Throwgasm!!!!!
11.11.07
I’m back, and I’m hornier than ever.
Look the fuck out, people. Hide your women and duct tape their vaginas shut. I got backload of seminal fluid that could flood Indonesia.
TAGS: Sex Cannon

I’m back, and I’m hornier than ever.
Look the fuck out, people. Hide your women and duct tape their vaginas shut. I got backload of seminal fluid that could flood Indonesia.
There are 28 comments about:
Very funny, permanent4. My dad’s name is Tom, and he was a pilot in Vietnam.
Kyle Orton’s neckbeard is gently weeping.
Jesus-fucking-Christ..duct tape the vagina’s? Won’t those suckers be useless for a couple weeks after that? Unless they get brazilian wax jobs..then its ok I guess.
@ Wormfather said…
Ufford’s a lot of people’s dads and he claims to no know about any of them.
Sounds like he used to play in the NBA.
Ufford’s a lot of people’s dads and he claims to no know about any of them.
smurphette: Wait, Ufford’s your dad? Does he know about this?
I’m grinning from ear to ear. This is undoubtedly the highlight of a shitty Bears season. Can’t wait to hear the Chitown homers discuss this on the radio. Is the FCC cool with the term Cumslinger?
I’mmmmm baaaAAAAAccckkkk.
[/jacknicholson]
YES
YES
OH GOD YES
I think he was only talking to Rachel Nichols when he said this, but it made the AP report on the game today:
“It was unbelievable, something you can’t describe to someone who hasn’t been in that position,” Grossman said. “It’s a great feeling to come in and be able to pull one out.”
Hopefully the triumphant return of the Sex Cannon will help me forget about the miserable displays I witnessed from the Colts and the Irish this weekend. (But I doubt it.)
* And here’s to my dad, Ufford, and all the other veterans and current members of the armed forces in heartfelt apprecation of your service and sacrifice.
I’m seriously considering a Sex Cannon sign for the game next Sunday. It’s be perfect for my endzone.
fo’ shizzle my nizzle! the pimp daddy mack-mack-daddy-daddy mack is back jack, and what the F^%$#^ are ya gonna dew about it, byatch.
Brex Griessman is our quarterback?
Looks like the Cum Slinger is playing for Indy right now.
The game was not televised here in IA. When I read the the recap on ChicagoSports.com and saw the cannon was back I knew I would see something like this. Way to go
Spooge-nami?
I’M BRINGING REXYBACK!
the first thing i did after i heard he was put back in the game was wonder how many cheerleaders he knocked up. and then i was even happier to find out we won. suck it oakland!
also, why was i supposed to care about the cowboys-giants game when i could have been watching the sex cannon?
The King is back.
Seattle will not get a break.
One touchdown
Four Raiders cheerleaders knocked up.
All in a day’s work for the Slinger.
grossman to cedric benson is the new peter north/ron jeremy double team.
I now know how Arnold felt in Junior
It is a Sex Cannon Tsaumani….there were no survivors, only many satisfied.
I have never been as excited as when I saw the Cannon was back in the NFL, and that the Cannon beat the Oaktown Raiders.
Men and Women of Oakland are advised to wear full-body condoms for the next 6 to 8 weeks.
Men and Women of Seattle, you are under a Throwgasm Watch. Conditions are favorable for a Steamy Throwgasm in the next 6-10 days.
VIVA LE SEX CANNON!
OMG…a 59 yard TD pass???? I think my daughter just got knocked up from the sex cannon again.
First conquest? Owners who started Greg Olsen and lost by one…fucking…point.
Good to have you back, Rex.
Duct tape cannot stop the Cannon’s sperm.