As you’ve no doubt heard by now, Mark Cuban has come up with the historically successful idea of a pro football league to compete with the NFL. Although we here at KSK are die-hard NFL fans and junior brownshirts in Der Kommissar Goodell’s Third Reich, we also have other interests — namely, frottage, zoological snuff films, and questionable business ideas.
Earlier today, the six of us brainstormed names for some North American franchises we think would attract fans in tomorrow’s UFL. Mr. Cuban, feel free to use any of these, totally free of charge. All we really want is a link on BlogMaverick!
Miami Rafters… Orlando Drifters… San Francisco Treats… Utah Whites… Birmingham Church Fire… Portland Dinghys… Quad City DJs… Tacoma Aroma… Fort Lauderdale Foam Party… Memphis Homeless… Lincoln Logjammin’
New York Overheard Comments… Baltimore Barksdales… Omaha Loblaws… South Memphis Leprechauns… Grand Rapids Rapids… St. Louis White Flight… Brooklyn Negroes… Daytona Beaches… Tijuana Donkeys… Detroit Lions
Alabama FatKid HawgDroppers… Ogdenville Monorail… Mexico City Pollution… Milwaukee White Punks on Dope… San Jose Joses… Kansas City Flyovers… Cleveland Steamers… Louisiana Hurricanes… Michigan Breakdowns
Hawaii Lepers… Virginia Gameness… Mattoon Bangs… Dallas Dallassians… Houston Houstonians… San Antonio Antonians… Toronto Informers… Vancouver Salmon… Winnipeg Pegboys… Los Angeles Fucksticks… Camden Dystopia
Fort Worth Folly… Shreveport Flood… Alaska Xanax… New Jersey Asbestos Dumpers… Scranton Schrutes… Des Moines Huffers… Las Vegas Vig… Fort Wayne Flight Risks… Key West Rough Riders… Fire Island Ferries… Columbus Claretts
Boise Ennui… Durham Spandex… Lubbock Homophobes… Albany Men’s Free Clinic… Hoboken Handjobs… Malibu Treehorns… Orlando Stokkes… Boston Relapse… Baton Rouge Uninsurables… Atlantic City Stinkpalm
There you go. Only three Katrina jokes: I think we showed considerable restraint. Your submissions in the comments, please.
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Where is Prince Williams wedding going to be held?
Hafner is brutal. They have to get him out of the middle of the order. I’d bench him and use him in pinch hitting role only. The guy is through.
Colorado Springs Prayer Warriors
Minneapolis WhatAboutUs’s
You may have seen this already. but this post (and KSK in general) made it into Ratto’s Friday column on CBS Sportsline: http://cbs.sportsline.com/columns/story/10206277
Whether you consider that a compliment or an insult, I defer to your exquisite tastes. Keep it up.
Just a few possibilties…
Cincinatti Chain Gang
Oklahoma Goat Blowers
Atlanta Bloody Bulldogs
@davewillie: Quad City Plegics?!?
Oh, God… I need a minute here… Oh, Jesus.
I know this thread is long dead, but for the record:
Vienna Sausages
San Antonio Banderas
Quad City Plegics
Babcock Suckers
Radisson (WI) Hotels
Eau Claire De Loons
DallASS Kissers
Louisville Labias
Battle Creek Golden Grahams
San Francisco Reach Arounds, or maybe San Francisco Gimps??? No, got it. The San Francisco Reach Around Gimps!
Mesa Dance (Mesa means table in Spanish)
Paris Rehab
Darfur Burgers
Dallas Assassins
Athens Grease
Australia Sting Rays
Chicago Cumslingers
I can’t believe I’m the first person to come up with that.
Regina Vaginas
Hey, dawg. It’s on, dawg. You dead, dawg. I ain’t even bulls——-. Your kids too, dawg. It don’t even matter to me who is in the car with you. N—–, all I know is, n—–, when you see me riding wit da Stinkpalm jersey, dawg, it’s on. As a matter of fact, I’m coming to your m—–f—— house.
I’m a bad man, but
Darfur Genocides
South African Apartheids
Intergalactic anyone?
Uranus United (a soccer team?)
Mars Volta
Orion Leafs
How about the Northern Virginia Pop-collared Douche bags???? aka Redskins fans
or how about The New Jersey Grease Monkeys?
Las Vegas “Callgirls”
Has no one done the Atlanta Pit Bulls yet?
The Texas Enines
The Michigan Thumbs
The Madison Elitists
The New Hope Nutsacks
The New England Updikes
The Milwaukee Dahmers
The Tampa Bukakke too obvious?
I want a Tahoe Goulets t-shirt.
