!
People will be talking about Brad Renfro’s death for years to come.
Google’s stock isn’t going anywhere.
NWA will be together forever.
Can’t go wrong with sub-prime mortgages.
Newspapers are a never-ending growth industry.
Bhutto wins in a landslide.
Fred Thompson has that Republican nomination locked up.
Prop Joe will bring order to the drug trade, you’ll see.
You’ll never hear a word about Leitch’s book.
Reggie Nelson will be impressed by this post.
The Maj’s television debut will go off without a hitch.
Jerramy Stevens really just needs another chance.
George Foreman will get his belt back.
Dan Snyder will figure it all out.
Drew will be very agreeable about Super Bowl party plans.
Did you see Britney shaved her head? She really can’t sink any lower, huh?
That Amy Winehouse is gonna pull it together one day.
The Great Bambi won’t comment on this thread.
Also, Patriots 31-21, just to be safe.
Thanks Plax!
January 29th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Louis XVI may be off to a rough start, but they’ll call him the greatest king ever by the time he leaves the throne.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I predict that within 100 years, computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings of Europe will own them.
Could it be used for dating?
Well, theoretically, yes. But the computer matches would be so perfect as to eliminate the thrill of romantic conquest…
January 29th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
The Red Sox won’t win a World Series in my lifetime.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
After all of that, he dropped his crystal ball in the end zone.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
HD-DVD? Wave of the future.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
The Soviets and Cold War are just a reality of life we have to get used to.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
After giving him with the Sudatenland, we have nothing to worry about from an appeased Hitler.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Sure he can guess the score of a football game, but Nostradamus knew about 9-11.
- Reggie Nelson
January 29th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Alot of these sound like they came from Peter King.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Fuck.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
No woman will ever want to be with a man who hugs baby goats.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
thanks UM.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Caveman will be very cool with Bambi’s excessive commenting.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
No way Clemens will be named in the Mitchell report…
January 29th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Save us, Naptown Drew.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
To be fair, Plax didn’t specify who actually wins!
January 29th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
After playing Nordberg, nothing can stop OJ’s rising star.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
The rate at which bambi comments will directly reflect how much he gets laid.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
@who am i – He didn’t have to.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
@mrs. – +1
January 29th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
OJ will find the real killers.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Not Prop Joe, noooooooooo!
January 29th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
This Monica Lewinsky story is going to be swept under the rug.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
The money is just going to roll in once There Will Be Blood is released.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
censorship ain’t cool
Hey! Finally a good one from bambi!
January 29th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Waterworld is going to thrust Kevin Costner to the top of the action genre
January 29th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Elisha won’t turn back into a pumkin right before our eyes on Super Bowl Sunday
January 29th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
The Euro is a passing fad. Go long on the dollar.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
awesome, bambi’s comments have, for the most part, been erased
January 29th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
“This year, I invested in pumpkins. They’ve been going up the whole month of October and I got a feeling they’re going to peak right around …. January.
“Then, bang! That’s when I’ll cash in.”
January 29th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Nothing like a well-placed Marcy Playground reference to snap me out of my mid-day doldrums!
January 29th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
“Go ahead, borrow all you want against your house. We’re due for a looooong run-up in real estate values, besides rates are cheeeeeeep. Remodel, put in a pool, hell add on!”
Fuck. Me.
wv: cupsgin
Thanks and thanks! I really needed two.
January 29th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Why are we still waiting for a Super Bowl prediction from Bill Belichick’s cold sore?
http://ballhype.com/story/bill_belichick_has_herpes/
C’mon!
January 29th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Eli won’t attempt suicide after losing the Super Bowl.
January 29th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
That chick I picked up on Craigslist promised me she’s a real girl, and she’s way into anal. Perfect!
January 29th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
The Latinos would have much more respect for our immigration laws if we would just reintroduce slavery.
January 29th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
The new wave of plastic surgery: prosthetic vestigial tails.
January 29th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Convicted pedophiles will one day be the only ones allowed to judge beauty pageants. They have an underappreciated talent as far as I’m concerned.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Gillette Stadium will never bring back the “coloreds only” bathrooms and drinking fountains.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Bobby Petrino will build a legacy with the Atlanta Falcons that won’t soon be forgotten.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
All that’s missing from Lifetime TV movies is more explosions.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
An expansion team in Mexico is just the shot in the arm the NHL needs.
January 29th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Gun safety class will soon replace Home Economics in our middle schools.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Whoa, whoa, whoa….
Is Naptown Drew actually Bambi in disguise?
January 29th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
We…I mean I…don’t know what you’re talking about.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Blackface: the tan of the future.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
The sequel to Schindler’s List will become the highest grossing comedy movie of all time.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Semen will one day be an omnipresent ingredient in cosmetics, as the Asians involved in bukakke have such wonderful skin.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
The fashion industry won’t sleep on the potential boon of designer adult diapers much longer.
February 4th, 2008 at 12:57 am
Yeah, small problem here, Plax was not only right but he actually gave NE Too Much Credit. So, hmm, maybe he actually knew what he was talking about.