Now that most teams in the league have already played a quarter of their regular season games, you’d think all the concealed desires and suppressed thoughts would have come out in the wash by now. Not so. If this week’s NFL PostSecret is any indication, there’s far more where that came from.
As always, a tip of the emo bangs to those mopey groaners over at the real PostSecret blog.
Special Not-So-Secret: Yours truly will be running the Chicago Marathon this weekend. That’s right, it was so enjoyable destroying my body in grueling, tiresome, scarcely rewarding ways that I’m doing it one more time. Longtime readers of KSK may recall the misfortune that befell the aftermath of that first marathon. No, it’s still not funny.
This is my first trip to the city of the big shoulders. If you have any suggestions about shit I should see or a place to drink my dehydrated self blind while watching Sunday’s games, let me know. I’m staying above Ditka’s Restaurant. Perhaps that’ll do.
At least a dead someone is wishing me luck.
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Hi Ape. I heard you died in the marathon. I personally apologize for the global warming that caused it to be 88 f’in degrees in chicago in october. It would’ve been tolerable, but I used aquanet heavily in 1988. Damn you CFCs!!!
Hottest. Marathon. Ever.
Matilda’s (Sheffield and Barry). Low on fratbags, high on jukebox.
My girlfriend is heading up form Texas to Chicago to run the marathon too. Look for her, she’ll be easy to spot. She’ll be blondish chick running with the blondish chick.
Good luck not bleeding from the nipples!
Then once I finish the race, the first place I end up afterwards is where I’ll pass out from drunkenness or exhaustion.
I hear that Wrigleyville is the safest place for that.
I’m sure if you pass out on N. Halsted, some nice young man will take you in.
Good luck with that Sub-3.
If you get it I’ll hope your legs fall off and you are forced to watch the Steelers be mediocre for years to come. I’m still working on fucking Sub-4
Hot Doug’s has the best sausage around. Period.
No homo.
Run Forest, Run!
Then once I finish the race, the first place I end up afterwards is where I’ll pass out from drunkenness or exhaustion.
I hear that Wrigleyville is the safest place for that.
You must go to Billy Goat’s. It’s the source of a curse and an SNL skit.
For pizza–Lou Malnati’s or Gino’s.
Superdawg Drive-In for hot dogs.
My brother-in-law’s deli, Augustino’s Rock and Roll Deli, 233 South Wacker Dr. The best Italian beef sammich you could hope for.
Best of Luck in Chicago. I know a bunch of other folks who are running it.
Good luck Ape – you’ve got to wear a Sex Cannon shirt and have someone take some photos of the drunken debauchery after the race.
So many options.
What sucks is that I won’t be able to drink my first two days in Chicago because I’m preparing for this stupid race.
Then once I finish the race, the first place I end up afterwards is where I’ll pass out from drunkenness or exhaustion.
It’s been a while , but I remeber having a decent time at Kincade’s in Lincoln Park. decent sports bar and a good amount of tail.
Please tell me youre gonna be wearing a special sex cannon running jersey. I’m already going, so you’ve got to give us something to look for.
Its October and October is good for 2 things.
1. Slutty girls dressing slutty on Halloween.
2. Octoberfest.
Go to the Chicago Brauhaus in the Lincoln Square neighborhood. The girls all dress in Bavarian costumes and you can drink out of a giant glass boot.
Good times.
Good luck in the marathon…I’ll be at home drinking and taking random naps.
I’ll see you in Chicago. I’ll be the slow, fat guy smoking a cigarette at the starting line (really).
Ufford makes one ugly Eli. Or is it that Eli makes an ugly Ufford.
I mean, they should not swap faces.
Wicker Park. Midnight. There can be only one.
-Magilla Gorilla
Just remember it’s okay to poop your pants…well, it’s not technically okay, but in what other situation will shitting yourself actually make people feel sorry for you?
That is, other than being a retard, of course.
Good luck Ape. I hope you finish in 3:10:59 or better so that you too will get to wake up at 5AM next April 21st and get on a bus to Hopkinton, MA for another three hours or so of misery.
Eat a lot of fettucini alfredo before the race. It’s called carbo loading.
im still in the marine corps…and i dont even run the damn m.c. marathon. good on ya for pushin through these marathons, but you wont be seeing me out there.
and yes, do NOT forget the nipple tape.
Eli would like to know if you can give him Ufford’s arm too.
Good luck Ape. Don’t forget to protect your nipples.
Then go drink at Gingers.
actually, it says “Stop Pre”
Im sure that shirt really says “Stop Grape”, damn grapes.
My God, the one with me and Eli is horrifying.