The Amber Alert was issued shortly after this picture was taken.

Fast facts about the Tennessee Titans

Vince Young has a rose tattoo for each special woman in his life. He also has a corndog tattoo for every teammate he sucker-punches in training camp. (Seriously dawg, sticking up for a valued teammate is one thing, risking your season over a spare like Courtney Roby is just dumb).

Bud Adams was close to firing coach Jeff Fisher after last season, but changed his mind when Fisher agreed to grow a beard and pretend to be Wolfman Jack for a week.

The bad news for Titans fans: your team lost their leading rusher and receiver from last season. The good news: it was only Drew “Sweater Boy” Bennett and the Travis “Sperminator” Henry.

Run-stopper Corey Simon makes his return to the NFL after missing all of last season. Alas, Corey didn’t spend the year off thinking of a tougher sounding name. “Corey Simon” sounds like a seminary student. Let me throw out a couple of suggestions on the house… Ropecock Jenkins and Gumbercules McBallcrusher.

Once again, Rob Bironas (Louisville Trinity High) will handle place-kicking duties for the Titans. But some, including BradyFan83, long for the days when Joe Nedney was the man in Nashvegas:

Hat tip to Fanhouse and MDS. Definitely not the worst sports blogger ever.

Take it from someone who has Titans’ football foisted on them regularly via the scourge that is regional coverage: this is one dull football team. We’re talking “Scrubs” dull. Morrissey dull. The only thing saving this team from being an unwatchable snoozefest is Vince Young. Titans fans should get down on their hands and knees and thank the invisible man in the sky of their choosing for Vince Young. Do you know what Titans football would be without Vince Young? Fucking Vandy football on Sundays, that’s what. And nobody wants that.

This week, we’re holding the first annual KsK Kares Charity Drive for Fisher House, which supports disabled veterans and their families. You can donate directly to FH here.