There’s nothing worse than heading to a good restaurant and then ordering the wrong thing. This happened to me last week. You know the drill. You order something, and it’s pretty good. Then you take a bite of something the person next to your ordered, and a giant OH FUCK sign flashes in your head. Then you spend the rest of the meal in a deep state of regret, hoping the person next to you doesn’t finish their dish so you can pounce on it like a homeless person on half a drumstick.
Well, that isn’t happening in this draft. That’s right: it’s the restaurant where you’re eating your last meal. You’re going to die. How? Doesn’t matter. Death penalty. Cancer. Really bad hangnail. Whatever it is, you ain’t living much longer, so here’s your last chance to enjoy some food and libations. And the tab is on God, so you can order as much as you please, and stay as long as you please.
The rules? Pick a restaurant. It must still currently exist. After you pay the tab, you drop dead on the spot. So no, “I’ll pick any restaurant in Vegas and then go bang a hooker afterwards!” And no picking restaurants located in strip clubs and shit. Shut the fuck up and concentrate on the food. If you pick a chain restaurant, and they can range from McDonald’s to Nobu, all of its locations are off the board. Once you pick a joint, you must wait 10 picks until you choose another.
My pick is Murray’s Steakhouse in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Murray’s may not be the world’s greatest restaurant. In fact, I’m quite sure it is not. Some in town even prefer Manny’s for steaks. I’m picking this one straight for sentimental reasons. I ate here when I was 14. Ordered the silver butter knife porterhouse. And you know what? You really could cut it with a butter knife. Fucking. Nice. Joey Browner sat three tables over from us. Joey Browner was a black belt in karate and my favorite Viking of all time. I bet he too has a wallet that says Bad Motherfucker. Did I have a good meal? I did.
Your turn.
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Sweet, that’s definitely what I was seeking for! You just spared me alot of looking around.
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Extranormal Especial de Brujeria, Magia negra en Cementerios, 28 febrero 2010
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15 miles outside of crested butte
garlic mike’s
cream of mushroom soup and a coalminer’s steak
ate there to the point of paralysis a couple times as a kid, then made the pilgrimage back two winters ago. nicole richie would be pushing 200 lbs within a week if she stopped at this place
Lou Malnati’s > Giordano’s. Hence I will pick Lou Malnati’s.
Mamma Lucia’s in Baltimore. (Right off Joppa Road)
Best pizza in the world, Philly-like cheesesteaks, friendly folks, and because I’ve been there so much, free brews.
I’m late to this party so I’ll pick a few…
Daniel NYC
Joe’s Pizza in NYC
Campanile in L.A.
Sushi Nozawa in L.A.
La Taqueria in San Francisco (all y’all talkin bout Chipotle should be ashamed)
George V and Aux Lyonnais in Paris
Props to Drew for a great draft, particularly the Tal Bagels pick.
The fact that I can’t even see straight, yet no one has called Dreamland BBQ 17 hours later, just makes me sad.
Everyone who called a rib joint should be ashamed. Ain’t nothin like em nowhere.
-Sagerbombs
This is a good one for the fatasses like me.
I’d like to eat my last meal at Japanese Hibachi Steakhouse, no I change my mind, because I can hardly get through a meal of that for some reason without shitting my pants on the car ride home, Irritable Bowell is a terrible thing.
My last meal, would be at Ruth Chris steakhouse. Jesus, it’s perfect.
One more pick – The Burger Bar in Vegas. Best burger joint in town!
The Little Dooey in Starkville, MS. Great BBQ.
To recap:
1) Smith & Wollensky
2) Churrascaria Plataforma
3) Havana Central
4) Bloody Mary’s
5) Negril Village
6) Junior’s
7) Ruby Tuesday’s
8) Blockheads
@awful chief
I had to take it. That’s my spot.
With my final pick one day later, I’ll take Blockheads on 3rd ave b/n 33rd & 34th st. in NYC.
Great Mexican food, cheap drinks and a roof deck for me to enjoy my last meal before the EMTs come for me.
