O Brother, There Art Thou
[Theme to Naruto ringtone]
Eli: Hello?
Peyton: ‘Sup Dong Wong DeMarco.
Eli: What do you want, suckbutt? I’m trying to watch old episodes of Goof Troop.
Peyton: Heard the news? I’m coming to watch my lil’ brudda play in the big game. Need a quick pep talk? A cell phone plan? A credit card? Flood insurance? Tasteful decor for your living room?
Eli: What? I told you to stay away, Pey-Pey. You know how I play when you’re around.
Peyton: Can’t just let you tie the Manning Family Record for Super Bowl titles that easy. Gotta pay your dues. I had to wait a bit longer for mine.
Eli: You’re just gonna let Brady win? Is that it?
Peyton: That asshole already has more rings than I’ll ever get. What’s one more?
Eli: I’m gonna tell dad! He’ll set you straight, like that year he made you sleep under the sink when you put the milk back in the fridge with only half a sip left.
Peyton: Tell him all you want. He’ll be right next to me in a big Oreo costume. We’ll be walking up and down the aisles selling programs and beer. We move product, youngin’. That’s grown man business.
Then we’re gonna pass out masks of my face to Patriots fans at six bucks a pop. Ruin Romo had a good ring to it, so this’ll be Make Eli Cry. A whole stadium of Peyton faces staring you down. It’ll be like that scene in Being John Malkovich where everybody is Malkovich.
Eli: You know I don’t watch grown-up movies!
This isn’t fair! I want my ring like Peyton has! He won’t share his!MMMMOOOOOOMM!!!!
Tags: bitter eli, bitter peyton manning, bored at work equals weekend post, xmas ape
January 26th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I like to think that when the Manning crew were jumping up and down in the luxury box Cooper Heidingfelder-Manning was on the phone mocking Pey Pey.
Yeah I am hungover at work with a bunch of morons so we I researched Cooper Manning.
January 26th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
I always had Eli pegged as someone who uses “Mother” rather than “Mom”…like Buster Bluth.
January 26th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Motherboy XXX > Super Bowl XLII
January 26th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
“He’ll set you straight, like that year he might you sleep under the sink when you put the milk back in the fridge with only half a sip left.
AND THAT’S WHY YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE!
January 26th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Goof Troop = Wow
Talk about a flashback.
I have a Boy Fights tape with a Baby Eli feature.
January 26th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Seriously, Goof Troop?
Damn, son.
January 26th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
It was either that or Tailspin.
January 26th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Don Juan Demarco isn’t a grown-up movie?
January 26th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
O-E-O
January 26th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Tailspin > Goof Troop.
A “Naruto” ringtone? Wow…
January 26th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
It was either that or Tailspin.
You mean you didn’t consider Darkwing Duck? What about Duck Tales, you think Eli remembers that show? And didn’t it ever bother you that Launchpad McQuack was a character on both shows but somehow his life as Scrooge McDuck’s pilot was never brought up when he was Drake Mallord’s sidekick?
I can’t believe I still remember all this shit. Fuck my life.
January 26th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Blathering blatherskite
January 27th, 2008 at 3:20 am
We’ll call it, Operation Hot Mother.
Yeah, we gotta work on the name.
January 27th, 2008 at 8:47 am
like that year he might you sleep under the sink
I thought this blog was in English. Oh, it was written by Christmas Ape? Never mind.
January 27th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Jez, please translate. I can’t read Douche.