Cosplay Showdown: Tom of Finland Wet Dream vs. Hunched Over Colonial Williamsburg Employee. WHO YA GOT?
This Sunday’s game is billed as the last the Patriots have a legitimate shot at losing, even though they’re 10 1/2 point favorites and still have dried Tony Kornheiser spooge stains on their jerseys from last Monday. But in terms of gay mascots, Pat the prone Patriot may have finally met his match. Steely McBeam has been sculpting his pubic hair for months. He says there are some interesting topiaries down there. WHO YA GOT?
Steely McBeam____________Pat Patriot
Start a War, Start a Nuclear War
At the gay bar_______________gay bar GAY BAR
Guarantee
Happy ending___________Demonstration of 18th-century happy ending
Shameful Secret
Only around football for the dudes__Actually George Steinbrenner
Liabilities
Lovers thrown off by skin-colored shirt____Makes disappointing town crier
History
Hopefully none beyond this season___Don’t ask Pats fans, they didn’t like the team before 2001
Common greeting
Heyyyyy_________________Heyyyyyeth
Finishing move
Runs away to North Carolina with Bill Cowher____Shows Randy Moss an even gayer TD celebration than his current one.
NNNNNNOOOOOO, the urtard picked the Steelers, too.
 |
Tags: gay mascots, Homerism, new england patriots, pittsburgh steelers, who ya got?, xmas ape
December 7th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
New England is primed for an upset! I predict a big Steelers win!
December 7th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
I hate you.
December 7th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
Nice work, Xmas Ape. You’re a superstar.
A superstar, down at the…
December 7th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Winner gets Brady Quinn.
December 7th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Gay bar of choice
Rebar _______ FUBAR
And “Heyyyyyeth” was awesome.
December 7th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
If McBeam is still around next season I will be sore…
…ly disappointed.
December 7th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
I can’t decide if the old Buccaneers logo is gayer than either of these.
December 7th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Gayer than Ufford’s new preachy Preludes!
Pretty soon Leitch is gonna have to start hanging out with Eli on the lower east side and listening to Emo Christmas music and drinking PBR.
“I mean so terrible that its awesome but then so terrible that it’s just terrible and then you even think about it one more time because you can’t believe that shit exists but it’s still terrible, it’s like the only innovation that’s pure terrible, it’s like writing music that turned out to be airborn AIDS”
December 7th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Are you suggesting Pats fans and bandwagon fans? Nooooooo…
December 7th, 2007 at 4:09 pm
@tech n9ne:
You tell it! Writers should only do the same thing every time!
December 7th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
@dick_gozinia: I had nightmares about the creamsicle pirates coming to get me when I was a kid.
December 7th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
I’ve got something to put in you.
December 7th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
“Don’t ask Pats fans, they didn’t like the team before 2001.”
If I believed the Bible as strongly as I believed that statement, I’d be the freakin’ Pope.
December 7th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
@CC: Whoa Steven A, settle down, you’ll get your cheesypoofs
Unwashed masses likey:
(Step 1: Find something similar yet less heralded. Step 2: Declare less heralded thing better. Step 3: Add profanity. Step 4: Disagree? Douchebag!)*
Unwashed masses no likey:
the last few years of M*A*S*H. You know, when Alan Alda took over behind the camera and the show got all dramatic and preachy?**
*AND REPEAT!
**this entire comment was entirely plagiarized
December 7th, 2007 at 5:09 pm
/secretly thrilled CC kared enough to mock me.
//less secretely still bitter he saves his best shit for WL.
///most secretly concerned that thoughts like: Steely + Pat = a CC in mascot form, might make me a gay.
December 7th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Ufford, preachy? Get out!
December 7th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Does James Harrison know about the KSK bounty?
He seems like the type to enjoy a good giftbag.
December 7th, 2007 at 5:17 pm
hey give Pats fans some credit, we’ve been bandwagon fans since the Tuna drafted Bledsoe in 1993
December 7th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
4. Hines Ward’s will to win. The dude leads the league in it.
Fuck you PK
December 7th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
Oh, I don’t “save” my best stuff for WL. I’m just not talented enough to consistently produce here after trying to be funny all day long.
* key word “trying”
December 7th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
The urtard is also trying to give Purple Jesus a nickname. “Great Adrian.” I’m guessing that’s the name of someone on the Real World.
December 7th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
When the Steelers win this game, I hope you guys dedicate an entire post to mocking and taunting Patriots fans.
December 7th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
The only thing gayer than Steely Mc Beam is that lame WNBA-like Patriots logo on the helmets. Bring back that old logo or come up with something new.
December 7th, 2007 at 11:33 pm
C’mon Steelers don’t fuck this up like those bitch Birds and Ker-azay Birds.
SWEEP THE FUCKIN’ LEG. You see what the Bears did to Lionel Ritchie last night. OK do the same thing to Brady - just make sure we can see some bone when you’re done.
I’ll be watching…
Oh yeah and Cowboys 12-1.
December 8th, 2007 at 12:38 am
Unbelievable.
And some of you actually have the nerve to criticize PK and ilk?
The Pat’s aren’t going to lose a team that could beat them. No fucking way. Pat’s by 2 TD’s, and they’ll make the Burgerboy look stupid again.
December 8th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Post is 10/10 for the Electric Six referral. Best band in the world.
December 8th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Electric Six? I didn’t realize the KSK staff listened to anything remotely resembling hip.
December 8th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Steely McBeam would bend Pat the Patriot over and do horrible things to him. Steely, steely gay bar things.
December 9th, 2007 at 3:15 am
I’m praying for a tie.
December 9th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
You must have really rattled CC. He never splits an infinitive.
December 9th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
Well, that whole vulnerable Pats thing was fun while it lasted. Fuck this shit.
December 9th, 2007 at 8:54 pm
BDD: “New England is primed for an upset! I predict a big Steelers win!”
How’d that work for you, Big Daddy Smith?
December 9th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
FUCK
December 9th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
About as well as your irony detection, dipshit Mike
December 9th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
Nice comeback xmas ape, kudos dude.
December 10th, 2007 at 4:01 pm
“The whole steel industry’s gone gay.”
December 11th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Pittsburgh mascot Stiffy McBone looks like Bill Cow-HER
December 11th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
Mike ConVick is gonna play the meat whistle in the prison band.
December 11th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
OJ Simpson, aka, Prune Juice, is gonna be scrubbing nasty prison toilets for $1.27 per DAY — and Fred Goldman is gonna take ever penney!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!
December 11th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
OJ, aka Prune Juice, is Fred Goldman’s biotch.
December 11th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Yo, Prune Juice, what time it bees, my brutha? Oh, that’s right, Fred Goldman bitch-slapped yo punk ass and dun took yo Rolex!!
December 11th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
I asked Fred Goldman what time it was and he said: Time to bitch slap my bitch, Prune Juice.
December 11th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
OJ, aka, Prune Juice, is gonna be lapping up some gang banger’s ass gravy in prison.
December 11th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Yo, Prune Juice, dig this my senior citizen brutha: The only thing the young bruthas in prison know about you is that a cracker named of Fred Goldman bitch- slapped yo wrinkled ass in front of god and everybody!!
December 11th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
OJ, Michael ConVick, Mike Tyson…lock ‘em all up, but don’t throw away the key: Baroid Bonds is gonna need a place to lay his enlarged skull.
December 11th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
All these wannbe gangstas gettin’ BUSTED on the street…punk-ass bitches gettin’ kilt by the real deal…so let me ax you a question, my bruthas: How’s it all working for ya? How’s the no-father having, black-on-black killing, ebonics-talking, no-education thang workin’ for y’all?