This Week’s KSK Commenter Draft – Vehicle You Would Want For a High Speed Chase
I’m buying a car this weekend. WOO HOO! Oh yeah, bitch. I’m buying me the sexiest car on the market. I’m buying a car that’ll make panties drop the second it comes within eyeshot. It’s the kind of car that makes catcalls actually effective. This is the kind of car that elevates me to a greater status of human being, richer and sexier than the rest of you commoners. And that car, of course, is…
The Honda CRV. Oooh, baby. Don’t act like you aren’t jealous. This 4-cylinder honey can accommodate not one, but TWO baby seats. And it’s got a cassette deck. Is that Glacier Blue blinding your eyes? Why, yes it is. Advantage: Drew.
Anyway, in celebration of the biggest check I will ever write until my kid chooses an expensive college over a better state school, it’s time for vehicle draft. You’re in a high speed chase! The 5.0 be hot on yo tail! You need a vehicle that’s fast, with a dexterity of at least 17 or higher. The rules: Pick one vehicle. It can be any vehicle, real or imaginary. Let us also assume you have the money necessary to maintain it, or even trick it out. Once you pick a vehicle, wait 10 picks until you select another.
My pick. You know it…
In case you forgot, the Millenium Falcon did the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. Don’t know what a parsec is? Well then, fuck you. It’s fast. It can outrun Imperial starships. Not local bulk-cruisers, mind you. I’m talking about the big Corellian ships now. Bitchin. Although I never understood why Han Solo’s ride was the only ship in the galaxy that could jump into hyperspace. Whatever. It’s mine. You ain’t catchin’ me, baby!
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August 17th, 2007 at 9:42 am
the back to the future delorean
the ability to time travel, no way the cops can catch me.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:43 am
fine, then i take the starship enterprise.
warp speed, mr. sulu.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:45 am
I see your Honda CRV and raise you my new Hyundai Sante Fe…
August 17th, 2007 at 9:46 am
For the draft, since you took the space ships, I’ll take an actual car.
Shelby Cobra - original.
And that’s it, I just won
August 17th, 2007 at 9:46 am
I’ll take Spaceballs One and kick all of your monkey asses.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:47 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HB7tc9pVvYg
August 17th, 2007 at 9:47 am
This draft has quickly gone from suck to blow.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Barbaro
Giddy-up!
August 17th, 2007 at 9:49 am
Spectre from Twisted Metal 2.
Fast and deadly!
August 17th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Ducati ST3.
My mom just bought a CR-V and it is nice. I’m not breaking your balls BDD, after we have our second kid I’ll be buying a mini-van.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:51 am
I’ll take the Rhino (army tank) from GTA.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Street Hawk
because K.I.T.T. just doesn’t corner well enough.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Lance Armstrong’s bike, if it comes complete with his drugs.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:52 am
I’ll take the Intimidator…#3
race in peace dale…race in peace
August 17th, 2007 at 9:52 am
I’ll take Optimus Prime
August 17th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Speed is overrated. I’m not even much of a Star Wars fan, but I’ll take the Death Star. It’s the Hummer of the future!
August 17th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Audi A6
August 17th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Vulcan Bird of Prey
I got Cloaking technology mahfakhas!
August 17th, 2007 at 9:53 am
damnit all
August 17th, 2007 at 9:54 am
i take jesus. fuck you all.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:54 am
I take the Serenity from the TV show Firefly. Fast, and it comes with a hooker on board. Space is big and empty, ya know?
August 17th, 2007 at 9:54 am
Scarlett Johanson
August 17th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Can’t believe I’m about to type this but:
Damn you mrubio, you stole my pick of the cloaking ship.
So I’ll take the wierd ship from Star Trek 4 that looked like a long piece of shit but shut down anything near it…
August 17th, 2007 at 9:56 am
The Pope mobile
August 17th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Superman
August 17th, 2007 at 9:56 am
pee wee herman’s bike
August 17th, 2007 at 9:56 am
Chris Reeve’s wheel chair… after he’s had about 10 fetus (feti?)
August 17th, 2007 at 9:57 am
damn you UM…
August 17th, 2007 at 9:58 am
I take the Batmobile, from the ‘89 version of Batman. Voice controlled, rockets, and an at her prime Kim Bassinger.
