The top two seeds in the AFC last season are barely hanging onto faint playoff hopes with only a few weeks remaining in the regular season. When heads eventually roll, they’ll probably bear the visages of these two clowns. Likely, incompetence will emerge Hydra-like from the stumps. In the meantime, we can find out who’ll be king of the unemployment line in the offseason. WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Brian Billick_______Norv Turner

Springboard to head coaching job

1998 Vikings_________’91-’93 Cowboys

Favorite stench

Own farts_________Failure

Thanksgiving experience

Changing recipes, chiding family for disliking the results___burning cereal

Hero

Ronald Reagan_____________Ronald Raygun

Excuse for losing

Gameplan perhaps too brilliant____________Marmalard

All they want for Christmas

BOOT! BOOT! BOOOOOOOT!_______________Journey album

Finishing move

Condescension toward doubters______Getting hired by another team