Yep, that’s right. An actual discussion of football right on this here site. Never thought you’d see the day, did you?
The best part of fantasy football is how it helps get us, the football-bereft citizens, through the horrors of late June to August. You’d be surprised how much time you can eat up convincing yourself Wes Welker will be a great sleeper pick. And so, let us get the ball rolling with a rough draft. No stat sheets in front of you. No refreshing your memory of last season. No checking bye weeks. This one’s all gut. Consider it a fundamentals drill.
The rules: Let us assume this is a nonkeeper league. You start 1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 RB/WR, 1 TE, 1 K, and 1 D, with 5 bench spots. 13 players total. No points for receptions.
1pt. = 10 yds run/rec or 25 yds passing
4pts. = passing TD
6pts. = run/rec TD, Defense/ST TD
-2pts. = fumble or INT
3pts. = FG
5pts. = FG 50+
1pt. = extra point or sack
PICK 1 PLAYER ONLY, THEN WAIT 12 PICKS UNTIL YOU MAKE ANOTHER SELECTION.
Oh, and I’ll be taking LT2 now. Suckers. He’s fun because he makes the Seahawks look dumb!
Have at it.
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Jerome Bettis, wit GNC Megamen Multi-Vitamin
i still need a defense. i take s.d.’s
Alright…so far….
WR – Bernard Berrian….thats it.
Championship!
te – todd heap
Damnit you guys started way too fucking early.
Bernard Berrian.
Greg Oden
Wait 12 picks? We couldn’t possibly accomplish this unless you expect me to work late…and that just ain’t not happenin’.
WR2 – Santana Moss. Who’s the QB is Washington? Who fuckin’ cares…that dude is fast as hell!
WR/RB – Mike Furrey – He’s a white wide receiver and he plays for the Lions. And I’m sure there are good things about him as well.
TE – Tony Gonzalez – Did we just stop drafting TEs after Gates? Oh well.
D – Seattle Seahawks – They play the 49ers and Cardinals 4 times. Sign me up!
K – Lawrence Tynes – I have no Bengals, so I needed a legit felon to round out my starting roster. He’s born in Scotland and loves to break the faces of bouncers…he’s NY giants (ass)kicker Lawrence Tynes!
QB – Matt Hasselback
RB1 – Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 – Cedric Benson
WR1 – Chris Chambers
WR2 – Santana Moss
WR/RB-Mike Furrey
TE – Tony Gonzales
DEF – Seattle Seahawks
K – Lawrence Tynes
Bear Grylls, i also have a man crush on him.
Ok screw it. Matt Leinart and Shockey. I’ll take 2 because nobody cares anymore…
WR-Plax
RB-Dunn
QB-Leinart
TE-Shockey
I suggest a commentor draft that begins after 9 am Westcoast time?
Beacuse its unfair to live in perpetual sunshine and beautiful weather.
I’ll take
Chargers D
Hines Ward WR
Kellen Winslow TE
Jeff Wilkins K
and now I shall return to the patio that so graciously hosted the beginning of the end of my friday.
Next draft should have naked cheerleaders.
i know he sucked last year, bounce back this year ? cadillac williams
Has it been 12 picks yet? Oh, fuck it, it’s close enough. I pick Dominic Rhodes, RB, now spiralling down into the pit of dispair known as the Oakland Raiders.
I’m drafting Sebastian Janikowski.
He gets the good drugs for a kicker.
OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me… David Boston
(Crap, is he still in the league?)
My team – all fat – all the time
WR – Chris Chambers. Trent Green may be old and grizzled, but he’s still got passing skillz (with a ‘z’). Chambers should be a nice addition.
QB – Matt Hasselback
RB1 – Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 – Cedric Benson
WR1 – Chris Chambers
I am officially back from lunch (and drunk) so…
4th pick – Ronnie Brown
Personal Summary
Jamal Lewis RB
Drew Brees QB
Houshmanzadeh WR
Ronnie Brown RB
my 3rd pick, my QB… gosh this slate has been picked pretty clean.
How about Chris Simms? Guy’s going to come back with a vengance this year.
im still have a game plan… but yeah im starting think that this getting a bit pointless at this time…
I think the problem here is that once the first ten picks were made, few people wanted to take part and start in with Antowain Smith as their top pick.
Warrick Dunn… always gets drafted too late.
i need to update my self
r.bush – rb
w. parker – rb
m. bulger – qb
t. owens -wr
l. evans – wr
a. johnson -wr
maybe if i’m lucky my picks will be done by sunday. can’t belive this has taken so long. go play intramurals, brother !
@grungedave…I was just about to say the same thing. Who would have thunk that a fantasy football draft on a football website would bomb so bad.
