Of Kenny Irons And Portable Midgets For Human Trafficking
And suddenly, Kenny Irons of the Bengals is our favorite player. Reader Joel W. explains:
A few weeks ago I was working check-in at LAX airport for the rookie conference held in LA. JaMarcus Russell never said a word, Dwayne Jarrett dissed Keyshawn, and Bengals running back Kenny Irons brought more luggage than I’ve ever seen in my life. I asked him what was in the luggage, an innocent question, which prompted Kenny to hoist the luggage and proudly proclaim,
“I got a midget in here to suck my dick.”
Long live the Bengals!
Yes, but did he pack his bags, or did someone pack them for him? You never know how a dwarf prostitute will get into your Samsonite. I know a similar problem plagues Pedro Martinez on road trips.
On a side note, the contest entries from you readers have been absolutely stellar of late (except for you, LadyAndrea). So much so that we will be creating a second nonkeeper league for the runners up. I need two leagues anyhow. So thank you for doing a complete 180 and giving us some fun tips during the summer doldrums. It’s user-generated content! Like Al Gore’s Current network, only with midgets sucking your dick!
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, kenny irons, midgets in suitcases, upon further review i should have searched for midget i
June 21st, 2007 at 2:07 pm
“I got a midget in here to suck my dick.” , i’ll have to remember that one next time soemone asks me what i have in my bag.
June 21st, 2007 at 2:08 pm
MIDGET NIPPLE!
June 21st, 2007 at 2:08 pm
They confiscated my midget at Hartsfield last time I tried to get on a plane with it. Fucking preferential treatment.
June 21st, 2007 at 2:12 pm
“Does Aquafina make a dog-sized bottle?”
- Michael Vick
June 21st, 2007 at 2:19 pm
Runaway Midget on DVD? Really?
How in the hell did they turn that book into a movie?
June 21st, 2007 at 2:26 pm
Runaway Midget:
The Story of Eric Mangini after a sub-.500 07-08 season
June 21st, 2007 at 2:27 pm
@the kid, Mangini isnt a midgit, he’s a fucking penguin, get it right! Damnit, show some respek.
June 21st, 2007 at 2:27 pm
bridget the midget has been on the howard stern show many times. she is a legend in midget porn, the jenna jameson of midget porn stars if you will. back to porn we go.
June 21st, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Jordan wins.
June 21st, 2007 at 2:34 pm
How come this shit always ends up in porn. I could start talking about Jesus and we’d end up talking about some porn star that Johnny Damion layed.
I like that about this site.
June 21st, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Hopefully he learned at the rookie conference that you should never check your midget luggage… always keep them in your carry-on.
June 21st, 2007 at 3:15 pm
over a half hour without a comment. don’t tell me people are actually getting work done.
June 21st, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Alright, since we’re desperate — the midget angle got this movie line stuck in my head.
June 21st, 2007 at 3:46 pm
What’s it say in the Bible? “Let he without sin toss the first dwarf”? Right?
June 21st, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Image search. Right. Like that’s not from your personal collection.
June 21st, 2007 at 4:32 pm
if even a third of these stories are true, then im completely satisfied. if the roethlisberger story is true, then my life is complete
June 21st, 2007 at 7:08 pm
You know - I could use a handy midget, what with my traveling every week.
Like this week in lovely Cincinnati. I’ve stayed in my hotel room to avoid being shot, stabbed, and/or mugged by a Bengal. I could use a good midget to help pass the time.
And by the way, Skyline Cincinnati chili sucks my balls. I tried it after all these years of listening to people talk so highly of it, and it completely sucks balls. It’s some of the worst tasting shit I have ever had in my life. It’s so bad, I had to try it again tonight, and a completely different place.
Different joint; same runny, watered down, bland, unimaginative slop. This stuff is so bad that I’ve run out of adjectives to describe it.
June 21st, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Skyline Chili was created for people who think normal chili is too tangy, too delicious, and too devoid of crappy macaroni. It has all the charm of Spaghetti-Os and all the taste of haggis.
You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Bengals players are getting into so much trouble lately just to make people start associating the city of Cincinnati with wanton crime instead of that crappy chili. It’d be a trade-up.
June 21st, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Midgets huh? I fucked em’.
June 22nd, 2007 at 3:28 am
You can have all the midget booty.
It a little known fact that midgets can’t wipe their own ass because they have those stubby stubby arms. So what’s that ass like? Think, man, think.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
[...] one of our favorite players of all time, Kenny Irons, presumably reenacting a scene from his favorite Wreckx-N-Effect video. No midget sucking his dick [...]