August 17th, 2007 at 9:59 am
That fucking spaceship from Flight of the Navigator
August 17th, 2007 at 10:00 am
I’ll take the Starship Voyager as it comes with Seven of Nine’s boobs.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:01 am
a 1993 white ford bronco owned by al cowlings.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:01 am
The Bluesmobile.
Police auction. They were practically givin’ ‘em away!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:01 am
I’ll take (to no one in particular) YO MOMMA.
I’ll ride that bitch all the way to the bank.
TY, TY.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:01 am
K.I.T. from Knight Rider.
Nothing like riding around with a whiny, nasally, douchebag-like car that keeps admonishing you.
Michael, you’re driving too fast.”
“Michael, put on your seatbelt.”
“Michael, you forgot to put a condom on again(while plowing chicks in the backseat afterhours).”
August 17th, 2007 at 10:02 am
John Connors dirtbike from Terminator 2, mainly so I can jam to ‘You could be mine’ while being chased by a garbage truck.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:02 am
Stair Car from Arrested Development….. but you gotta watch out for the hop-ons, you will get hop-ons.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:04 am
damn, Richard stole my second pick…
at the risk of sounding like a trekkie,
The Borg Cube.
Common capabilities of cubes include high warp (transwarp) capabilities, self-regeneration and multiple redundant systems, rapid adaptability to almost every seen assault, and various beam (tractor beams and cutting beams) and missile weapons.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:04 am
piggy back ride from Erin Esurance
August 17th, 2007 at 10:04 am
The General Lee: The 1969 Dodge Charger that Dukes of Hazzard used. That shit always got them away from the cops.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:04 am
The Sooooooultrain!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:05 am
2006 Aston Martin DBS from Casino Royale. Fucking sweet.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:05 am
a ‘95 black Ford Mustang 6 cylinder with a stick shift.
Doesn’t sound that hot? well then imagine crusing it by the high school during field hockey practice with the windows down the mortal kombat theme song blasting. yeah, now we’re talkin.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:05 am
It’s got a cop motor; a 440 cubic inch plant. It’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s the model before catalytic converters so she runs good on regular gasoline.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:06 am
the car from starsky and hutch
August 17th, 2007 at 10:06 am
Bratmobile. Those riot grrls would be my ticket to freedom.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:07 am
a 2007 Porsche 911 Turbo…
with Tom Brady’s girlfriend in the passenger seat…
naked…
(FTW!)
August 17th, 2007 at 10:07 am
Damn you Drew, in the time it took me to find this, you stole it from me…
Elwood: You don’t like it?
Jake: No I don’t like it…
[Elwood Blues floors the pedal and jumps over an open drawbridge]
Jake: Car’s got a lot of pickup.
Elwood: It’s got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
[a brief thinking pause while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]
Jake: Fix the cigarette lighter.
I’ll take Bullit’s ’stang
August 17th, 2007 at 10:07 am
@BDD, It’s got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:08 am
a fucking harrier jet. it can take off vertically, bitches.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:08 am
mr. furious, I like your style and great call on the Mustang from the greatest car chase in movie history.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:09 am
Roman Abramovich’s yacht complete with heli-pad for on-shore continuation.
http://www.roman-abramovich.com/pelorus-yacht-pictures-roman-abramovich.htm
August 17th, 2007 at 10:09 am
I’ll take Michael Scott’s Convertable Chrysler Labaron…
there’s only one labaron Freddy and I’m the #1 son
August 17th, 2007 at 10:09 am
Hunter S. Thompson’s Great Red Shark. Fast as hell and all kinds of ‘perks’ in the trunk.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:11 am
Buckaroo Banzai’s Jetcar!!!
I can drive through solid matter bitches!!! MUAHAHAHA!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:12 am
Hoverbike from Return of the Jedi. But I’d have the good sense to to race it through a goddamn forest.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:13 am
1968 Ford Mustang G.T.390 Fastback
Steve McQueen drove it in Bullet.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:14 am
Canyonero! Smells like a steak and it seats 35…
August 17th, 2007 at 10:15 am
Al Cowlings white Ford Bronco with Cowlings as driver.
Micheal Vick wishes he had friends like that.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:15 am
@JAMMQ Nice pick
@MRubio52 Fuck you, you took my second pick!
Now I’ve got to go thinking outside the box and shit.