I’m gonna go draft some digleberries.
this draft is a bigger bust than Tony Mandarich.
beaverfever, i’m a cal alum, i’m more mad at myself than you…
with my second pick, i take another rookie with upside… WR Calvin Johnson. Damn me for taking a freaking Lion.
I’ll likely be making my next pick sometime on Monday, so here’s the current status:
QB Philip Rivers
RB Shaun Alexander
RB Rudi Johnson
RB Joseph AddaI
WR Steve Smith
WR Torry Holt
TE Antonio Gates
Given my history with fantasy football, half of these players will be on crutches by week 3 and one will be in jail. My money’s on Rudi. He’s been quiet, but he’s a Bengal.
ben, can you blame me for being so sensitive ? after all i am a bills fan.
OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me… Daunte Culpepper
My team – all fat – all the time
I just have a feeling, and my late start doesn’t give me much choices here….
Adrian Peterson, RB (there’s two of them, so I refer to the rookie for the Vikings).
same freakin difference, two northern market teams no one cares about, my bad.
OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me… Ron Dayne
lynch was drafted by buffalo, not gb
It’s been two hours, and I think a dozen picks. So … Philip Rivers.
This late in the game? Time for value picks.
Marshawn Lynch, GB Packers
RB #2 is Cedric Benson. He’s like Ricky Williams without all the bong hits.
QB – Matt Hasselback
RB1 – Maurice Jones-Drew
RB2 – Cedric Benson
So far so good….
Fuck protocol, I want Barry Sanders. Comeback year!
andre johnson
OOOOOOOOOO, I like the FAT one..like me… Lendale White
homer pick…Cutler
again, officially over an hour since my last pick. still respecting protocol.
Marques Colston
This is hard.
Plaxico Burress….
late as usual but at least there is some nice picks left on the board.
John Kitna.
I’ll take the Bengals Defence…I need a reason to watch the news.
Oh snap. Devon Hester.
is it too early to draft Chris Henry?
You’re out of control, UM!
Which makes an Ankiel pick pretty apt.
Rick Ankiel
Ugh, the waiting is killing me.
Houshmazilli…….championship!
With the first TE of the draft …. Antonio Gates
Gay Mafia? And no has taken Garcia yet?
Marion Barber III
I know I didnt make any picks but i know who i WOULDNT pick, fuck Tommie Harris and the Bears D, turing on Sex Cannon like that.
DeAngelo Williams
wv – ccpeor
Tony Romo
I’ll be rocking the Palmer to Johnson combo all season long.
Almost as good as shitshow’s Manning to Harrison combo….almost.
Lee Evans
Can’t wait. It’s been more than 15 minutes, I’ll be drunk at lunch before I get 3 rounds……
2nd pick – Drew Brees
Always eases it in like a gentleman….
i plan on following protocol. it’s been an hour since my last pick. one pick before i go again. waiting 12 picks is getting painful
are we still waiting 12 picks?
Roy Williams.
And my verification word is Coxpyret. Gay mafia?
I was stunned Ocho Cinco lasted so long.
So … time’s officially come to a standstill, right?
How the fuck did I overlook Chad Johnson?!? Good pick Hercules.
It’s a crying shame that Big Daddy Drew didn’t take his half brother Maurice Jones-Drew. So, I will.
QB – Matt Hasselback
RB – Maurice Jones-Drew
Chad Johnson.
Jamal Lewis.
Browns win division this year, Superbowl next year, Brady Quinn wears evening gown to parade.
Larry Fitzgerald and his free crackers.
No one’s taken Joseph Addai? Really?
Alright, Addai.
wv from koolaid: g’dam! x-uh!
did we lose BDD ? haven’t seen him pick since he took brady.
let’s see… I have Steven Jackson, Willis and his offspring, and Sex Cannon (and screw you insignificant life – I got Rexy first).
guess that means someone needs to catch the cannon’s bombs. Then again, we don’t employ defensive backs here…
so, I’ll take Reggie Wayne.
Jerrico Cochery…dude’s going to have a killer season.
Brandon Jacobs
It’s either that or Reuben Droughns, so don’t give me the red ass.
This is some bullshit… should’ve known a dickhole like BDD would set up a fantasy league and then not bother to tell anyone what time the draft started. And so here I am, holding my dick and wondering what’s up, only to realize that the draft is now 70+ comments in. And of course BDD sees fit to give himself first pick and take LDT. Fucking great.
Since I’ve got to salvage something here, I’m taking Vince FUCKING Young. Why? Because all VY does is win football games, and I’m sure that shit translates to fantasy somehow…
wv – pxehip
sloth, at this rate i’ll be lucky to get 3 more picks in by 5pm.
I’m not even going to get involved. You guys have fun with this. I have to fly today, so I could only get no more than 3 picks in before my flight.
i will take brett farve,
oh we lose for picks never mind then.