Langer’s Deli in L.A. World’s best Pastrami sandwich.
Salumi – Seattle. There just aren’t words to describe the sandwiches. To call the meat ‘perfect’ is to set the bar too low.
Port O’Call – New Orleans
Dammit, I’m late, and I’m picking more than one. Bite me.
1. Harry Carey’s – Damn good steak. Great pasta, and the cheese plate made me want to die of awesome.
2. El Taco Real – Hammond, IN. Mexican food just like my Grandma made me when I was a kid. Line stretches out the door most nights.
3. Piece – I’m pretty certain this is New Haven style pizza, but I don’t give a fuck. It’s GOOD. And I can get it with BBQ sauce. Then I don’t have to share.
Multiple double sausage chili cheesburgers from the original Ron’s Hamburgers and Chili on 15th street in Tulsa, OK. A distant second would be anything from the Filiberto’s breakfast menu, locations throughout Arizona and southern California, because God intended for bacon to be deep-fried.
ESPNZone…
Baltimore.
There’s a Chinese place nearby called Ving Hao that is the best restaurant ever. Big fucking portions = fuck yeah.
I have also banged every woman I’ve taken to Blue Water Grill.
Of course, we’d been married for a few years at the time, so probably not much of a coup there.
I’m extremely late to this (and thus missed my #1 courtesy of BDD) but I’ll give a quick rundown:
1) St. John Bar & Restaurant – London
2) L’Atelier de Joel Robuchon – Vegas or Paris
3) Pierre Gagnaire – Paris
Blue Water Grill in Union Square(NYC).
It’s the only place I’ve ever been to where I can actually eat the seafood.
And, every girl I’ve ever taken there I ended up banging. So at least I would have the hope of having sex before ultimately meeting some type of Tony Soprano-like demise.
The Liberty Cafe inside White Cross Drugs on the Las Vegas Strip at 3 a.m. This used to be my late night hangout when I lived in Sin City. It’s at the seedy end of the Strip so there are plenty of strippers, junkies, dealers, hookers and pimps around, along with busted gamblers and cops on the graveyard shift along with other assorted human flotsam . And you can get a chili cheeseburger with a side of onion rings for $6.
Fatso’s Pizza in Phoenix. Best pizza in town…
I love reading these draft pick posts. I’m a man who’s wallet wouldn’t be able to keep up with his tastebuds, so I can’t speak on certain high-priced establishments which the insides will never be seen by me unless I manage to win a Booker or Oscar or something…
But I love a good burger, and the best one I’ve has was at Hodad’s in San Diego (OB livin’ baby!). All I know is that they’re responsible for the last 20 lbs. that I just shed.
I’ve got upscale mexican cuisine covered, but who wouldn’t want to go out while choking down a wicked Chicken Fajita Burrito at the best hole-in-the-wall burrito joint in town?
Final pick:
THE TACO AND BURRITO HOUSE (chicago, ashland & fullerton)
It’s gloroiusly small and dank, but the food is fan-fucking-tastic. The best being the aforementioned chicken fajita burrito.
1. FRONTERA GRILL
2. COLD STONE CREAMERY
3. HAROLD’S CHICKEN SHACK #88
4. YE OLDE CHESHIRE CHEESE
5. THE TACO & BURRITO HOUSE
Adios amigos!
ps – For honorable mention, I’m taking the MAPLE TREE INN, which is the only good cajun food I’ve ever had outside of NOLA. If I could remember any of those places, I would’ve picked them but its been a loooong time.
sea critters
in FL yumm
good food and dolphins swim by while you eat!
For all you disbelievers:
http://www.osmanandjoes.com/
Go to it and dine gloriously
Three Words: Steak. ‘N. Egg.
I can’t believe with all the people from D.C. this wasn’t picked. Such a no brainerd, I’m dissapointed in all of you.
My last meal would consist of the classic steak and egg, medium rare and over easy, and a side of biscuits in gravy topped off with a Tennessee Scramble for desert.
