Mike Vanderjagt Has His Idiot Kicker Title Wrested Away
This is Garo Yepremian, former kicker for the ‘72 Dolphins, part-time Joe Garagiola impersonator, and the ra-ra retard who used Super Bowl VII as a showcase for his Brian Boitano-esque throwing style. Well apparently, Garo isn’t all too pleased with the Patriots going 16-0. And he still believes they have much to prove. And if anyone has a right to talk trash about the Patriots, it’s some shithead kicker who lucked into a spot on a undefeated Super Bowl team.
“We were the first ones to climb Mount Everest,” Yepremian said late Saturday. “If New England comes and does it, then they can be the second ones. But you usually don’t remember No. 2. I remember Sir Edmund Hillary was the first one to climb Mount Everest. I don’t remember who did it the second time. Do you?”
That would be Tenzing Norgay, the man who accompanied Hilary. Oh, and you’re an idiot. Go home and work on your bobbling technique, Garo. Or why not root for the Patriots now instead? After all, Patriot fans are completely insufferable douchebags who spend their days wolfing down cum-soaked fruitcake. I’m sure you’ll fit right in with them.
December 30th, 2007 at 10:35 am
If Garo challenges Gostkowski to a “Throw The Ball Backwards While Moving Your Arm Forward” contest, my money’s on the bald Armenian.
It’ll help balance the scales after Brady demolishes Griese in the “Bryant Gumble Sucks The QB’s Dick At Midfield” competition.
Then it’s down to Shula vs. Belichek in the world-class asshole coach tie-breaker.
December 30th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Tenzing Nor-gay. Heh.
December 30th, 2007 at 11:24 am
I’ve found that fruitcake being as dense as it is does not soak up cum adequately. Cum-soaked pound cake on the other hand… mmm, mmm, mmm, now them’s some gooood eats.
December 30th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Yepremian, Kardashian… are all famous Armenians jackasses?
December 30th, 2007 at 11:30 am
This just proves my theory that all of the ‘72 Dolphins have lost their minds. As if I needed more proof, this idiot goes to to say “I can’t say how I feel because they haven’t done it yet. If I had hair, I would look like Tom Cruise. But I don’t have any hair. They haven’t done it, so how I can I say how I feel?”
Wait, what? If you had hair you’d look like Tom Cruise? What the fuck does that even mean? If you had hair, you’d look like a dick, with hair
December 30th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Couldn’t you picture Brady and Belichick going on ESPN in 20 years when some other team is vying for perfection and they are the same old crusty fucks being whiny bitches about the whole scenario? Brady could talk about how much humble pie he ate, and Belichick could talk about how he sold his soul many years ago to achieve greatness.
December 30th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Dickey:
I don’t think the president of the united states will give a fuck when someone else goes undefeated. Oh, and Belichick will be dead.
December 30th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I’m not a Pats fan, by any means, but isn’t the “mountain” that Mr. limp-wristed idiot kicker referring to higher than it used to be? I mean, last time I checked, 19-0 is better than 17-0, right?
I heard Mercury “douchebag” Morris make the same analogy. If this Patriots team goes 19-0, it’ll be like they climbed Everest, knocking back the ‘72 Dolphis down to K-2, Denali, or Kilamanjaro status.
December 30th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Cum-soaked fruitcake! That’s exactly what I had for breakfast this morning. How on earth did you know?
Also: yay.
Ok that’s the only time, I promise.
December 30th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Hey look everyone, it’s the kicker who missed 13 field goals on a team that didn’t play a .500 team talking shit!
http://www.nfl.com/players/garoyepremian/profile?id=YEP415291
December 30th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
Oh, Garo, you may just be remembering the second expedition to ascend Mount Everest. Don’t forget those gay icons, George Mallory and Andrew Irvine, who may have died on the descent of their summiting Everest.
December 30th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Classy fellow. I’d ask how he can look at himself in the mirror after being such a jackass, but I guess a bald kicker best remembered for throwing a ball off the back of his head hasn’t had an easy time of that for a while.
The bright spot to all of this that Belichek is such an antisocial, bitter fuck that in 20 years he won’t even leave his house. He’ll be more tolerable than Shula simply because of his absence.
December 30th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Wow, big points to the associated dress for making Garo seem like way more of a prick than he already did.
December 30th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
“No, I asked for RUM-soaked fruitcake!”
/wah-wah-wah-WAHHHH
December 30th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Garo, Mt. Everest has grown since Mercury Morris snorted all of the snow on the peak. You’ll be forgotten like Ozymandias.
December 30th, 2007 at 6:57 pm
You couldn’t put up a real players point of view on this?
Fuck that bald bag o shit.
December 30th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
BDD,
Who’s your Tenzing Norgay?
/Coen Bros reference
December 30th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
Why hasn’t anyone broked Tom Brady’s knees yet?!?!?!
Drew – up that damned bounty for the playoffs.
December 30th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
A kicker who went 7-19 beyond 40 yards talking smack? Yepremian isn’t fit to polish Tenzing Norgay’s carabiner.
December 30th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
mmmmm i love me some cum soaked fruitcake
December 31st, 2007 at 9:10 am
I have just two words for him:
Buzz Aldrin.
December 31st, 2007 at 11:03 am
And if Gary had even less hair, he’d look like Dick Vitale.
May 3rd, 2008 at 4:41 am
Vanderjagt has not been signed, sadly, because the NFL is far too political. He has the best stats as a kicker and has not been signed. So what if he occassionally pisses team mates off; they play better angry anyway. You lame Indy fans can complain all you want about a missed kick; if it wasn’t for Mike the Colts would have never made it that far in the season anyway!
Let the stats speak for themselves and let the Vandys, Owens and other great (sometimes controversial) players play!!!!!!! With the exception of QB, there is no position more nerve-racking and challenging than the K; the QB and K are judged not by their many contributions to their team but by their last play.
Bring Vandy back…we could use the excitement and Denver could use this future Hall of Famer!
Feeling a little high on your bald ass Armenian self Garo? Vanderjagt is more of a kicker than you ever were…check the stats asswipe! Why can’t you guys leave the personality out of it and give Vandy the credit he deserves!!