NFL Cheerleader Fictional Biography: Dulcinea
Dulcinea is a 22-year-old cheerleader for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Most of the time she enjoys her avocation, but she could do without the visits to the children’s hospitals. Children’s hospitals give her the blues.
To chase the blues away, Dulcinea invented a brand new game. She has played it many times with her boyfriend and her roommate Tanya. Once when she was bored, she played it with the Fed Ex guy. He told her she should copyright the game and sell it at the Spencer’s at the Orange Park Mall. Dulcinea isn’t too sure about that. She would hate for someone to get the wrong idea about her.
January 11th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Left ankle headboard
January 11th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Right hand rectum
January 11th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
2 girls 1 fist?
Seriously though, she sounds way less dangerous than Erin…
January 11th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
No, no no. Dulcinea was when all the continents were joined together.
January 11th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
This one isn’t nearly as cruel as the one on the poor Chargers’ girl. That was brutal.
January 11th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Dulcinea. Don Quixote or Toad the Wet Sprocket fan ?
January 11th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
not as cruel? apparently you didn’t see what the Fed Ex guy did on the blue spots
January 11th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Guess which side of the bed she sleeps on five days every month
January 11th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
I want one.
January 11th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
http://www.twisterduvetcover.co.uk/product.php?id=2
This might have just changed my life. They have them in the Amazon.com Marketplace, too, but the thought of buying one of these in any condition other than “brand spanking new” quite frankly terrifies me. How much is 29 pounds in real money?
January 11th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Do they make “Sorry” bedsheets for premature ejaculators?
/Not that I need one…
January 11th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I was the Fed Ex guy.
January 11th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
A female friend of mine had an annoying, unattractive friend who had a T-shirt with the Twister logo and the four colored dots below. I always wanted to go up to her and say “Right foot green!” and kick her in the chest.
January 11th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
suss, that was funny as hell.
January 11th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I’ll see your cheerleader and raise you three lesbians in lingerie!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnooUSYqaeM&feature=related
Imagine what they could do for Yahtzee.
January 11th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
@ futuremrs.
right now 1 pound equals almost $2 so about $47-48
January 11th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Unfortunately, 29 pounds is like $60. They wipe their asses with 10 spots.
January 11th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
wow yeah, i can’t do math, it’s friday, it’s late, i just wanna go home and drink
January 11th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
Ah yes… but Friday nights on the Twister bed? Can you really put a price on that?
Also, Grimey, you’re an evil evil bitch.
January 11th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
i’m sure silky garrard could put a price on it…and then you’d stiff him of that price as it is his understanding that you new englanders are unwilling to pay full price
January 11th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
@ futuremrs rick
depends if solo ($43.71) or with a pimp ($67.91), per act of course; which I am not sure if it is perspin….it may be negotiable. But, if you break down per hour, well, then it is $25.10 (solo) and $37.41 via a pimp.
/ not that I know this personally, but read about it in the paper, University of Chicago study on prostitution in Chicago.
January 11th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
I have to quit this blog… Everytime I see a post from futuremrs now I’m going to envision her with a left foot green, right foot red, and I have to leave and go visit wild-pornstars.com to finish off… Just when I thought I could escape porn websites they infiltrate my sports blog and pull me back in.
January 11th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Oh dear.
January 11th, 2008 at 6:30 pm
you’re safe now futuremrs, I just noticed the pictures of the kids on the nightstand to the left of the bed. Does make me feel like even more of a perv now though.. and don’t worry, I used a little Purell, and yes, AFTER the dirty deed…
January 11th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
(crickets)
January 11th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Why don’t you just take it easy there?
January 11th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Tanya is a cheating backstabbing bitch. You can find the game at the Spencer’s at Regency and the Avenues. She met the FedEx guy last week.
January 11th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Get the wrong idea? With a made up stripper name like “Dulcinea”? I don’t need to see the twister sheets to get that. Odds on her having a tramp stamp?
January 12th, 2008 at 2:04 am
Put your face in the pillow.
January 12th, 2008 at 3:29 am
See this is a really good example of a major problem in the United States, Foreign words that don’t come with a pronunciation guide, like how the hell do you pronounce this. Its just like au bon pain. Assistance please
January 12th, 2008 at 11:17 am
apparently you didn’t see what the Fed Ex guy did on the blue spots
Blue spots, eh? A little penicillin will clear that right up.