Just as you are, we’re gearing up for the holiday that celebrates challenging authority, blowing shit up, and casually neglecting the rights of women. Independence Day is Wednesday, which totally fucks our week, blah blah blah we’re gonna be lazy assholes.

We’re not posting tomorrow, and we’ll be fortunate to get one post up for Thursday and Friday. We don’t like it either, but this is how it’s going down. Some of us will be out-of-town, or even out-of-country, and you’ll have to split time with the people that put up with our shit in real life. When the withdrawal starts to set in, just remember that training camps will open less than three weeks after we come back, and to use lotion. Or sunscreen. Anything with lubricative properties is good.

And, oh yeah, the contest to pick the owner of KSK’s 14th fantasy team ended Saturday. We received over 11,000 submissions, give or take. The quality of your work was high, and the debate over who deserved to win was (sort of) intense. In the end, it came down to who we thought would make the best addition to our league. By the end of the contest, we had it narrowed down to four people, and the final decision was not unanimous.

We’ll be sharing our favorite submissions with you over the next couple weeks, and you can see what kind of badassery your submission was up against. Plus it helps us keep being lazy. That’s a win-win.

The 14th member of the KSK Fantasy Football League is Sarah, better known as commenter/troublemaker SportsGirl365 from the blog Strike Zones and End Zones. In the end, we liked her style, football knowledge, and her ability to deliver (and receive) trash talk.

Please give Sarah your warmest welcome in the comments.

UPDATE: Sarah’s submission appears below. I think she’s gonna fit right in:


Things I WILL NOT do:

1. Send you naked photos of my tits. They’re average at best.

2. Leave stupid and lame comments on any KSK posts related to the league just to have something to say. (I’ll leave that to Wormfather, Burnsy, and the like.)

3. Forget to set my lineup, leaving in injured and/or bye week players making a jackass of myself and a mockery of the league.

4. Make idiotic trades just because I’m female.

5. Be afraid to call you out if you make any aforementioned idiotic trade offers.

6. Be a homer and fill my team full of Giants. I don’t even want most of them on my team in real life.

Things I WILL do:

1. Send you topless pictures of other girls whose tits are better looking than mine.

2. Make fun of Punter on a weekly basis for entering the Gay Asshat Hot Blogger contest and not making it past the second round.

3. Pay my league fees with a check that won’t bounce.

4. Not be offended when, in a fit of rage after getting his ass kicked by me, BDD calls me a two cent cum dumpster.

5. Unapologetically kick everyone’s ass.

Attached is a photo because, well, if you’re gonna have some pussy in the league she may as well be decent to look at.

Thanks for your time and I look forward to kicking your asses.

Sincerely,

Sarah

Strike Zones and End Zones