Hmmmm, Outside the box
I’ll take the Penis Car from the Ambiguously Gay Duo…no better way to tell chicks “I’ve got/am a big dick”
August 17th, 2007 at 10:15 am
the ambiguosly gay duo’s penis car
August 17th, 2007 at 10:15 am
69 GTO Judge, orange never looked so good.
http://www.gtoalley.com/69judge.html
The blown 68 GTO in My Science Project would be cool too
August 17th, 2007 at 10:15 am
@jammq — bronco was already gone.
please try again.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:16 am
So the “bratmobile” has been taken but not the Batmobile?
Well then I’m going with the motherfucking Batmobile.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:16 am
@Pemulis that’s gotta sting, you missed it by 5 seconds.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Ned Flanders mobile home.
Also BDD my wife and I are getting one this weekend as well. All though I think we are leaning towards green tea metallic. I will race you to Kroger later for baby formula.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:17 am
One of those dancing horses–Friesians
OLE!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:17 am
@wormfather
Yes! Just, yes!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:17 am
Unit 91
Unit 91 come in 91 unit 91 come in 91… do you need my assistance
August 17th, 2007 at 10:18 am
a giant stone john wilkes booth.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:18 am
@ wormfather… gay minds think alike?
August 17th, 2007 at 10:19 am
Airwolf, as long as I could hire Ernest Borgnine as my mechanic.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:19 am
Fucking jewdagos take everything . . .
August 17th, 2007 at 10:20 am
I will take the Batwing….Unstoppable…unless you have a really long 6 shooter
August 17th, 2007 at 10:20 am
The Phone Booth from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:20 am
How about the Mystery Machine?
If that’s not available, the Harlem Globetrotters tour bus.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:21 am
@pemulis, no, I just needed to actually wiki the duo to find out the name of the car…felt like an idiot when I saw that it was the “penis car”
August 17th, 2007 at 10:22 am
The van from the A-Team.
That thing was stacked with tons o’ guns, and it had that cool red stripe on it.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:24 am
Now increasing my ever-apparent geekiness:
The Heart of Gold (from Douglas Adams’ Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy).
Three words: Infinite. Improbability. Drive.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:25 am
racecar bed
August 17th, 2007 at 10:25 am
The Plow King Truck, I figured I needed to get a Simpsons vehicle reference in somewhere.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:25 am
Lotus Esprit from “The Spy Who Loved Me” that turns into a submarine. You can’t go wrong with any car from a James Bond movie.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:26 am
gorilla, you can’t really chase anybody in a conveyance that randomly selects its destination
August 17th, 2007 at 10:27 am
a la Kurt Van Houten, UM?
August 17th, 2007 at 10:27 am
The Jaguar from Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” video, Tawny Kitaen included. Not for anything purient, but she would probably attract the attention of the police and I could escape while the officers try to subdue her. Good luck!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:27 am
http://www.hammacher.com/publish/73604.asp?promo=new_items
August 17th, 2007 at 10:28 am
UM-true, but if I’m the one being chased…
August 17th, 2007 at 10:28 am
Maurice Clarett’s SUV fully fucking stocked with an AK, “Hi-Point” pistol and open fifth of the goose
bitches
August 17th, 2007 at 10:28 am
the x-wing. can’t believe it lasted this fucking long.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:29 am
I will take the Warthog from Halo….because I am a loser
August 17th, 2007 at 10:29 am
damn, calvin. great pick.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:29 am
Since twelve people have already claimed the Mustang from “Bullitt,” I guess I have to go with the Aston Martin from “Goldfinger.”
It has a little less oomph under the hood, but the twin machine guns sort of make up for that.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:32 am
Otto Man, if you wanted oomph under the hood you would have gone with the Aston Martin V12 Vanquish from the shitty Bond film Die Another Day.
The movie sucked but I’ll take invisibility, a V-12, and some auto-targeting machineguns. Plus those bad-ass tires with retractable spikes.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Audi S8
One mean bastard of Teutonic engineering. And what Jean Reno recommended in the movie Ronin
August 17th, 2007 at 10:33 am
The G-6155 Interceptor from Spy Hunter. Oil slicks aplenty. And yes, I looked that shit up.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:33 am
Naptown, Batmobile was taken early, no way it was still on the board.