Hopefully my arteries will clog and I’ll have a heart attack before they put me in the chair.
http://www.duckfat.com/menu.html
DUCK FAT!
Yes, I will have the duck fat poutine. That’s fries made with duck fat, cheese curds, and duck fat gravy.
Jewbacca speaks truth. there is no shame in plaigarism, when the author from whom you are stealing is right. take me to salt lick and driftwood, tx. plastic plate upon plate and bowl upon bowl..let me bring my own beer in ice cold cans and then calmly pass away with ‘cue-sauce stained shirt and a full belly.
Fleetwood, Ann Arbor.
I still think my Supperclub pick is the winner — thanks, Slash, for recognizing true genius when you see it — but since everyone’s talking about steaks and NYC, I’ve got to give a shout out to the Strip House on E. 12th.
I’ve been to all the other ones mentioned here — Luger’s, Smith and Wollensky, Mark Joseph’s — and Strip House puts them to shame.
The NY strip is the best steak in town, but the sides are what really elevates this place to nirvana status. Truffle cream spinach. Goose fat potatoes. Sauteed mushrooms that would make you punch your own mother.
Perfect place for a last meal.
Angelo’s in Little Italy.
Atomic Wings, NYC
If I’m going to die right afterwards, I might as well die while hallucinating from the hottest wings you can buy. Atomic wings + no digestion issues = win win
jackin’, nice with the selection of Junior’s.
Final.
Elijah’s in downtown Wilmington, NC.
5 pounds of chilled shrimp, 4 bottles of Pinot Grigio, I can fall over the railing and let the Cape Fear River take my remains down to Fort Fisher….
2nd choice: Saul’s Deli in New York City. artery clogging pastrami… aaaarrrrgggghhhh…
The Pimento Grove
Since (a.) I don’t care about playing by the rules, and (b.) I’m not too picky about what I eat, I’d like to be eating at Springfield’s swankiest restaurant in town. Hobnobing with Kent Brockman, laughing at Krusty’s jokes, getting hypnotized by Mesmerino into unlocking a repressed memory, and grabbing on Edna Krabappel’s breats. (Did you see The Simpsons Movie yet? She has first-grade knockers. Quite the couger, she is.)
Ruby Tuesday’s
It know it’s a chain but I’ve got three words for ya…
TRIPLE.
PRIME.
BURGER.
Give me 3 of those and I WILL have a coronary right there at the table.
Dave & Busters, because If I’m gonna die I might as well get hammered eat mediocre food and blow my wad on video games.
1. Les Halles
2. Bison Witches
3. Porcao Churasceria
4. Nico’s Burritos
5. Crif Dog
6. Soul Feathers
7. Dave & Buster’s
Now see, if I’m in Springfield I’d have to go with Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag. I’d have a delicious deep-fried wine glass.
Has it been 10 picks? Who cares….
Pick #4 of my 5 pick last meal extravaganza is:
YE OLDE CHESHIRE CHEESE (London)
England is not renowned for their cuisine, but I could die happy after having the Steak and Ale pie with a few pints of lukewarm Carlsburg. The fact that this is probably the oldest pub in metro london (1667) and was frequented by Charles Darwin doesn’t hurt the charm either.
1. Frontera Grill
2. Cold Stone Creamery
3. Harold’s Chicken Shack #88
4. Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese
5. ?
I prefer The Cloth Napkin over The Frying Dutchmen when in Spriengfield. Otherwise, Gary Danko’s in SF. And anyone who orders a filet mignon at anything other than “rare” is a clostomy bag.
Poland booth at Ethnic Village at the Illinois State Fair (this includes a trip to the Beer stand, and the milkshake stand)
I’m ending the draft with Chickies and Pete’s-wooden bowls of mussels in red sauce and the best crab fries in the world. I want to die at the one located inside Lincoln Financial Field while watching Brian Dawkins stomp on Eli Manning’s nuts.
1. Buddakan
2. Tony Luke’s
3. Chabba Thai
4. Jamaican Jerk Hut
5. Chickies and Pete’s
Just a note. No one picked McDonalds…I’m not, but thought it would be interesting to note.
