As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Mark Cuban has come up with the historically successful idea of a pro football league to compete with the NFL. Although we here at KSK are die-hard NFL fans and junior brownshirts in Der Kommissar Goodell’s Third Reich, we also have other interests — namely, frottage, zoological snuff films, and questionable business ideas.

Earlier today, the six of us brainstormed names for some North American franchises we think would attract fans in tomorrow’s UFL. Mr. Cuban, feel free to use any of these, totally free of charge. All we really want is a link on BlogMaverick!


Miami Rafters… Orlando Drifters… San Francisco Treats… Utah Whites… Birmingham Church Fire… Portland Dinghys… Quad City DJs… Tacoma Aroma… Fort Lauderdale Foam Party… Memphis Homeless… Lincoln Logjammin’

New York Overheard Comments… Baltimore Barksdales… Omaha Loblaws… South Memphis Leprechauns… Grand Rapids Rapids… St. Louis White Flight… Brooklyn Negroes… Daytona Beaches… Tijuana Donkeys… Detroit Lions

Alabama FatKid HawgDroppers… Ogdenville Monorail… Mexico City Pollution… Milwaukee White Punks on Dope… San Jose Joses… Kansas City Flyovers… Cleveland Steamers… Louisiana Hurricanes… Michigan Breakdowns

Hawaii Lepers… Virginia Gameness… Mattoon Bangs… Dallas Dallassians… Houston Houstonians… San Antonio Antonians… Toronto Informers… Vancouver Salmon… Winnipeg Pegboys… Los Angeles Fucksticks… Camden Dystopia

Fort Worth Folly… Shreveport Flood… Alaska Xanax… New Jersey Asbestos Dumpers… Scranton Schrutes… Des Moines Huffers… Las Vegas Vig… Fort Wayne Flight Risks… Key West Rough Riders… Fire Island Ferries… Columbus Claretts

Boise Ennui… Durham Spandex… Lubbock Homophobes… Albany Men’s Free Clinic… Hoboken Handjobs… Malibu Treehorns… Orlando Stokkes… Boston Relapse… Baton Rouge Uninsurables… Atlantic City Stinkpalm

There you go. Only three Katrina jokes: I think we showed considerable restraint. Your submissions in the comments, please.