My next pick is Car RamRod. I am acquiring quite the arsenal of comedy cars.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:35 am
I’m taking Lawrence Maroney’s “Koolmobile”.
http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/search/label/koolaid%20maroney
August 17th, 2007 at 10:35 am
@ John….
technically thats the same as my 2nd 3rd pick unit 91…just different people inside it… but i’ll allow it cause the movie is that good
August 17th, 2007 at 10:35 am
The Z8 from The World is Not Enough. It’s got it’s own arsenal and a remote control beeyatch.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:36 am
F22 Raptor
Fuck you all
August 17th, 2007 at 10:36 am
I’ll take the Russian cab for “The Bourne Supremacy”. Apparently, Russian cabs are fucking indestrcutible.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:37 am
You know those guitars that are like double-guitars?
August 17th, 2007 at 10:38 am
spy hunter.
Oil slicks. Check.
Smokescreen. Check
Peter Gunn Theme. Checkmate.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:38 am
Mad Max’s black V8 Interceptor.
Hell, any of the fucking crazy-ass shit he drove. As long as I’ve got the sawed-off and the dog, I’m goood.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:38 am
@beaverfever
You ain’t see nothing until you see a pissed off woman doing 90 in a minivan with her head turned around screaming at her kids. I’ve experienced that firsthand. Be afraid my friend be very afraid.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:39 am
Can I borrow a feeling?
August 17th, 2007 at 10:39 am
I’m going with Blue Thunder, TV version—who cares about the guns when you have Bubba Smith and Dick Butkus in the cockpit?
August 17th, 2007 at 10:40 am
@fallex - i just took spy hunter.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:41 am
@John John
Upon further review, my selection of the generalized Batmobile has been ruled a duplicate.
Therefore, I choose the Batmobile from Batman Begins.
I can’t believe I’ve just spent this much time of my adult life researching Batmobiles. If my past self met my present self he would punch me straight in the teeth and steal my wallet and girlfriend.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:42 am
I’ll take a The B-2 Spirit, or stealth bomber, - by the time you realize I was there, I’m gone and you’d be glue your ass back together.
Power plant: four General Electric F118-GE-100 engines Speed and flight range: high-subsonic speeds and long flight range
Armaments: nuclear and conventional, including gravity bombs and maritime weapons
Stealthy design: low-observability characteristics to avoid radar detection
I will rule the world!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Calvin, I was racking my brain to remember whether it was the same car, I will defer the pick to you. As a substitute I pick the white Miata from the opening scene. “WOOOOOOOOOOOO, You boys like MEX-EE-CO?”
Still very excited with my staircar pick even though I went too early with it.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:43 am
I will take Cole Trickles ride from Days of Thunder and by ride I mean Nicole Kidman
August 17th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Knight Boat.
“They’re getting away in a car!”
“Oh look, a peninsula!”
August 17th, 2007 at 10:43 am
naptown- That’s the Tumbler…I kinda like that name better than “Batmobile”, but that’s just me.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:44 am
batkkake
http://www.slashfilm.com/2007/08/16/the-dark-knight-18-new-photos/
August 17th, 2007 at 10:44 am
The car from Spy Hunter, with smoke screen and oil slick already included… plus, directions to the boathouse.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:45 am
The flame painted gremlin from wayne’s world
August 17th, 2007 at 10:46 am
@ John… I love the staircar pick…
and to follow it up I will take Gob’s Segway
August 17th, 2007 at 10:47 am
USS Defiant
…small, fast as hell, bad ass arsenal.
Yes, I’m a geek.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:48 am
The cheetah from Harold & Kumar.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:48 am
The U.S.S. Defiant. The only one of its kind, heavily armed, cloaking technology and Hawk at the helm.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Drew, you want indestructible? How about a big-ass Kenworth tow truck—cars, bridge walls, shopping carts? No problem….
Me, I’ll ride along on the Harley as piloted by a sawed-off wielding T-800. I win in the end.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:48 am
A Dodge Stratus.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:49 am
fucking hell.
The car from Spyhunter was taken about 4 times already.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:49 am
I can’t believe it’s still available, but I will take The Homer. It has 10 cup-holders and plays La Cucaracha. Game over bitches.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:49 am
shoop- LOVE it! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:50 am
@s - taken. try control-F. sorry, i’m just defensive about spy hunter. although it is sort of a shitty car for a chase, because it never ends…
August 17th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Laserbike from Tron.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Oh, forgot the link. Terminator 2 chase
j_brock: You mean…”Canyonero!!!”
