After some Facebook pictures and excerpts surfaced on KSK this summer, the legend of Koolaid Maroney has grown exponentially. Yet time has done little to decode Koolaid‘s secrets of life. We wash our ass religiously, yet we still haven’t divined the mysteries behind ‘begul shitting’ or, more importantly, ‘construda.’

Frankly, we think our readers in New England are slacking on this one. Surely one of you underemployed slackers has had the opportunity to ask Maroney about construda. Koolaid has probably been asked about his increased role after the retirement of Corey Dillon a thousand freaking times already. Enough already. Someone ask something we actually want to know. If Ryan or Shaughnessy are reading this remember, one of you old bastards could land a Pulitzer over this.

In the meantime, Urban Dictionary has some suggestions, including our own, but none seem truly authoritative. Alas, the search continues.