Suzy Kolber Was Kissed, Then Inseminated
Pro Football Talk, which is always right about these things, is spreading the rumor that Matron Saint Suzy Kolber is preggers or with child, or whichever other gormless idiom you use for pregnant. I prefer germinated. It sounds less appealing that way.
See, Suzy, you start hanging around NASCAR and, before you know it, you’re having kids out of wedlock. Sure, ESPN’ll be cool with it at first, provided you name the kid Norby or Norba, then tighten up afterwards. They’ll have the finest vaginoplaster money can buy.
PFT hears it’s a girl, no doubt bound to be thick in the britches. But what of the name? JET Kolber? Turtleneckesta? Chevy Tahoe, Jr.? You decide, commenters.
UPDATE: We have an idea who the father is…
Tags: children are our future unless we stop them, matron saint, No one names their kid woody anymore, patron saint, xmas ape
October 17th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
Kendra Samantha Kolber?
October 17th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Lawrence Taylor Kolber. Boy or Girl.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Who’s the father? Michelle Tafoya*?
*to be honest, I think Michelle Tafoya is a “handsome” woman.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Rex Grossman doesn’t like you publicly criticizing his work…
October 17th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Immaculate Conception Kolber
October 17th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Joe Willie?
October 17th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Pam Ward has finally sown its seed
October 17th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Candle Kolber if its a girl.
Stock Kolber if its a boy.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Is Joe Namath drinking again?
October 17th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Koko Kolber ?
October 17th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Fridgefullof Kolber?
October 17th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Is that the officially licensed Jets fallopian filler?
October 17th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
This has Travis Henry written all over it
October 17th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Neckbeard Kolber-Orton.
October 17th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Brady Kolber
October 17th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
Colbert Kolber
Kim Su Yi would be hilarious if it’s asian and a leeetle slow.
/here’s to wishing mental handicaps on the unborn for a KSK joke.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:41 pm
Nice Saddle Kolber if its a girl
October 17th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
PK, Jr Kolber?
*shudder*
October 17th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Wikipedia says Kolber’s 43. I know stranger things have happened, but how sure are we about this?
October 17th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Broadway Jeebuz of Blogereth
October 17th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Drew.
October 17th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Squintin’ Portis Kolber
October 17th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
Miss Mixalot Kolber
October 17th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
@tech9 – Dude she is already 43. Wishing for mental handicaps on her child is a waste. Thats like me wishing for sunlight in Arizona tomorrow, its a given.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
No one has brought up that maybe the Golden Boy Tom Bady is involved. Not like hes always been a saint.
October 17th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
if it’s a boy: Sex Cannon Jr., if it’s a girl don’t they throw it off a cliff or something?
October 17th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Construda Kolber
October 17th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Sex Cannon Kolber
October 17th, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Tony Kornheiser
October 18th, 2007 at 12:44 am
Throw it off a Cliff Kolber wins.
October 18th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Whatever, either sex, as long as the initials are K. S. Kolber
October 18th, 2007 at 8:17 pm
After my wife got herself knocked up, I liked to say that she was hosting a parasite. That this is true from a physiological perspective didn’t make her hate me any less.
October 19th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Chris Berman. Chris Sperman?
October 14th, 2008 at 2:44 am
“Colbert Kolber”
That’s it, poll closed.