August 17th, 2007 at 10:50 am
DAMN YOU, Undead Zombie.
As a replacement, I’ll take the automated plane from Stealth.
What’s that? Do I watch too many crappy movies? Why, yes. Yes, I do.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:52 am
El duffo: I thought it was a canal, not a peninsula.
“There’s a canal every week.”
August 17th, 2007 at 10:52 am
I’ll take AirForce One… Only if Harry Ford comes with it…
Get off my plane
August 17th, 2007 at 10:53 am
@Mr. Furious
Fuck the Canyonero. The F series has a built in lipstick holder.
The Homer has a bubble dome, 3 horns and an 8 track player.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:53 am
from the futurama episode “roswell that ends well,” i’ll take the professor’s flying lay-z-boy with twin lasers.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:53 am
I’ll take the dumptruck Axel Foley and the gang chase down Maxwell Dent’s goons on the way to the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills Cop II
August 17th, 2007 at 10:53 am
buckaroo bonzai’s jet car.. motherfucker has an oscillation overthruster!!
August 17th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Didn’t know what geek ride to pick this time so I’m going with Robotech’s VF-1
August 17th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Timmy’s time traveling wheelchair.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:55 am
pemulis- sorry, I already staked my nerd factor by taking the Jetcar with my no. 1
August 17th, 2007 at 10:55 am
Airwolf, the ass-kickinest helicopter ever to be seen on network tv.
It comes stocked with missles and Jan Michael Vincent’s massive coke stash.
Also, Ernest Borgnine is there, for comedy relief.
Yes, I am old. Fuck you.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:56 am
Since the Cheetah has been taken…I will take Harold’s car from Harold and Kumar. As long as Dookie Howsers love stains come with it.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:56 am
the Pontiac from the French Connection. I guess I could take the elevated train instead, but I’ll stick to Popeye’s ride.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:57 am
I would take Jazz from the new Transformers movie but then I would have to watch BET all the time.
I’ll go with Barricade (the police car) since he was more up my alley.
“To Punish and Enslave.”
August 17th, 2007 at 10:57 am
@ gorilla: goddmnit. excellent pick though. even excellenter movie
August 17th, 2007 at 10:58 am
One of Jay Leno’s bikes. Custom made with a Jet engine. You heard me right a JET ENGINE.
WV, mcokd - I’m not right now, but I would like to be soon.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:58 am
It’s not my first option, considering I’m weighing in now, with 120-plus picks gone. But I’m going back to my childhood roots, and picking…
The Coyote, straight out of the cheeseball early 80s show “Hardcastle and McCormick.”
http://www.angelfire.com/tv2/coyote/site_coyote/site_coyote.htm
Come on, you know you’re just jealous because you didn’t think of it. Perms are optional, but encouraged.
August 17th, 2007 at 10:58 am
@devang, thanks for the warning
August 17th, 2007 at 10:59 am
@undead zombie. i’ll take jazz then…
What’s crackin lil bitches?
August 17th, 2007 at 10:59 am
I’ll take the Cobra Mark III from Elite. And I have an escape pod in case I can’t outrun those Vipers.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Unitard, don’t apologize. I used to love that show…. when I was 5.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Battle Cat.
I already look like He-Man so why not have an ass kicking tiger?
August 17th, 2007 at 11:00 am
I will take the one, the only, 1991 White, with slight rust and a Petoskey Tennis sticker on the back left window, Chevrolet Lumina
August 17th, 2007 at 11:01 am
Kawasaki cop bike from “CHiPs”
Doesn’t matter if I’m any good on a bike, since everybody else on the road is forced to go 20mph.
And you can’t touch my fucking soundtrack.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:01 am
The “car” from the Jetsons.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:01 am
@devang:
On that note, I’m taking Leno’s hot rod/rat rod powered by a fucking tank engine. V-12, 1000hp, weighs a ton by itself. Outrun or run over anything.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:02 am
Falkor the flying dog/dragon from Neverending stroy
August 17th, 2007 at 11:02 am
I take the bus from speed.
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.”
August 17th, 2007 at 11:02 am
I love it, jargonbear.
“RRREEEOOOOOWWWWWW, Let’s get ‘em He-Man!”
