KSK Mailbag: Joe Damato Is a Moronic A–Hole
Some first-class asshole named Joe Damato wrote into us regarding a satirical post in which we had a fictional David Garrard act as a pimp. Well, Joe noticed an inaccuracy in the post. He writes:
Here’s your quote:
“No? Good. Did you know officers, by law, have to answer that last question honestly? Isn’t that interesting? Now, if you don’t mind, I need to have Tiny here pat you down. TINY!”
Officers don’t. If they did, there would be no such thing as an “undercover” officer because numb nut criminals would say…”are you a cop?” and the cop would say “aw shucks…..ya’ got me!” There goes the whole idea of “undercover.”
Either go to law school or do some research….get your fat asses off of the couch and stop being ignorant.
Just a friendly reminder for whichever one of you douche bags tries to buy some blow or grass from a guy on the street. “Are you a cop?,” doesn’t work. Morons.
We suggested to Joe that if he can’t recognize satire, he should probably go ahead and hang himself. He replied:
If you can’t recognize accuracy, then you should keep doing whatever it is you are doing. Fucking morons.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
…
Wait. So…
…
What are we supposed to do again? Is it go to law school, do some research, or keep doing what we’re doing?
Hey Joe, guess who’s both the dumbest and the most righteous jackass to ever send us an angry email?
You are, asshole. I hope this is the first thing that pops up when someone Googles you. Merry Christmas, cocksucker.
Tags: Joe Damato is a knobgoblin, KSK off topic, reader feedback
December 20th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
“Boy, the Gay Mafia sure loves the readers!”
It’s called humor, Joe.
December 20th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I wlll now link to this from my blog to help out with that Google idea.
Anything to help KSK expose assholes (which is kinda funny considering the writers of KSK…but I digress).
December 20th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
It should also help if I mention Joe Damato here in the comments no? Thanks Joe Damato for all the helpful tips on cops not being able to lie.
You’re an idiot Joe Damato.
December 20th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
I wasn’t kidding
http://stupidangelos.blogspot.com/
December 20th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
That e-mail was almost as good as the angry one BDD got from that Pats fan a few months ago. I hope BDD has lost his virginity since then.
December 20th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
Btw, if you google his name, a porn director comes up….
December 20th, 2007 at 2:50 pm
If you want to be accurate, that picture doesn’t show the horse’s asshole.
/Joe Damato
December 20th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
P.S. And it would be a donkey, not a horse.
- Joe Damato
December 20th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_D‘Amato
Apparently he is also a famous Italian porn star… I am really not sure where to go with that.
December 20th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
They teach that in law school?
December 20th, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Joe likes his facts the way he likes his men. Cold and hard.
December 20th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports that Joe Damato recently had his vagina cleaned with a toilet brush and the diarrhea of a homeless man.
…
ESPN’s Chris Mortensen has now learned that Joe Damato was anally raped by the Baltimore Ravens. ESPN’s John Clayton also reports that Joe Damato is a twinkling cunt, and that the Cleveland Browns, Arizona Cardinals, Denver Broncos and Jacksonville Jaguars are all interested in servicing him.
December 20th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Was there any doubt you’d unleash Ufford on this poor bastard? Also, Joe, this damn verification thing spelled “mqueen” wrong. Recognize accuracy, dammit
December 20th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
What a douche bag.
December 20th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Wait…hold on. That was David Garrard?
I thought it was Leftwich.
::sigh::
December 20th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
You say to-may-to, I say to-mah-to.
You say Da-may-to, I say douchenozzle.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Good Christ, this guy mustn’t be too familiar with this blog or its commentors. Assuming he signed his real name, he’s likely in for a shitstorm of (deserved) bashing and harassment.
Fuck YOU, Joe Damato!
p.s. Whatever happened to the Ookie lady?
December 20th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
“Yup, these are your readers!”
December 20th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Obviously everyone at KSK is a middle school drop out and failure at life. Don’t you guys know that blogs should be unquestioned beacons of accuracy?
