While Dolphins fans are near orgasmic at the thought of a forfeit victory, the rest of us are bored shitless by the delay in starting the game tonight. Here’s something to idle away the hours while waiting for these clowns to fix Heinz Field’s latest drainage fiasco: Philip Rivers telling home fans to shut up during an early rough patch in the Charges 32-14 over the Ravens. We hear those hardboiled, cynical San Diegans can be downright brutal on a shrinking violet like Philip.

Man. Up. Nancy.