Commanders Palace in New Orleans..everything is GREAT!
Yeah, dick_gozinia, Harold’s is pretty tight.
I’ll see your Chicago and raise you with Su Casa in the city. Some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever had, and I lived in south Texas for ten years.
1) Carson’s Ribs in downtown Chicago. I live in California and I’d walk here for my last meal.
OK….any of you Chicagoans will know this place. I’m making my 3rd pick:
HAROLD’S CHICKEN SHACK.
#22 is right by my house, but I’ve always believed that the further into the ‘hood you travel, the better the Harold’s Chicken Shack. So I’m going to #88 on MLK Drive.
#1. Frontera Grill
#2. Cold Stone Creamery
#3. Harold’s Chicken Shack
The White Spot in Charlottesville, VA. No…this is not as RaFaWa pick, the name of the place is the White Spot.
The food isn’t all that great, but you have to eat there at least once before you leave town.
The Gus-Burger (6 oz. burger with thick American Cheese and a fried egg) will kill you…literally.
Russian Tea Room, NYC
I was there 1998-2005 I have a feeling like we likely crossed paths but am too lazy to really investigate.
Soul Feathers will do it for me. Everything on that menu is dilectable. As much as I loved this draft I gotta run.
Chaisson’s (Fayetteville, NC) – one of everything would probably be enough to induce the end of life.
bojangles if you dont know, you dont know
Magnolia Grill in Durham, NC. Ridiculously good grits souffle, and the best desserts in the world.
Since I’m late to the game, and Julia seems to be snagging all the good Philly spots… I’m going with Lacroix At The Rittenhouse. I need more money. And I believe BDD already snagged El Bulli, the bastard.
McSorley’s NYC
A sleeve of saltines, cheese, raw onions, and some spicy mustard… along with about 100 dark beers. Can’t think of a better place for a last stand. I’m usually blacked out when I leave anyway and wake up wishing I were dead, sooo…
http://www.mcsorleysnewyork.com/
Thanks for letting me live. 1996 to 2004…undergrad and grad school. At least, I think it was 1996-2004. My memory is shot. Too many nights at the Buffet.
Pick #4: Las Mananitas in Cuernavaca, Mexico. Salsa made tableside. Nice.
I think Otto Man wins it with that Amsterdam pick.
Ted’s in OKC. Despite the name, pretty damn good Mexican food.
Im gonna have to go with Emerils in orlando, on the city walk. best meal ive ever had.
Rum Jungle in Vegas – 11pm dinner, watcing the women dance up high with their white shorts half way up their asses – all you can eat Brazilian – down about 4 bottles of wine and be smiling when my face hits the floor.
No one has taken Houston’s? Love that steakhouse. It’s the only place where I can spend $50 or more for lunch or dinner for two and not feel ripped off. The prime rib, steaks, and fries are worth dying for.
(I would have taken Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles if I’d have gotten up earlier.)
Cha Cha Chicken- Santa Monica. Jerk Chicken Enchiladas and cantaloupe juice… yes and yes.
McDonaugh’s Seafood, Galway, Ireland.
Best fish and chips in the world.
When were you out there? Just curious, because your itinerary looks remarkably close to mine. Are you perhaps that clone that I failed to drown after performing “The New Transported Man”?
Paul’s Pasta in Groton, CT. Only good restaurant near my college. Great view of the Long Island sound and amazing linguini.
Hackney’s in Chicago. Game over!
Gito’s on the Hill in StL. Gnocchi and several fishbowl Buds. Mmmm…
The only redeeming thing about that whole shithole river town.
Giovanni’s on the Hill in St. Louis, MO. One of the best Italian restaurants in the country.
The captain of the waitstaff made my friends and I feel like gods.
I have been there four times, and the veal and pasta is to die for.
The strawberry flambe for dessert was divine and the server even took the time to teach me to make it myself. I still use it as a hook when I have girls over for dinner.