August 17th, 2007 at 11:03 am
It’s just like Speed 2. But on a bus instead of a a boat.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:03 am
@ Dr. Mexico… Thank you… that car had more cum stains in the back seat than the Sex Cannon’s “lucky” boxers
I will be taking Marty McFly’s Hoover board, because we all know his parkinsonsed ass can’t stay on it anymore
August 17th, 2007 at 11:04 am
screw the speed, power, etc…..I think I’ll take the…..
SOUL TRAIN with Don Cornelius as my conductor - man we’d have the chicks piled on board bumping and grinding - now that’s a vehicle I can ride!!!!!
August 17th, 2007 at 11:05 am
@ calvin: you bojo, hoverboards dont work on water… UNLESS YOUVE GOT POWAH!!!!!!
has anyone taken doc’s time travelling train from back to the future 3 yet?
August 17th, 2007 at 11:05 am
Joe Dirt’s Hemi from the end of the movie, and his sister Jamie Pressley….related or not…I am still sticking it
August 17th, 2007 at 11:05 am
i’ll take unicron. dude can eat planets.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:05 am
The soul train has been taken at least twice.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:06 am
Ghost Rider’s Chopper
August 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Fuck all of you.
The fucking Phoenix.
Rockets, blasters, VTOL, comes with it’s own buggy, race car, jet fighter, motorcyle and of course there’s always “Trans-mute!” FIERY PHOENIX!
Not to mention, Princess.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am
Snake’s Lil’ Bandit!
She needs premium, dude!
August 17th, 2007 at 11:07 am
And if you can figure out the word scramble, you get some free Afro Sheen out of it.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:08 am
The Goblin Glider.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:08 am
Steve McQueen’s bike from the end of The Great Escape.
(escaping Nazi Prison Camps only)
August 17th, 2007 at 11:09 am
The taxi from the Fifth Element. Complete with Bruce Willis to drive me around.
And, good job flying the geek flags today.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:10 am
I will take the elaborate yet awesome stage that is transported by thousands of slaves that Xerxes was transported in in the movie 300. I would also have as many slave women as possible on my stage so that I could shoot a sex cannon load all over the dead soldiers lying on the battle field.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:11 am
I can’t believe it slid-
I take Voltron. All 5, cause sometimes I like to ride in the Green Lion.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:12 am
Can i take La Amistad and a lot of chains and anchors…
eeeee (pulls collar out)
August 17th, 2007 at 11:12 am
How about this beast
The SUV that follows the presidential motorcade, complete with pop-upM134 minigun. It fires 7.62mm bullets at a rate of about 4,000 rounds per minute.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:13 am
I will take one of those crazy ass elephants from Lord of the Rings…Fuck you Legolas…you aint killin my elephant
August 17th, 2007 at 11:14 am
one of the giant steel balls from the american gladiators event “atlasphere.”
August 17th, 2007 at 11:15 am
I’ll Stuntman Mike’s car from Death Proof. I cannot believe that I have been making stupid jokes and references when the real bad-ass car has been here all along.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Late to the draft but I choose the “marijuana van” from Up in Smoke. But Im stealing Cheech’s MUF DVR license plate off his junker from the beginning of the movie…….man.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:15 am
Wonder Woman’s invisible jet. I would fly pantless and give the world a view of my smooshed up fruit bowl.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:16 am
Give me Tommy Lee Jones’ black POS Ford from Men in Black.
That car was on the roof of the Lincoln Tunnel….now that’s service!
August 17th, 2007 at 11:16 am
The Vikings Sex Boat.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:17 am
None of this shit beats my 2000 Toyota Echo with manual windows. Yes, that’s right, mother-fuckers. MANUAL windows. Nothings says “cool shit” like dislocating an elbow just to order from a clown’s mouth.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:17 am
@Ben
Damn you. Damn you to hell.
Alright then, I’ll take the Love Machine from Up in Smoke. Comes with a giant dog-shit joint.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Space Shuttle Endeavour.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:18 am
Ha! John John beat me to it so I’m going old school—the Peterbilt from Spielberg’s Duel.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:19 am
A magic carpet. With Princess Jasmine riding shotgun.