Thank God we have Joe Damato to correct you morons. Joe Damato you are clearly the sharpest mind the blogging world has to offer. Joe Damato, why don’t you drop by Garrard’s joint and get syphilis, on my tab?
Asshole…stop reading
December 20th, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Damn, I thought that was true. Almost bought blow with that info.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Why would you read the blog if you don’t understand the jokes? I dislike Joe Damato greatly. Joe Damato should fuck off and die slow.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:22 pm
“I hope this is the first thing that pops up when someone Googles you. Merry Christmas, cocksucker.”
I fucking love this blog.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
MY MAN JOE WAS JUST BACKIN’ ME UP!!!!!!! ACCRACY!
/STEPHEN A SMITH
December 20th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Stepehen A. Smith approves of Joe Damato’s ability to correct those of us in the blogosphere who are malicious and wreckless with their inaccurate details contained within the parameters of satire along with the inaccurate facts being promulgated by the ineptitude of the nontraditional media.
I however, say – fuck off Joe D’Amato.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
And in other news…
Water is wet.
The sky is blue.
Joe Damato is a self-righteous fuckstick.
Joe, from all of us on the internets, please go grab a nice steaming cup of shut the fuck up.
Back to you KSK.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Getting there…
http://www.google.com/search?&q=%22joe+damato%22
Now if you are more specific…
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22joe+damato%22+is+a+douche
December 20th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
Actually that’s the second thing you learn in law school. The first is that whomever smelt it has no, in fact, definitely dealt it.
It must be really confusing to have a very common name like Joe Damato. I mean, with all the thousands of Joe Damatos running around, how does Joe know when someone is referring to him? In all likelihood, there are Joe Damatos out there for whom the following is true:
Joe Damato can fit an entire traffic cone in his rectum, flat end first.
Joe Damato lost his testicles at age 4 in a freak Easy Bake Over accident.
Joe Damato is an expert in the laws of Evidence, having represented himself in numerous bestiality trials in Georgia, commonly referred to as the “Scoping the Monkey” trials.
Joe Damato subsisted for an entire year on nothing but the semen he was able to suck from discarded condoms.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
To the tune of “Silent Night”
Joe Damato
Joe Damato
suck my cock
give a good blow
spends his days complainin’ bout blogs
spends his nights blowin’ for egg nog
stick a cock in your aaaaa-ass
sti-ick a cock in your ass
December 20th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
Goddamn, I was looking for some ’70’s Italian porn and I found this site. What a tease.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Nobody fucks with the Gay Mafia.
December 20th, 2007 at 3:54 pm
Also, I guess we all now know what it takes to get your name published at KSK…
December 20th, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Must suck to be the Gay Mafia then…
December 20th, 2007 at 4:10 pm
“Hey Joe, guess who’s both the dumbest and the most righteous jackass to ever send us an angry email?”
Don’t ask Joe that, what a stupid question.
December 20th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Wait, wait. Why isn’t Joe’s email being publicly distributed for spamming purposes?
December 20th, 2007 at 4:34 pm
@bstone – I had it in the first draft. I decided to not show all my cards at once.
December 20th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
It seems it shows up in Livingston’s link if that is, in fact, the correct Mr. Damato.
December 20th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Hopefully this will forever place him in the glory of others who dare cross swords with the Gay Mafia.
http://add.urbandictionary.com/verify.php?code=1aeb3577c9&function=submit
December 20th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
What did his blackberry show as a return address??
December 20th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
@ capt. caveman
Good call. When he sends back the prototypical snobpile lawyer bullshit that involves something about “suing you for libel” then you really release the fucking hounds.
December 20th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
The guy in Livingston’s link looks too old to know what a blog is, much less operate a blackberry.
December 20th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
What does this guy have against mormons anyway?
December 20th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Hello folks,
You are using the name Moronic A-Hole for promotional items but must be unaware that my company has a registered trademark for that name. Therefore I am sorry but you should no longer use the name. I appreciate a response.
