No Country For Crappy Quarterbacks
Welcome to the Week 11 edition of Always Be Covering. Last week was not good times…no, not good at all. So yeah, we’re closing in on the one week mark and I’ve built up more pressure than Javier Bardem’s cattle gun.
Moving on, let’s take a look at this week’s best offerings. As always, I’m a genius and you should feel compelled to do whatever I tell you. I swear I’ll start winning again one day (this is much harder than the NBA).
Arizona +3.5 at Cincinnati
Risking 30 to win 25
Oh that cute, the Bengals are giving points against a team that’s not the Ravens or the Jets. Cinci is falling apart faster than Umuofia and Chris Henry’s stabilizing influence only goes so far.
St. Louis -3 at San Francisco
Risking 27.5 to win 25
Holy crap, the Niners are fucking abysmal. The Rams aren’t all the way back but I’d take a team of crippled deaf midgets coached by a 12 year-old hepatitis ravaged whore as long as they were playing Alex Smith Trent Dilfer.
On a final note, while I am precluded from betting against my Redskins (especially during Dallas week) that does not mean you should abstain. Without Sean Taylor and Santana Moss the Redskins are walking into a slaughterhouse filled with smallpox.
…ok, I mailed this one in a bit. But I was busy seeing No Country For Old Men last night. I’ll tell you what I thought of it as soon as I read TBL’s review.
Tags: Always Be Covering, Fuck Dallas, jinx jinx jinx, Unsilent Majority
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November 16th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Javier Bardem makes for a scary psychopath. Parts of the book that were left out made the movie less exciting than it could have been.
Three throwgasms?
November 16th, 2007 at 11:42 am
UM – I’m really hoping that you don’t catch fire with your bets this month. If the key to gambling success is no masturbation…I can’t quite think how that would turn out…but I don’t think it’d be pretty…
November 16th, 2007 at 11:48 am
sorry qs- i feel a run coming on
November 16th, 2007 at 11:53 am
If the rule you followed brought you to a month without precious masturbation, what good is the rule?
November 16th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Mind ridin’ bitch?
November 16th, 2007 at 11:55 am
He’s no Benicio of the Bull.
November 16th, 2007 at 11:57 am
That’s a dead dog.
*points to UM’s crotch*
November 16th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Drew –
http://youtube.com/watch?v=BnUFPWPOiEc
Sorry I know it’s shit quality but you get the idea.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Kurt, just go ahead and leave. Anyone who gives No Country fewer than five throwgasms has no business reading a football blog.
Dilfer’s starting for the Niners, btw. Not that it really matters.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
So the movie was good. Javier Bardem and his gun are interesting. There could have been a little more talking, but it was good.
-TBL
November 16th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Unfortunately the Rams won’t be playing Alex Smith this week, they’ll be playing Trent Dilfer, which means the crippled deaf midgets could set a record for sacks, picks and fumbles recovered…
November 16th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Sugar?
November 16th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Is that what you’re asking me? Is there something wrong with anything?
November 16th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
fine, Dilfer blows too
bryan- +1
November 16th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
No movie was ever improved with more talking.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Redskins: We’ve still got a fighting chance. There’s no way any team can end our season with seven weeks left.
Cowboys: It took me three hours.
November 16th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Kurt, to follow up on Smurphette’s gag, “You don’t know what you’re talking about, do you?”
What the hell do you want them to do, film every line of the book?
CC says to pack yer shit and leave. I agree.
November 16th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
You guys are awful catty for guys who talk about sports all the time.
They cut out half a firefight when they adapted the script and removed under 90 seconds of dialogue that explained how Chigur got arrested in the first place.
If you’ve read the book you’ll know what I’m talking about. If not, then fuck you for not appreciating the movie enough to want to read the book.
Banned in 5, 4, 3….
November 16th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
I’m actually halfway through the book now. So chill out.
November 16th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
don’t worry kurt, they were just being curt.
i’m waiting on somebody to finish the book so i can snag their copy.
November 16th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
UM: Redskins actually have a chance on Sunday…
Nah, I’m just bullshittin’ you, they’re goin’ down faster than Clint on Quinn’s dick before the draft.
Cowboys 37-17
November 16th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
What about the GAY Mafia means they shouldn’t be catty?
November 16th, 2007 at 3:29 pm
More recommended reading from Cormac McCarthy:
“Blood Meridian”
Perhaps the most violent book I’ve ever read. Could never be made into a film – instant NC17 rating for violence.
“The Road”
Perhaps the most depressing book I’ve ever read, but amazing nonetheless.
November 16th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
UM — You should go double-or-nothing on this week’s game. I mean, what is two months without masturbating if you’ve already made it through one month? On the other hand, you could be back in the saddle Sunday evening.
November 19th, 2007 at 7:43 am
I really hope you all actually put money behind that Cowboys bet. Certainly took the sting out of defeat for me today.
<--Took the Redskins to cover.