Score.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:20 am
canyonero. unexplained fires are a matter for the courts
August 17th, 2007 at 11:21 am
Hagrid’s (formerly Siris Black’s) flying motorcycle; with sidecar.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:23 am
To recap. Off the Board (multiple times):
Canyonero
Spy Hunter
Every Fucking Spaceship known to man woman and dork
August 17th, 2007 at 11:24 am
I’ll take a KTM 950 Adventure. The ultimate motorcycle- won the Paris Dakar rally, and can go anywhere.
Cops chasing you on the road? Cut through the fucking desert and see if they can follow.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Oh fallex, you are just so wrong about the spaceships. There are plenty more to be named. Don’t you worry.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:26 am
@smello. Ok, just man and woman then.
I’ll take the flying gullwing Camaro from MASK (that’s Mobile Armored Strike Kommand, not Eric Stoltz and Cher).
August 17th, 2007 at 11:26 am
The ambulance from “Mother, Jugs and Speed“
Eight fucking headlights, and Racquel Welch.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:26 am
the super-future tank from “aliens.” if it can crush a xenomorph, it’s good enough for me.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:29 am
The motorcycle from the trailer for Machete in Grindhouse.
I think I’m done for a bit see you later. To recap
1. the 1995 Audi a6 I bought at police auction.
2. Stair Car (Arrested Development)
3. White Miata (Super Troopers)
4. Timmy’s Time-Traveling Wheelchair (South Park)
5. Stuntman Mike’s car (Deathproof)
6. Motorcycle with Gattling Gun (Machete Trailer in Death Proof)
August 17th, 2007 at 11:30 am
Correction the Machete trailer played in between the movies or before Planet Terror.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:31 am
The stretcher used to carry away JFK’s bloody and shot body.
(The grassy knoll is bullshit)
August 17th, 2007 at 11:33 am
This is the funniest thing you’ll watch today. Trust me.
Robot Chicken Cannonball Run
And it reminds me, I don’t remember anybody picking the Mach 5 from Speed Racer.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:36 am
The door Elian Gonzalez floated over here on.
(No offense to Cuban’s but were not allowed in your country, are you allowed in ours?)
August 17th, 2007 at 11:36 am
My draft recap:
1.) Dale’s #3
2.) Chris Reeve’s wheel chair
3.) Michael Scott’s Labarron
4.) Unit 91
5.) Maurice Clarrett’s SUV
6.) Gob’s Segway
7.) Airforce One
8.) McFly’s Hoverboard
9.) Amistad
My final pick is Princess Diana’s 1994 Mercedes S280 Sedan..and i get her drunk ass driver Henri Paul
August 17th, 2007 at 11:41 am
I’m taking the Spruce Moose. I said, get in.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Hey, I’VE got a 2000 Echo with manual windows (but the driver’s side one is broken, so it won’t roll down). Oh yeah, muthafucka’s bad-ass… 0-60 in about 30 seconds.
It’s black, at least. And 3 of the windows are tinted. Beat that.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:43 am
Oh, and although I haven’t read all 200-some coments, I’m pretty sure no one’s claimed this:
I want the bicycle delivery cart that Ryan O’Neal and Barbara Streisand rode in “What’s Up, Doc?” With the Chinese dragon attached.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:47 am
I’ll take the BANDIT MOBILE, that’s right, from Smokey And the Bandit, bitches, and I get away PLUS I get to nail a 1978-vintage Sally Field and I have the greatest movie theme song ever written to listen to while i do it.
East bound and down, loaded up and truckin….
August 17th, 2007 at 11:49 am
Thor-great pick
Follow that up with the Jackie Chan mobile from Cannonball Run. Invisibility protection
August 17th, 2007 at 11:51 am
The color changing Lamboghani from the beginning of Cannonball Run 2. All I need is a dude with a hose to totally change the color of my ride. Then he’ll need to hose me down because the two chicks who drove that thing were the hotness.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Deathmobile from Animal House
RAMMING SPEED!!!!!!!
August 17th, 2007 at 11:53 am
The trailer from Snatch. With the Pikeys to defend it.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:56 am
I’ll take that awesome chariot from Ben Hur, the original tricked out ride. It’s got knives for hub caps.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:56 am
The ice cream truck from Cheech and Chongs “Nice Dreams” Filled will killer buds in push up pops and has that crazy fucking clown head on a spring on top.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:58 am
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang because it sounds like messy anal sex.