You can see our trademark Moronic A-Hole at http://www.joedamatolovesthecock.com
thank you,
Clasina Valkenberg
December 20th, 2007 at 5:00 pm
Not to piss on you people’s parade, but I have serious doubts livingston’s link is correct. Call it a hunch, but I doubt that a partner at a law firm – especially one who looks like the dude in that picture – is reading KSK, let alone emailing the Gay Mafia about points of law. Spam him if you want, but I think you’d be targeting the wrong guy.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Assuming that Joe Damato did NOT send that, then it is the greatest way to Eff with somebody EVAR (intentional misspelling for those that are dense.)
December 20th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Good one Lt. Winslow. Love the Valkenberg throwback.
If the aforementioned lawyer Damato, is the actual Damato, then it is guys like him who give lawyers like us, a douche name. (Did I say like us, I meant like other lawyers).
Yes, some partners at law firms read KSK.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
We’re gonna delete the Livingston link in case that’s the wrong JD. We don’t want to harass innocent people.
Just stupid innocent people.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
No offense, Livingston but we went ahead and pulled your comment. That’s not the same guy and we don’t want some white-shoe DC law firm on our ass because one of their partners is getting hate mail intended for someone else.
Other than that, carry on.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
So this guy’s really a lawyer and his rebuttal is “If you can’t recognize accuracy, then you should keep doing whatever it is you are doing. Fucking morons”? I really hope I come across this guy for my next DUI. Or public disturbance. Whichever comes first.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Good move flub. I’m sure you know partners are vultures who will happily crack the whip harder on their associate underlings just so they can devote their time to starting shit over something like this.
@pepster: I actually got three partners at the firm where I was a summer associate addicted to KSK. Though as far as I know, none of them have ever commented on here. And they were definitely not douchebags like Joe D’Amato appears to be.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
My mistake on that one. In hindsight, I hope 51 year old partners would be spending more time looking at two girls one cup in the office than shooting off know-it-all emails to someone that is not on staff. Writing from a law firm, an email like that still has all the markings of a lonely, early-year associate.
December 20th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
well i dont know – joe did kind of call bullshit – and that is bullshit.
fraid he kind of nailed you on this one, fair and square.
December 20th, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Joe Damato:
Douche
Fag
Piece of Shit
Racist
KKK
Child Molester
Homo
Punk Bitch
Pig Fucker
Motherfucker
Baby Raper
Old Lady Rapist
There. That should take care of some Google cross references for future cyber-stalkers of Joe Damato.
December 20th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Well, that didn’t really work as I had intended. Fuck it. At least I tried. Like Joe Damato tries to masturbate his asshole with baseball bats.
December 20th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
If you Google Joe Damato properly, KSK is third. Damn apostrophes. And Italian porn stars. Google hogs.
December 20th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Joe Damato-
Choke on a cock and die.
December 20th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
South Boston?
Yeah South Boston, who fawged yoah transcript?
December 20th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
I say we visualize ripping Joe’s nutsack off and shoving it on his head like a beret. What a floater in the toilet bowl of life.
Are we doing a google bomb? I love those things, especially for fucktards like Joe Damato.
December 20th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
Remind me never to cross you Dusty.
Or just make sure you’re always baked.
December 20th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Christ, I am baked now ;)I find my comments flow better when I read this blog stoned.
December 20th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
clamato>damato
and clamato fucking blows.
December 21st, 2007 at 2:09 am
@ken dynamo
no, you don’t get it either.
It was SATIRE. FUCK.
read it over and over again until you can wrap your head around that concept.
December 21st, 2007 at 11:05 am
Joe Damato learned everything he knows from “Manswers”
December 21st, 2007 at 11:39 am
Hey Joe Damato,
Nice job. Hope you gag on your perception how funny a douchebag you are.
December 21st, 2007 at 11:41 am
“Merry Christmas, cocksucker.”
…is exactly what appears on Bobby Knight’s Christmas card, just under the family photo.
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:01 pm
Joe Damato is a poopface