All over the NFL, teams are auditioning for new cheerleader squads, a tradition as American as eating disorders and breast implants. In few places is this done as well in Philadelphia, where the Eagles cheerleaders (A KSK favorite) must be selected from the hottest 0.65% of the American female population. Anything less and the girls would get batteries thrown at them.

Here are some photos from the Eagles cheerleaders tryouts, which is apparently some sort of beauty pageant. As well it should be.

Fitness Award-winner Jamie demonstrates the proper technique for walking.

Jessica Simpson? Nope, that’s Kjersti. She thinks John Mayer is a total pussy.

Raise your hand if Captain Caveman wants to lick your stomach.

Jennifer won the Overall Beauty Award. With those split ends? Pffft.

So there you go. That’s one more week closer to death, one less week until the 2007 NFL season starts. Thanks to our friends at the Professional Cheerleader Blog for the photos.