Comments on: Try to Tackle the Juice and He’ll Cut Your Ass http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html KSK is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 07:45:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: The Last Unitard http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26490 The Last Unitard Wed, 25 Jul 2007 14:39:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26490 I'll see your Hot Carl Lee and raise you a Joey Brown-eye. I’ll see your Hot Carl Lee and raise you a Joey Brown-eye.

]]> By: Buzzsaw http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26454 Buzzsaw Wed, 25 Jul 2007 03:37:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26454 Player: He Hate Me<br/>Team:The Saints<br/>Mascot: Jesus Player: He Hate Me
Team:The Saints
Mascot: Jesus

]]> By: cowanac http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26441 cowanac Tue, 24 Jul 2007 19:09:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26441 Player: Terrel Owens<br/>Team: The Suicidals<br/>Mascot: Benny the Barbiturate Player: Terrel Owens
Team: The Suicidals
Mascot: Benny the Barbiturate

]]> By: JewDago http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26438 JewDago Tue, 24 Jul 2007 18:11:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26438 Player: Shawne Merriman<br/>Team: Bay Area Collective Rage<br/>Logo: Chris Benoit and his slain family<br/>Mascot: Benoit's reanimated zombie corpse<br/>Celebration: stick a syringe in the ass, murder a fan<br/>Sponsor: Vitamin Water<br/><br/>Player: Michael Vick<br/>Team: New York Red Bulls<br/>Logo: a hose and some frayed, sparking wires<br/>Mascot: a skinned, bleeding pit bull<br/>Celebration: bending fans over a rape stand<br/><br/>Also, the sponsor to the Analrapists should be the iPhone. Player: Shawne Merriman
Team: Bay Area Collective Rage
Logo: Chris Benoit and his slain family
Mascot: Benoit’s reanimated zombie corpse
Celebration: stick a syringe in the ass, murder a fan
Sponsor: Vitamin Water

Player: Michael Vick
Team: New York Red Bulls
Logo: a hose and some frayed, sparking wires
Mascot: a skinned, bleeding pit bull
Celebration: bending fans over a rape stand

Also, the sponsor to the Analrapists should be the iPhone.

]]> By: Pepe http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26436 Pepe Tue, 24 Jul 2007 17:44:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26436 Player: Eugene Robinson<br/>Team: Miami Johns<br/>Logo: Guy in a car with window half down, at night scanning the sidewalks<br/>Mascot: Don Magic Juan<br/>Celebration: Not after the TD, but rather before the game. Reaches for wallet, gets handcuffed ... Player: Eugene Robinson
Team: Miami Johns
Logo: Guy in a car with window half down, at night scanning the sidewalks
Mascot: Don Magic Juan
Celebration: Not after the TD, but rather before the game. Reaches for wallet, gets handcuffed …

]]> By: Burnsy http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26425 Burnsy Tue, 24 Jul 2007 16:43:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26425 Player: Cecil Collins<br/>Team: The Breakers and Enterers<br/>Logo: Your adolescent daughter's bed Player: Cecil Collins
Team: The Breakers and Enterers
Logo: Your adolescent daughter’s bed

]]> By: Jordan Ginsberg http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26424 Jordan Ginsberg Tue, 24 Jul 2007 16:41:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26424 <b>Player:</b> <br/>Terrell Owens<br/><br/><b>Team:</b> <br/>Pillzapoppin'<br/><br/><b>Mascot:</b><br/>Courtney Love<br/><br/><b>Endorsements:</b><br/>Char-Cola, Pfizer Player:
Terrell Owens

Team:
Pillzapoppin’

Mascot:
Courtney Love

Endorsements:
Char-Cola, Pfizer

]]> By: JewDago http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26423 JewDago Tue, 24 Jul 2007 16:30:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26423 Though he'll never make it to the league,<br/><br/>Player: Dominic Jones (formerly of the University of Minnesota)<br/>Team: The Analrapists<br/>Logo: a bed with a passed-out girl face down on it<br/>Mascot: Tobias Funke<br/>TD Celebration: one guy thrusts his pelvis, another mimes taking pictures Though he’ll never make it to the league,

Player: Dominic Jones (formerly of the University of Minnesota)
Team: The Analrapists
Logo: a bed with a passed-out girl face down on it
Mascot: Tobias Funke
TD Celebration: one guy thrusts his pelvis, another mimes taking pictures

]]> By: Mike http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26422 Mike Tue, 24 Jul 2007 16:05:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26422 Player: Gilbert Brown<br/>Team: Miami Flubberbusters<br/>Logo: Fat guy on a couch<br/>Mascot: Jim Belushi<br/><br/>Player: Ryan Leaf<br/>Team: Chicago Success<br/>Logo: Thumbs up with a check mark behind it<br/>Mascot: Charles Rogers and Akili Smith as themselves<br/><br/>Player: Mike Vanderjagt<br/>Team: Indianapolis Drunken Kickers<br/>Logo: Foot kicking a bottle of booze<br/>Mascot: Capitain Morgan Player: Gilbert Brown
Team: Miami Flubberbusters
Logo: Fat guy on a couch
Mascot: Jim Belushi

Player: Ryan Leaf
Team: Chicago Success
Logo: Thumbs up with a check mark behind it
Mascot: Charles Rogers and Akili Smith as themselves

Player: Mike Vanderjagt
Team: Indianapolis Drunken Kickers
Logo: Foot kicking a bottle of booze
Mascot: Capitain Morgan

]]> By: J.L. White http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-juice-and-hell-cut-your.html/comment-page-1#comment-26421 J.L. White Tue, 24 Jul 2007 16:01:00 +0000 http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2007/07/try-to-tackle-the-juice-and-hell-cut-your-ass.html#comment-26421 Player: Brian Bosworth<br/><br/>Team: The Sugar Walls<br/><br/>Logo: a Georgia O'Keefe painting<br/><br/>Mascot: a Linebacker soaked in his own urine.<br/><br/>Team Motto: "You wouldn't hit someone wear wrap-around shades, would you?!" Player: Brian Bosworth

Team: The Sugar Walls

Logo: a Georgia O’Keefe painting

Mascot: a Linebacker soaked in his own urine.

Team Motto: “You wouldn’t hit someone wear wrap-around shades, would you?!”

]]>