NFL Network host (and last decent SportsCenter anchor) Rich Eisen got into trouble recently when it was discovered that a reporter named Alycia Lane (With its endless variations, “Alicia” is officially the Antoine of white female names) sent him scantily clad photos of herself to an email account that Rich and his wife, Suzy Shuster, share together. Eisen apparently did not solicit these photos. It was just a matter of an attractive, feisty young woman trying to suck her way to the top.

Well, Alycia Lane, I think this week’s kill kill kill post can help show you the way. It’s a two-parter, featuring a bigass snake squeezing the life out of an alligator and then swallowing it whole, complete with creepy German voice-over!

This clip almost plays like a pornographic outtake from “Enemy Mine”. The camera is too tight in for my tastes. Things here can easily be confused for other things, and I don’t like drawing parallels when I’m watching some good death. Here, the snake finishes up.

Hoo boy! Take that, Kielbasa Queen! If you want to advance in today’s male-dominated sports media industry, you’re gonna have to learn how to not choke like Mr. Anaconda. Within a year, you’ll soon find yourself doing solemn interviews with Brady Quinn in the green room. Exciting stuff.