San Diego Laborers
Los Angeles Capitalists of Anaheim, Orange, Riverside, Lancaster, and the greater Imperial Valley Area
Flint Worker Riots
New York Pilots
Optimus Primes
Fresno Yesses
Lake Tahoe Lounge Singers alt. Lake Tahoe Goulets
San Antonio Sickle cell
Cincinnati chicanery
Damned if they didn’t keep coming to me on the train ride home:
Hamburg Helpers
Wales Vaginas
Essex Offenders
San Diego Carmens
Ohio Speedwagons
This one’s for you, JoSCh:
Carolina Cunts
Why stop now It’s time to go worldwide, baby!?
Ottowa Nagohome
Niger Slaves
Perth Natchers
Bern Victims
Dublin Money
Lyon Bastards
Osaka Tooya
Seoul Man
Tunis Out
Calcutta Cheese
Baltimore LySafers
I’ll stop.
I’m way late to this party, but I’d like to extend a laurel and hearty handshake for the following:
Stockholm Syndrome
Warsaw Pacts
Sydney Lumets (I like that you avoided the more obvious Sydney Poitiers)
Hong Kong Phooeys
Well played, all. I humbly offer the following:
Kyoto Accords
Dresden Firebombers
Bratislava Reasonably Priced Handjobs
Milano Alyssas
Addis Ababa Dancing Queens
OK, one more:
Orlando Calrissians
Barcelona Rangeras
Deadwood Cocksuckers
Hollywood Youbelieves
I’m bad at this. Due to my damaged Missoula Oblongata. Peace.
Still like the Miami Rafters, but what the hell…
Bhopal Gas-Masks (going to hell)
Alaska Valdezes
Zionist Land Grabbers
Rio Thongs
Argentina TaTas
Kosovo Cleansers
Quohog Quotient
Seattle Syphilis (or is that our WNBA team????)
+1 grimey.
San Antonio Banderas
Banderases?
PS Go Barksdales! Beat the Pikesville Prop Joes!
The Staten Island Hair Gel
The Fort Wayne Bradys make the Green Bay Packers look like the Oakland Raiders.
@bloof: Blountstown Hippies
Calhoun County, representin’.
Cancun Threesomes
Meatspin is NSFW
Jason, don’t feel bad about being gator-raper-curious.
Everyone: it is safe for work
Kissimmee Meatspin
Philadelphia Blunts
@chief- why on earth would I click on a link that says “gator-rapers”? What the hell is wrong with me?
Fort Wayne Bradys
Mascot: Uncle Tom
Dammit all to hell! I’m always late for all the good shit!
Oh well.
Tampa Witcha
Yaphank Wank Yankers
Pepper Pike Peter Eaters
Blountstown Hippies
Wetumpka Snatch Odor
Orlando Gator-rapers
jackin’, at least three of those are off the board
Quad City DJs? WOW. HAHA.
Not reading through all the comments, but how about this for the 8 team league?
Harlem Apollos
Columbus (C-Bus) Stuntaz
Miami Rafters
Texas Border Patrol
Nebraska Corn-Fed Whiteys
Vermont Maples
Washington Bullets (bring it back)
Reno Roughriders
That should be a good start.
Havana Humpalots
Miami Sound Machine
Denver Omelets
and one for the WUFL:
Tampa X-Women (they’ll bloody ya!)
…and that’s a day. See you all next time I’m bored at work. ie. tomorrow.
the brentwood nirks (nicoles real killers)
the baltimore angelos is a flaming pice of shit, yes he deserves to die and i hope he burns in hell.
the guy in the “I Grok for Spock” t-shirt at ComiCon 2000.
Ladies, I’m still single…
Sioux City Skeets
*ahem* it’s Trekker.
Sadly, I knew I’d get that.
But you just outed yourself as the guy in the “I Grok for Spock” t-shirt at ComiCon 2000.
The Parts Unknown Ultimate Warriors
*ahem* it’s Trekker.
I’ve got nothing left. I’m out of here, see you tomorrow guys.
Nice. I’d like to see the Dublin Demnity play against my Istanbul Shitters.
I get nothing for the Luxembourg Collective? No Trekkies here?
San Fernando Pornstars
Flushing Fuckstains
following up on my insignificant life,
the Warren MI Zevons. Just a bunch of excitable boys.
The Hartford Whalers… bring the Whale home!
Islamic IEDs
The London Werewolves aka “Werewolves of London”
wormfather: Or, the Dublin Demnity?
(With a dry, cool wit like that I could be an action hero.)
Tokyo Happy Oblong Spheroid Concern
“We are disrespectful to our opponents. Can you not see that we are serious.”
@Fallex
Yeah, I’m trying to channel you, you’ve got the hot hand right now
Irish Car Bombs.