As you may know, our pal Peter King likes to insert a section called “Ten Things I Think I Think” into his regular column. This week we’ve decided to raise the bar. Why post what PK thinks he thinks when we can post what we think he thinks he will be thinking on Sunday? If you just took a bong hit you might want to reread that sentence.

a. Who is Domino’s trying to fool with this Oreo pizza? Listen up folks, the word “pizza” implies cheese. So until you put some mozzarella on that cookie you’re just kidding yourselves and wasting our time.

b. The only thing better than sausage wrapped with bacon is Brett Favre wrapped with Tony Romo.

c. If Norv Turner doesn’t right the ship people might start losing faith in his leadership abilities.

d. I bet Marty Schottenheimer could figure out what’s wrong in San Diego.

e. The Giants may not have any cheerleaders, but that Olivia Manning is one handsome woman.

f. I’ll take Mike Vrabel over Randy Moss any day of the week. The guy plays both ways!

g. Best college town in American? No contest, it’s Hamilton, New York.

h. I’d love to see the casting call for this Cavemen show on ABC. I mean, how many caveman actors could there possibly be in this day and age?

i. Canadian bacon is better than ham. There, I said it.

j. If Arnold Palmer gets credit for mixing iced tea with lemonade then you might as well call an eggnog Bosco macchiato a Peter King.

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You know, I enjoy writing up some good PK parody, but sometimes we should leave things to the master…
b. I love Amtrak more. It is more addicting, especially traveling through a heavy snowstorm, as I did Saturday afternoon after a quick New Jersey dogcheck on Bailey the golden retriever. (She was fine, by the way, very happy to do what she loves best on the planet, which is retrieving a tennis ball in the snow until she drops.) You keep wanting to say to the conductor, “Slow down! You’re going too fast!” Until you realize you’re on rails, not a road. For a while through the driving white haze, I felt like a character on Murder on the Orient Express.

Yep, that’s the man himself. He’s a constant source of inspiration.