DIE
Thinking about which play to call, coach? Thinking about a shotgun lateral dumpoff pass on 3rd and 1? I bet you are. Let me just give you a little piece of advice. You see the big strong kid wearing #28 over there on the bench? You know, the one who averaged 11 yards a carry on the afternoon? The guy who only got 2 carries in the second half? The only good player on your offense? The one you apparently assume is made of peanut brittle? The only thing about this season that’s keeping me from drinking a gallon of rubber cement? THE ONE YOU HAD RETURNING KICKS LIKE HE WAS DAVID FUCKING PALMER? Here’s a wild idea for you:
GIVE PURPLE JESUS THE FUCKING ROCK, YOU STUPID BALD FUCK!
Jesus Christ. I hope Ragnar drives over your goddamn head.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, catharsis, FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE, Homerism, i feel better now, not grasping simple logic, purple jesus, where have you gone Michael Tice
September 30th, 2007 at 8:02 pm
Let’s see - Farve sets TD record against Vikes, Moss keeping a dynasty alive in NE, Vikes about to face the hard part of their schedule. Little General still has four years on his contract. Fantastic.
Did you know that ESPN picked Boston as a more sports cursed fanbase then Minnesotans?
September 30th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
I guess it’s bad if you want Mike Tice back.
September 30th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Mel Gibson approves.
I have no idea where I’m going with that.
September 30th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
And YOU tell me no way Bills beat the Jets. I’m a Bills fan, I take the Jets for my suicide pool. FUCK. YOU.
September 30th, 2007 at 9:48 pm
@deafjeff: Why is it Drew’s fault? Nobody forced you to pick the Jets.
September 30th, 2007 at 9:50 pm
If I loose my game because Purple Jesus didn’t touch the ball in the second half, I will kick Michael Jeter in the fucking teeth.
September 30th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Does this make him the Purple Judas?
September 30th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Man, where’s the love for Brett Favre today? Oh, it was on ESPN and every other channel showing an NFL game. Sorry. Even as a Packers fan, I’m like, “Okay, that’s enough.”
Oh, and Pack =4-0.
Grossman’s gotta be sitting on the bench going, “See. Told ya.”
September 30th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE is now my second-favorite tag (after “things going into or coming out of bridget moynihan”).
I didn’t watch any football, but I did see the season premiere of “Desperate Housewives.” It was hilarious.
September 30th, 2007 at 10:30 pm
It’s tragic how funny that failure that just makes you bring more fury than Final Fury 3 makes us all, while success is…well, the stuff of Patriots fans. But remember, Purple Jesus forgives all our trespasses.
—Jew for Purple Jesus
October 1st, 2007 at 12:33 am
I’m coming for you, Childress. And hell’s comin with me.
October 1st, 2007 at 12:38 am
Don’t forget the whole “continue to blitz the middle linebackers on third and short when Favre’s been living off of five-yard cuts over the middle” thing. He was good at that too.
October 1st, 2007 at 1:04 am
Kind of ranks up there with: “Fuck that, we don’t need to double Umenyiora. Justice has to be fucking embarrassed at this point. He’ll get his legs under him. He’s got at least 80 lbs on him. No way McNabb runs for his life on this play…”
October 1st, 2007 at 8:19 am
“FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE”
I don’t think we’ve seen the end of THAT tag. Still, third acts are tricky. Nevertheless, as a former citizen of Milwaukee and Appleton I say let slurping begin.
- Barney
Quietlyhumbleandproud, PA.
ps. - sorry about your Purple Jesus. Another misunderstood Jesus used to no good purpose. Go figure. Who saw that coming?
October 1st, 2007 at 9:18 am
I don’t think enough hatred has been brought against Chili yet. Same for f-bombs, threats of violence, molotov cocktails, etc. Keep in mind this guy was brought to Minny under a banner of “offensive genius.” Yeah, that’s why Kelly Holcomb dumped off a 5-yard pass on 3rd and 20 in the fourth quarter. Just drive over my head, it’d be easier.
October 1st, 2007 at 9:19 am
Thank you Brad Childress for not unleashing the full wrath of Purple Jesus on us.
/one happy Packers fan
October 1st, 2007 at 9:20 am
Oh, and I know the Vikings are going 3-13 this year.
October 1st, 2007 at 10:20 am
Les Steckel, pick up the purple courtesy phone. Les Steckel, please pick up hte purple courtesy phone.
For the love of Jesus, that man is a fucktard. That mouthbreather would get outcoached by Cretin Derham-Hall’s freshmen coaches. And the fact that he was trying to get Purple Jesus greenway’d was enough to get me to throw a beercan at my TV. (Thank Purple Jesus I’m as accurate as Kelly Holcombe and hit the wall 15 feet away).
Where the hell are the other 2 wins going to come from? 1-15, here we come.
October 1st, 2007 at 10:22 am
Mike Tice’s pencil could coach a game better than this guy. I am so tired of watching him put in a QB that holds on to the ball longer than the ball boy. Not give the ball to a RB who had a 100 yards by the middle of the 2nd QTR., and calls for a dump pass on 3rd and 15.
Speaking of 3-15, right now that even looks like a stretch right now.
October 1st, 2007 at 10:35 am
my packer fan friend and i were gleefully wondering when childress would figure out that giving the ball to your best player is allowed in the second half. apparently he used all his brainpower to grow that glorious mustache.
October 1st, 2007 at 10:40 am
3-15 indeed would be a stretch.
October 1st, 2007 at 10:46 am
Wait…I think Greg Jennings just scored another touchdown.
Sorry Drew, but your coach looks as lost as Reche Caldwell last year.
October 1st, 2007 at 11:42 am
Just think of how badass a backfield of McFadden and Peterson is going to be next year.
Coaching and a lack of a QB will still leave you at 4-12 but you might have 2 1000 yard backs.
October 1st, 2007 at 11:54 am
I think Childress was saving AP for Texas.
October 1st, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Mmmmmm… rubber cement…
October 1st, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Major Dad is the worst coach in the NFL other than my main man Norv.
Kick-ass offense, indeed.
October 1st, 2007 at 1:28 pm
If Minnesota isn’t going to run the ball more Chester Taylor shouldn’t be getting any carries, much less starting. You don’t need two backs to split a 20 carry a game workload.
October 1st, 2007 at 11:08 pm
GIVE PURPLE JESUS THE FUCKING ROCK, YOU STUPID BALD FUCK!
My fantasy football team agrees.
/lame commenting
October 2nd, 2007 at 12:05 am
The original Purple Jesus (Randy Moss) says “eat the peanuts outta my sheeee-it”
October 2nd, 2007 at 1:43 am
If Griese continues his suckatude and the Bears turn back to the Sex Cannon, there better be some fucking awesome posts here. Revenge of the Sex Cannon…. BDSM fucking the entire city of Chicago, things of that nature.
October 2nd, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Excellent rant.