We’re proud to announce that despite a complete lack of computer skills we’ve managed to hack into Peyton Manning’s e-diary! Here’s the first of what will hopefully be many in a look at the little girl living inside the man.
October 19, 2007
Can you believe that Ashley just tried to have sex with me?
Like I told her on our wedding night, only one woman touches Pey-Pey and her name is Mom. I have sex with my wife the same way I have sex with you Mr. Diary, by busting a perfectly straight line down the spine. I’ve got control like Julia Child with a pastry bag, once a year I even write Happy Birthday on her back (I can’t get full release when those boobs are bouncing all over the place). But seriously, she should know better by now; sex with women is number three on my list of fears behind Hillary Clinton and ghost dads.
Here’s a list of5 things I’d do before putting Pey-Pey inside of a woman’s kitty cat…
1. Have gay relations with a cute little country music star
2. Defer any credit to Jim Caldwell
3. Quit acting
4. Call a real audible
5. Beat Florida
I don’t see what more she could possibly want from me. One time I even let her get a glimpse of Pey-Pey and the twins. That was the first time I conducted a public viewing since the thing with the whorish trainer at UT.
Gotta run to practice…big game on Monday Night! TTYL!
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.