Praise be! The Lord’s favored football disciples are rewarded by being on winning teams. Tony Dungy’s Colts are 4-0, Shaun Alexander’s C-Hox are 3-1, and facing off this week are Jon Kitna’s surprising 3-1 Lions and Joe Gibbs’ 2-1 godless sun worshipers. Of course, God’s linebacker, Ray Lewis, is holding everybody back with the Ravens’ disappointing 2-2 start, but he’s been known to stray from time to time, anyway. Jesus’ love is on the line. WHO YA GOT?

Contestants

Jon Kitna_________________Joe Gibbs

Worships

Healing God ________________Vengeful God

Worshiped blindly by

Peter King_____________Fatuous Redskins fans

Alternative career

Project Mayhem participant____________NASCAR team owner

Sinister force pulling the strings

Matt Millen_________________Dan Snyder

Goals for season

Win 10 games______give Brandon Lloyd that old time religion

Sacrament

Piece of the true cross___________Understanding of game as it was played in Biblical times

Finishing move

Same: