She’s Cognizant Of Us. She’s Really, Really Cognizant Of Us
As has been mentioned in this space recently, we six of KSK have been toiling away at this for round about a year now, with little reward or recompense beyond basking in our own pissed excellence. Sure, there have been awards, drugs and a measure of blogosphere fame, but what does it all mean without a connection to the progenitors of our efforts? Those two noble, buoyant souls who formed a totemic dyad - sideline reporter and debauched former quarterback - that inspired unspeakable things in all of this.
Caveman caught up with our blogfather back in February and snapped a photo with him before Namath could say he was going out for a pack of smokes and be out of our lives for good. But Suzy? She has been defined by her silence, her absence, her nose. Long have we waited for some motherly validation from our Patron Saint.
Well, shucks, here it is.
The incident made Kolber something of a cult figure. She’s now the namesake of a sports blog called “Kissing Suzy Kolber.” She said she’s seen it, but “I rarely, even beyond rarely, read anything about myself.”
Now, flattering as it is that the Patron Saint is vaguely, even beyond vaguely, aware of the occasional football satire and commenter drafts being carried out in her name, one gets the idea that her take on it is that this blog is some sort of chronicle of the goings-on in her life. I’d like to think that that’s what she wants it to be and is miffed that it isn’t. Certainly there have been times that we’ve wondered about ol’ Suze but, on the whole, she doesn’t make up much of our content. Clearly, she’s frustrated about not reading more about herself and is hellbent about doing something about it.
What then, dear commenters, will Suzy be doing to garner our attention?
Tags: bad MS Paint, patron saint, sacrilicious, xmas ape
June 5th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
A journalistic exposé of the criminal justice system, broadcast from deep inside Paris Hilton.
What? Too soon?
June 5th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
Who did that sweet photoshop work on the picture.
June 5th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
releasing a home made sex tape (like paris hilton, i see a theme developing here today) with lots of hot lesbian action would definitely garner some attention here.
June 5th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Suzy can kiss my Irish ass if she doesnt like this blog… its the only one IVE found that isnt gay.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I don’t get it. She says in the article that she’s always wanted to be in sports, but isn’t she doing NASCAR now?
June 5th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
I think a suicide bombing in the WWL cafeteria oughtta do the trick.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Serving as a power bottom in LA County Correction Facility for Women.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
I know I should not eat thee, but…
June 5th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
How is Adam so flaccid?
June 5th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I know I should not eat thee, but…
Mmmmmm. Sacrilicious.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Heh…she likes “a long nose” on her car.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Start “line-drying” her undergarments.
Pick up an endorsement contract from a Tequila distillery.
Drink a dozen Tequila shots (non-endorsed) until 1:30 a.m., start a bar fight with at least one other woman, get her picture taken not wearing any panties.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Elaine: No. “Suze!” I mean, “Susie!” “Suzanne!” “Suzanna.” Fine! But there is no, way, I’m gonna be a Suze.
Jerry: No. No Suze.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
getting a picture taken with no panties is always a good way to get some attention. btw, shaved or unshaved ? any thoughts ?
June 5th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
In related news, Scarlett Johansson is aware that I pleasure myself to her pictures, but she rarely, even beyond rarely, is not stuffing some a-lister’s cock inside her to care.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
Hanging out with Melissa Stark trying to get some tips on how to have sex with a group of drunken lacrosse players.
Once she figures it out, becoming the post-game entertainment at all MLL games.
wv: caitika. The name for Paris’ new super-disease.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
She shoudl have done the obvious on that fatful day and kiss this sites blogfather. Fuck that, that’s Joe Willy Namoth, she shoudl have blown him on the spot.
Now, she’s the fredo in this story.
June 5th, 2007 at 1:40 pm
As for whether she might one day shift from sports to news:
“No,” she said without hesitation. “I’ve always loved sports. That’s what I’ve always wanted to do. It’s the only reason I’m on television.”
I’m a sports gal, mama. A sideline jockey. We think differently than the news and weather girls… we’re a different breed.
June 5th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
I think she needs to mercilessly beat your ass in a March Madness pool and exact her revenge.
June 5th, 2007 at 3:13 pm
I only she know the pooping on towels that went on under her name she would change her tune
June 5th, 2007 at 3:21 pm
I smell a lawsuit. Wait–that’s the Indian food I had for lunch. Sorry.
June 5th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
she could take up dog fighting…would work well for KSK on a few levels
June 5th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
<lindarichman>
Kissing Suzy Kolber is neither about kissing nor Suzy Kolber. Discuss.
</lindarichman>
There. I feel better.
June 5th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Find *pictures* of her…
June 5th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
@beaverfever– she shaved KSK into her pubic region. And dyed it orange, blue and gray.
June 5th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
She could do a model shoot with KSK clothing on! Baby-T, thong, T-shirt, hat, etc.
Totally pitch that to her.
June 5th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
I’ve got a list of things Suzy should be doing, but they’re mostly illegal, entirely immoral and in some case include the risk of painful (though pleasurable) death.
Or she could be photographed stripping at a gay nightclub a la Paige Davis. Better still, she could be photographed stripping Paige Davis.
June 5th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
What’s the big deal? A sportswriter asked her about the blog site. She’s right. You rarely write anything specifically about her. At least she’s check out the site. Now get over yourselves and stop acting like asses.
June 6th, 2007 at 12:25 am
They’re not acting.
June 6th, 2007 at 1:03 am
Suzy kolber interviewed me when i played d 3 football……… that’s not true.
June 6th, 2007 at 1:52 am
“I rarely, even beyond rarely, read anything about myself.”
This obviously means that Suzy reads the blog religiously, but hardly ever sees any content on the site about herself.
June 6th, 2007 at 4:03 am
Clearly, she’s going to get plastered and make out with Joe Montana during a sideline interview. Alack! Broadway Joe was just a little ahead of his time.
June 6th, 2007 at 5:05 am
@the sporting orange: Nice bold tags. Way to be, um, bold.
You realize, now, that if we ever have a smackoff, I have one hand tied behind my back because nothing rhymes with orange.