Oh and can fly, don’t forget that.
August 17th, 2007 at 11:58 am
nice slash. I’m ashamed to like that movie, let alone to have heard of it. Good chase scene however.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
The crystal shard that imprisons people in the Phantom Zone from Superman.
What? I’ve got a thing for traveling in two-dimensional abstractions. …Krypton sucks.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
I can’t believe it lasted this long!! I’ll take the Millenium Falcon…suckers.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I’m going to take Lorenzo Neal
August 17th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Magnum PI’s Ferrari
August 17th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Can’t believe nobody has gone this route yet, and I went back and forth between a couple of options, but:
The Battleship Iowa.
16 Inch Cannon, Cruise Missiles, and one foot thick armor plate.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Really, el duffo?
Does a transporter count? Because that’s what I really want for all of my traveling & being chased needs.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
The Alien mothership from Independence Day. That was a bad fucking ship.
Fuck and Die.
And please, uploading a virus to an alien spaceship’s computer does not work. Trust me I tried.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
a lynx with a saddle
August 17th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
The Addams Family dragster.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
@el duffo: I’m pretty sure that was BDDs first pick….
In other news, since I can’t take the S8, I’ll jump on board the new R8. What can I say, there’s a slight Audi fetish involved.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
@smello
Sorry, just trying to fit in with the multiple pick theme today. In all seriousness though, if I had to pick one thing from Star Wars to ride, it’d be Padme.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:15 pm
Wow…with with so many people missing the irony and sarcasm of my millenium falcon pick, I’d swear I was in the comments at N.O.I.S.B.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I’m gonna have to go with Forrest Gump’s lawn mower.
Awww yeah, that’s right!
August 17th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I’ll take Harry Potter’s Firebolt
August 17th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
The second Voltron. The one with the Lions.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
Executor. Darth Vader’s Super Star Destroyer. Anybody pullin’ over Vader’s ride? I think not.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Donkey Kong from Mario Kart. I don’t actually wanna ride Donkey Kong, just the vehicle. And I’d like the cops to be chasing me around Bowsers castle, they’d have no chance with my barrage of bananas.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Jack Black’s chopper that got thrashed in Anchorman, Broseph!!
August 17th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
The Cadillac from Barry and Levon go to the moon. WHere else are you going to find God embodied as a Cadillac Sedan DeVille with $240 worth of pudding in the trunk. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
So to recap, becuase I think I am going home soon.
1. Police Auction 1995 Audi a6 Quattro(A parking spot by my apt.)
2. Stair Car (Arrested Development)
3. White Miata (Super Troopers)
4. Timmy’s Time-Traveling Wheelchair (South Park)
5. Speed Bus (Speed/The Simpsons)
6. Stuntman Mike’s Car (Deathproof/Grindhouse)
7. Motorcycle with Gattling Gun (Machete Trailer/Grindhouse)
8. Barry & Levon’s Caddy (The State)
August 17th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I’ll take the Green Goblin’s motorized flying thing. I’d be lobbing pumpkin bombs and bags filled with dog poo at people from above the city.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
fallex: I am not the least bit ashamed to love that movie. It is fucking hilarious, and the chase was the best part. “I can’t see, I can’t see… Oh, God, I can see…”
Thinking about it makes me want to see it again.
Whatever, don’t you all judge me…
I wish I’d thought of the Deathmobile from Animal House, I would’ve taken that first. There are no good vehicles left, unless no one’s claimed the GTO from XXX yet, in which case, mine.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
@dick_gozinia
You mean the Goblin Glider. Taken.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
The Wonkavator. It goes sideways and slantways and longways and backways frontways and squareways and any other ways.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
The vehicle that takes Bear Grylls back and forth to the hotel every night.
August 17th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
In my garage:
1. McQueen’s Bullitt Mustang (I think I was first)
2. Mad Max’s Interceptor
3. T2 Harley driven by Arnold
4. CHiPs Kawasaki
5. Phoenix from G-Force
6. Ambulance from “MJ&S”
7. Speed Racer’s Mach 5
Come on, fuck with me.
August 17th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
Yes, el duffo, you sarcasm went over my head. My bad.
I take the EM-50. The tricked out RV from Stripes. I don’t think it’s been taken yet, of course, I could be wrong.
August 17th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
That six-wheeled car from The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen.