Welp, Looks Like SI Found a Replacement for Rick Reilly

Guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

A love letter to Brett Favre. Because what else would it be?

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26 Responses to “Welp, Looks Like SI Found a Replacement for Rick Reilly”

  1. Nelson Says:

    “I might tell a story about his dead-on imitation of Billy Bob Thornton’s character in Sling Blade . . . “

    I always assumed Billy Bob modeled his character after Favre.

  2. Crazy Little Thing Says:

    I love the photo caption:

    “Over the years King (left) has gotten to know the other side of Brett Favre.”

    Too easy.

  3. Hooks Orpik Says:

    Reading that article seriously made me feel like a total homo.

  4. Gourmet Spud Says:

    She only asked for one thing - to have her picture taken with Brett and me.

    Because like all little girls, she dreamed of growing up one day to marry the star quarterback, or the fat, middle-aged sportswriter.

  5. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    “It’s for your cock” he whispered sweetly

  6. Junker23 Says:

    Oh My God. I think PK thinks he and Favre actually dated for a while there.

  7. pain-ther fan Says:

    And at that moment I realized, that little girl, was me.

    PK is such a tool.

  8. Bstone Says:

    They got a kick out of Brett’s ordering the sliced ostrich, along with tenderloin of Texas antelope.

    Reading that in King’s soy-mocchiato voice is hysterical to me for some reason.

  9. Oops Pow Surprise Says:

    Well, that was terrifying.

  10. ben Says:

    I kept reading that waiting for the “and the time he totally wrecked me by that lake on Naboo” line.

  11. Captain Caveman Says:

    Is anyone else terrified that he remembers PRECISELY what Favre ordered for dinner ten years ago?

  12. The Big Picture Says:

    What King doesn’t tell you is that Brittany Favre, now 19, runs in the same circles as the Reid children.

  13. Bstone Says:

    @ CC

    Exactly. Anyone who didn’t jerk nightly to #4 would just say “He ate antelope”. And only because it fits with the story. The “sliced” and “Texas” adjectives are just flat out fucking creepy.

  14. DucTape Says:

    Granted, PK’s a huge tool… but having a man-crush on the best QB in the history of the league, who also happens to be a great human being, does not a ghey make.

    Either that, or I’m as gay as a bag of dicks.

  15. Gourmet Spud Says:

    @ pain-ther fan:

    Still laughing at that one.

  16. lost Says:

    Wilbon says: I’m not surprised that PK can readily provide a 9-year-old girl upon request.

    crazy little thing- I’m sure the caption editor knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote that

  17. LiarLidimew Says:

    PK: Get over here and get out of those Levi’s

    BF: There Wranglers!

    PK: Oh whatever you crazy, handsome, fool

    BF: There Wranglers dammit!

    PK: Ok, don’t angry Farvy

    BF: I am an everyday American, I like to play football in the backyard and wear my Wranglers. I thought you would know that after spending so much time staring at my ass dammit!

  18. Mike Says:

    As we speak, John Madden is crafting Favre a big red heart from construction paper.

  19. Hercules Rockefeller Says:

    31-24, Brett Favre. Never forget.

  20. Five Pound Bag Says:

    Good point, Herc. Brooke should have given him a lucky Vicodin instead.

  21. Real Men Eat Haggis Says:

    My WV was wsdidhg…my first thought was:

    Wimpy Sportswriter DID Hot Guy

    Then I forgot what I was going to say in the first place

  22. squishdeadfish Says:

    Anyone else get the feeling PK may have just straight-up fabricated this shit?

    “”Tell Brooke sorry,” he said with a wry smile. “I guess it wasn’t very lucky for me today.”" ???

    One thing I think he thinks: I think Peter King thinks he’s writing the last great American novel or something. The above comes from a scene where, having killed countless enemies using only his tough-but-gentle hands, Favre lies on the ground, mortally wounded. Romo, Brady and Brees, the 3 remaining FIVE QUARTERBACKS (Manning already died in a scene exactly identical to this one) are already lost from view, fighting more enemies on a neutral field in Wichita, Kansas (the only non-NFL city Peter can name). Despite Peter’s frantic mouth-to-penis resuscitation, Favre is fading fast. “Tell Brooke…sorry”, Brett says, his voice raspy and his load sticky. Peter drinks 8 or 13 $6 coffees to get it all out of his mouth, and then becomes the first person ever to fly on a plane next to a crying baby! (Aggravating!)

  23. Pat Says:

    I think the creepiest part is that he clearly kept the penny in his sock drawer (or worse!) for the past ten years.

  24. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    PK: “Hey Brett, nice game.”

    BF: “Thanks Pete; nice gunt.”

  25. Slash Says:

    Jebus, I could discern the man love from the first paragraph. The whole column might as well have been this:

    PK: Me love you long time… ZIP, SLURP…

    I don’t think Favre’s parents love him that much.

  26. e.boye Says:

    …and Stephen A thinks KSK is unqualified to publish…

    holy shit, Pete - take a look at what you just wrote, and ask yourself this question: “I wonder if Brett noticed that my press pass was hanging over Mr. MiniFarve… I hope he knows it was for him.”

    for your sake, Peter, I hope he did.

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