I went to the Steelers/Redskins game Saturday with the D.C. contingent of that disparate collective that is Steelers fandom at the fetid and unwieldly hovel that is FedEx Field. Despite having our group mooned by a ‘Skins fan in a Randle El jersey, being feet away from two ‘Skins fans getting into a fist fight and still not getting ejected (said another of the Raljon, Md. faithful: “We just like to scrap.”) we lucked out that we didn’t have to deal with the Dead Tree Crew and, even more fortuitously, we didn’t see Steely motherfucking McBeam.

We would have torn him to yellow, simpering ribbons.

KSK Photoshoppeur Dan V. apparently finds amusement rather than thoughts of malevolence in the five o’clock shadowy, swishy figure that is Steely. In a series of pics that’s bound to ruin my season unless the Steelers win the Super Bowl, he draws back the sallow, lacy curtain on the seedy doings of Mr. McBeam.




Did you know that Steely is Karl Rove’s father?

This offseason was much more pleasant when its gayest subplot was Brady Quinn being pictured in the most compromising ways imaginable. It seems these actions only served to sow the seeds of Steely. You’ve inspired a monster, Brady.

It’s a contagion that’s sweeping the AFC North entire, even causing sworn enemies to act out in bizarre, unsettling ways.

Oh. God. No.