KSK Kickoff Special: NFL Family Circus Caption Contest

Alright people, it doesn’t get any easier than this. Let’s hear your best captions in the comments.

UPDATE: We’ve opened a late group for the KSK Suicide Pool. Same link, ID#: 27548, pw(latelate). If you’re already in a group, stay the fuck out or I will hunt you down and fill your asshole with sharpened pencils. -MMP


Thus far, the first annual KsK Kares Charity Drive for Fisher House has raised over $500 for disabled veterans and their families. You can donate directly to FH here.

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41 Responses to “KSK Kickoff Special: NFL Family Circus Caption Contest”

  1. Crazy Little Thing Says:

    What do I look like, Buddy Fucking Ryan?

  2. naptown drew Says:

    Yeah, Tom Brady just impregnated your Mommy. Go get the vacuum.

  3. twoeightnine Says:

    Bring this doggie out back to Uncle Mike, he’ll know what to do .

  4. douglas Says:

    That’s what I said to your mother when I learned she was pregnant with you..

  5. Derrick Says:

    Is it time to play Dr. Brownfinger, Daddy?

  6. Matt Says:

    Actually, there’s a nice high school girl over there. But I’m taking her to prom, so FUCK OFF!!

  7. Clarett's Bail Bonds Says:

    Take this purple double dong back to your mother, tell her Fred Smoot sent it last week.

  8. Grimey Says:

    Now that you mention it, Ray Lewis did leave a Ginzu 2000 a half inch deep into my kidney….

  9. peytonloveskenny Says:

    “Well, Peter King did mistake me for Tony Romo last night, and…well, let me show you.”

  10. dick_gozinia Says:

    Who do you think you are, Danny Fucking Baugher…talkin’ to me like that!

  11. Undead Zombie Horde Says:

    “Yeah, lets give a snip to the ol’ vas deferens so I do have any more of you lil’ shits runnin’ around….goddam kids.”

  12. My Hero Zero Says:

    “The rest of Chris Simms’ spleen!”

    -Jon Gruden

  13. ManifestInvesting Says:

    C’mon Belichick, his leg is *broken*, I can’t flag it as questionable on the injury report! You can beat me with your hoodie, but I’m not doing it!

  14. Wormfather Says:

    It’s LJ, he’s been Hermed.

  15. "Hot" Carl Monday Says:

    The knife Tiki Barber stuck in my back.

  16. Johnny Ishkabibble Says:

    That’s the last time I let Ray Lewis near the cutlery…

  17. Illegal Immigrant Says:

    Yea, Mike Vick came over, so say goodbye to Fido and throw him in the trash.

  18. J.L. White Says:

    Yeah, get Lance Briggs out of the house, before the police shows up and test his BAC levels.

  19. doug_plank Says:

    “Yeah, Eli Manning’s tongue.

    Ever hear of a rusty trombone, son?”

  20. lieutenant winslow Says:

    every time you get drunk you make me wear this. i look like laveraneus coles to you motherfucker?

  21. Neil Says:

    Yeah, Leonard Little dropped something off last night. Go grab the shovel.

  22. Barney Says:

    Yeah, get the wet/dry shopvac. That’s “Rexstacy Sauce” your standing in. And have you seen your sister?

  23. Open Bar Says:

    Yep, Sex Cannon’s cock from Mommy’s two-hole! Hop to it!

  24. Babydaddy Says:

    If you don’t pipe down until the game’s over, you’ll be surgically removing my size 12 Florsheim from your Underoos. Scram, junior.

  25. iamuda Says:

    Yeah. Get the Vikings on that boat, head down to Newport News and get those, uh, packages from Mr. Vick. You might want to swing by Chicago to get Tank Johnson for some muscle. But, whatever you do, stay the hell away from New England. Brady might get someone or something pregnant.

  26. Awful Chief Says:

    Go ahead and take lil’er lil’ Ronnie out of “Fuck da Eagles”. She’s had enough tonight.

  27. Jackin'4Beats Says:

    Take off that queer doctor’s outfit, you look like Brady Quinn at a wedding reception.

  28. Snowmanco Says:

    I begul shitting, and then I washed mah ass, then I lost the construda. Can you take a look and see if you can find it?

  29. Corey Says:

    Nah….I asked for a sexy Rexy fastball and that’s what I got.

  30. Chris Says:

    [insert Brady Quinn's rampant homosexuality joke HERE]

  31. J.L. White Says:

    “Yeah, the trash. Careful, it is as pungent and rotten as the New Orleans Saints offense was tonight against the Colts!”

  32. vitustinnitus Says:

    Jerry Jones.

  33. CW aka Chad Sexington® Says:

    Don’t try to distract me. The fuck lion’s coming out, I don’t care what your counselor says is “OK.”

  34. Ken Dynamo Says:

    Yes, the service charges added on to the price of these god damn tickets. what a fucking rip off.

  35. gatorphish Says:

    Fuck off hydrohead – the gerbils are nesting.

  36. S Says:

    Have you ever seen a grown man naked, Johnny?

  37. dick_gozinia Says:

    Man, Fuck Dat Spider!

  38. Chamomiles Davis Says:

    “Why yes, son: Mommy’s hand from my fucking wallet. She’s been taking her gambling tips from Bill Simmons again.”

  39. Marty Says:

    “Who has a thumb and loves blowjobs?”

  40. Son of Geo Metro Says:

    Al Davis just canned Lane Kiffin for being too old, so take off that fucking outfit and get your ass over there for an interview

  41. Don't Call Me Shirley Says:

    ..yeah, you can take yourself out back to the shed. I made a bet with Brady Quinn and..well I lost. Prepare to become a man, son. Sorta.

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