Ocho Cinco. "A Disgusting Act." WHO YA GOT?
Though the matchup this Monday night hardly seems in doubt, what with Rudi Johnson ruled out and the Bengals’ defensive unit only showing up as a formality, if at all. That doesn’t mean we can’t comment on this special showdown of intransigent receivers. So, America, WHO YA GOT?
Chad Johnson__________________Randy Moss
Stats
442 yds., three TDs_______________403 yds., five TDs
Catch phrase
HUGH!________________Straight cash, homie
Alienates fans by:
Importing Spanish, however incorrect, in his nickname, Ocho AMERICA ZERO!____________Slacking off
Sympathetic to Kevin Curtis’ struggle?
No________________________Fuck nah
Inspires lyrics from:
Ryan Parker_______________________Outkast
Favorite hipster FroYo chain
Kiwiberri________________________Pinkberry
Daring feat
Leapt into Dawg Pound_______________Played for Raiders
Can outrun:
A horse_________________His demons
Finishing Move
Whatever it is, it’ll be covered exhaustively by ESPN______Same amount of coverage, just with more scolding
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Tags: bad MS Paint, cincinnati bengals, jinx jinx jinx, new england patriots, who ya got?, xmas ape
September 28th, 2007 at 10:59 am
Thanks for putting that Outkast song in my head for the rest of the day.
I have both guys on one fantasy team. Chad Johnson + Randy Moss = not paying attention to Larry Johnson blowing goats.
September 28th, 2007 at 11:08 am
I had Pinkberry for the first time a month ago.
It’s dogshit.
September 28th, 2007 at 11:33 am
Oh, and New England by 30.
September 28th, 2007 at 11:39 am
I believe the Bengals should recruit Alabama Man to shore up their shoddy D.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=1TAvLL77eHw
As much as it hurts me, Golden Boy 35 - Ocho Cinco 14
September 28th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
I’ll take Moss.
I need help to see how many parking attendants I can runover in a day, then trying to break that record.
September 28th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I had the opportunity to pair Ocho and SCH on the same team. I got Ocho… and Lee Evans.
Yeah, fuck you Lee Evans.
September 28th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Hey, I know everyone is all over the Bengals, but they could put up a few touchdowns this week.
Final Score: 105-24, New England. Yeah I’m thinking the Patriots will have an off game.
September 28th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Do you think this game can just end in a tie?
September 28th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
The real bet is how many cheerleaders does Tom Brady impregnate before halftime. I’m putting my money on “all of them.”
Also, does anyone else besides me find it amusing his kid’s initials spell out the team he kicks the shit out of twice a year?
September 28th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
@ Jedd:
That ain’t shit. Next kid he should name Meadowlands.
/Chipper Jones
September 28th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
I stopped paying attention when I scrolled down and saw the Texans cheerleader’s camel toe. Now I’m playing with myself.
September 29th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Either this is the wrong post, or Stephen was looking at Randy Moss’s “camel toe”.
Sorry.
September 30th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
Wrong post. But Moss does have a nice camel toe, and a tight lil’ bum, too.