Clockwise from left: QB Drew Brees, RB Reggie Bush, K Olindo Mare, and FS Kevin Kaesviharn

Five Fast Facts About the Saints:

- Kicker John Carney was released in April, leaving fullback Mike Karney as the only “carnie” on the team. Well, besides linebacker Mark Simoneau. He can guess your weight within three pounds.

- The Louisiana Superdome, which was a lawless refugee camp during Hurricane Katrina, has been home to more rapes and murders than any other NFL stadium besides McAfee Coliseum in Oakland.

- Unbeknownst to most fans fans, wide receiver Devery Henderson’s first name is an adjective meaning “quick to spoil.” As in: “Oh man, I didn’t realize the meast was devery. We’re rumphed.”

- Defensive end Will Smith is married to semi-successful actress Jada Pinkett Smith.

- Reggie Bush has joined Matt Leinart as one of the few NFL stars who has dabbled in the medically unsound practice of dating celebutantes. The two former USC stars, of course, have now been romantically linked to Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton (respectively). The final third of that potent Trojan (Trojan — God, I hope) offense, LenDale White, has been seen canoodling with a Nashville-area vending machine. You oughta see what happens to the Honey Buns in the sex tape.

OMG! BFF!

Projected 2007 record: 11-5, first in NFC South
Actual 2007 record: 16-0, first in NFC South, lose NFC semifinal at home.

It’s hard to believe that it was just a year ago that we all wondered what would happen to the Saints. In 2005 the team went 3-13 while playing “home” games at such close-to-New Orleans locales as Baton Rouge, San Antonio, and New Jersey. They were coached by Jim Haslett and quarterbacked by Aaron Brooks. Owner/cockmonger Tom Benson seemed hellbound to move the team to San Antonio or Los Angeles. In short, it was the single most pitiful Saints season that didn’t involve Archie Manning.

Ah, but what a difference a year makes! Coach Sean Payton was poached from the Cowboys, the Dolphins passed on free agent Drew Brees (How did Culpepper and Harrington work out, Miami?), the Texans passed on Reggie Bush, seventh-round pick and wide receiver Marques Colston became America’s tight end, and the Saints cruised to a 10-6 record, the NFC South title, and the franchise’s second playoff win EVER in an energized season in the rehabilitated Superdome.

Oh, and this chick got an F-bomb shown on live national television.

Thanks, “Fuck Da Eagles” girl, for being the pinnacle of the best Saints season ever. Do that again some more this year, ‘kay?