KSK Celebrity Pickkake: Stephen Hawking

This asshole does nothing but pick winners.

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Up next, it’s noted physicist Stephen Hawking!

HELLO.

HOW

ARE

YOU?

TODAY.

I AM FINE.

MY

FAVORITE

TIME

OF THE YEAR

IS

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY.

MY

FAVORITE THING

ABOUT

FOOTBALL

IS

WATCHING

THE PASSES

AND

THINKING

ABOUT

SUCKING TOM BRADY’S COCK.

IF

I

WAS

SUCKING TOM BRADY’S COCK.

I WOULD LIKE TO

CHEW IN A CIRCULAR MOTION.

OR

I WOULD LIKE TO

LAY

NAKED

IN THE STREET

AND.

GET.

GANG-BANGED LIKE A HOOKER WHO OVERDOSED ON HEROIN.

IN.

MY ASS.

AND FACE.

I WOULD LIKE TO

PICK

THE GIANTS

TO WIN

BY

TWO

TOUCHDOWNS

THIRTY.

FIVE.

TO.

TWENTY.

ONE.

IF

[John Madden's voice] Brett Favre

WAS

IN.

THIS GAME.

I WOULD LIKE TO.

STILL.

BE.

SUCKING TOM BRADY’S COCK.

THANK YOU.

GOOD BYE.

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36 Responses to “KSK Celebrity Pickkake: Stephen Hawking”

  1. Big Daddy Drew Says:

    Fitter, happier, more productive,
    comfortable,
    not drinking too much,
    regular exercise at the gym

  2. the great bambi Says:

    are those all things you’re avoiding?

  3. Big Daddy Drew Says:

    That too, yes.

  4. Phony Gwynn Says:

    Well, Hawking does look like a cat tied to a stick, driven into frozen winter shit.

  5. Captain Caveman Says:

    @the great bambi –

    I recommend less KSK commenting and more Radiohead albums

  6. Number 2 Says:

    Tasteless. You should be ashamed. Hawking is clearly a vagina man.

    http://flaminghomers.blogspot.com/

  7. Crazy Little Thing Says:

    BDD translated:

    Harder, better, faster, stronger. Th-tha-tha-that that don’t kill me, etc.

  8. futuremrsrickankiel Says:

    The ability to laugh at weakness = KSK

  9. Francois Leroux Speedskater Says:

    @ CC and BDD:

    Richard Cheese’s version is far more entertaining, at least for me.

  10. Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco Says:

    Radiohead and Daft Punk? Well, this is turning into quite the Eli Party isn’t it.

    /off to put strychnine the sbarro

  11. My Insignificant Life Says:

    @ future mrs….

    if you cannot laugh at weakness, what can you laugh at?

  12. Hank Says:

    In the words of Homer Simpson:

    “Larry Flynt is right!”

  13. Chip Fu Says:

    Dear MMP,

    We are happy to inform you that space has become available. We’ve reserved a spot in Circle #8, Bolgia 10. Let us know if this doesn’t suit your needs or if you’d like to discuss alternate accomodations.

    We look forward to meeting you on February 5th at 8:06 PM, 27 agonizing minutes after your unfortunate encounter with a garbage truck, and getting you situated in your new home.

    Regards,

    Satan

  14. Pemulis Says:

    still kisses with saliva?

  15. Phony Gwynn Says:

    a pig in a cage on antibiotics

    Hey, leave Deanna Favre outta this!

  16. MMP Says:

    @chip: Does Satan offer a turn-down service?

  17. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    DEAR KSK,

    I WANTED TO SEE YOUR UTOPIA, BUT NOW I SEE IT IS MORE OF A FRUITOPIA.

    MC HAWKING OUT, BITCHES.

    BOOM… SHAKA… LAKA… LAKA… LAKA…

    /A Brief History of Rhyme

  18. Suss Says:

    That was a great Dick Clark impersonation! Now do Steven Hawking.

  19. Otto Man Says:

    SHALL. WE. PLAY. A. GAME?

  20. Fried Yoda Says:

    NO.

    ELISHA.

    CAN.

    NOT.

    JOIN.

  21. Jelly B. Good Says:

    boy I miss Marmalard…

  22. Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective) Says:

    I having been waiting to use this forever, finally.

    Your theory of a donut shaped universe intrigues me. I may have to steal it.

  23. G Says:

    Wow,

    Go to hell, go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collecct $200.

    –still funny though

  24. TheNaturalMevs Says:

    Have fun in hell!

  25. Leaking Geek Says:

    Hi, MMP…

    Oh, Hi Satan…

  26. Ryan The Intern Says:

    MJD + water = MMP

  27. Chip Fu Says:

    @mmp: I’ll have to speak to the manager.

  28. dick_gozinia Says:

    Here’s my impression of Stephen Hawking with a hooker.

    SUCK.
    MY.
    DICK.
    SUCK.
    IT BITCH.

    Gracias Senor David Cross.

  29. Landru Says:

    Best. MMP. evAR.

  30. dlchambers Says:

    Yo, this one goes out to all you punk
    bitches who think the Hawkman is soft

    Stephen Hawking is crazy as f*ck!
    http://profile.imeem.com/dLRTYE/music/UZlJ0pWK/mc_hawking_crazy_as_fuck/

  31. bloodyhandedgod Says:

    That is just wrong. Like having Mother Teresa do an anal-bukkake-facial-gangbang video wrong.

    All wrong.

  32. Gern Says:

    Would it kill someone to fix his fucking teeth? We’re not in jolly old England.

  33. Christopher Says:

    Did everybody else read that to themselves in the electronic voice too?

    Just me? Ok.

  34. SlickBomb Says:

    Hey! Lego Steven Hawking.

    http://www.thelandsalmon.com/images/2008/January16thru31/stephen_hawking_lego.jpg

  35. Otto Man Says:

    Would it kill someone to fix his fucking teeth? We’re not in jolly old England.

    He teaches at Cambridge University.

    Which is located in….

  36. Brady's a douchebag Says:

    @bloodyhandedgod

    What’s wrong with Mother Teresa getting up and in every orifice from soneone like….oh Michael Strahan. He needs a bitch. He doesn’t like being someone’s bitch plus Mother T couldn’t talk back to him. If that’s too sick for you, Michael could make Jared from Subway his personal bitch as part of a Super Bowl commercial.

    PS Osi could shit on Jared while Michael does him with a footlong.

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