Sweet mother of baby Jesus, praise Xenu it’s midnight. It is now Thursday. That means that before this day is over, we’ll all have suckled at the delicious teat of Roger Goodell’s bosom, as America’s Team 2.0 visits the Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Mickelsons Colts.

To commemorate the experience, I searched all of Google Images and Flickr for the single hottest picture of Colts cheerleaders I could find. Here it is:

Naw, I’m playin’. But seriously, Indy: y’all got some busted-ass cheerleaders. I understand the “Colt” theme and all, but hiring horse-faced cheerleaders is taking it a bit too far. Let’s try this:

That’s better. Plus it fits with our support-the-troops Fisher House theme this week. Even if these slobs are slummin’ it up by getting fat in the Army, they’re still bravely serving our country.

So, what are you gonna do until the game starts? You sure as shit ain’t thinkin’ about work. May as well click that browser “refresh” button, because — much like Sunday Night Is Football Night — Opening Day Is Bukkake Day.

This week, we’re holding the first annual KsK Kares Charity Drive for Fisher House, which supports disabled veterans and their families. You can donate directly to FH here.