Officially and for the record, I want to thank the Ladies for being gracious winners. They’ve always been very kind to me, and I’m thankful that The Starter Wife used a G.I. Joe doll to represent me. It’s also likely that they put a lot of effort into the posts they wrote for today’s material, which is more than what KSK would have done for them. Kudos. You girls are some classy broads, and we are lazy assholes.

Now, with that necessary caveat out of the way:

Let’s be honest, folks. Today was fucking terrible. I mean, absolutely the worst day this site has ever seen — and I’m including the early days before Unsilent Majority had any comic timing. On a scale of one to ten, with one being the day that the Gawker guy ran Deadspin, and ten being any post by Big Daddy Drew, the Ladies — who no longer get an ellipsis in their name; that’s always really bothered me — were a solid negative three. I’ve watched Merchant-Ivory films that held my attention better.

As recompense, tomorrow — Thursday — will be one of our rare but glorious bukkake days. Our only previous bukkake days were for the start of the 2006 season and the day that T.O. overdosed, so we obviously save them for momentous occasions.

In this case, the momentous occasion is pushing the Ladies’ posts off of our front page. I had proposed deleting them altogether — keeping them in the archives wasn’t part of the deal, ha ha! — but, like I said, the Titsticks were real classy-like about beating us, so those posts will live on with a mere editor’s note warning people not to read them unless they’re having trouble getting to sleep.

In addition, this week’s mock draft — the REAL mock draft — will be written by an astonishingly talented and popular guest blogger who will become only the second person (after J.E. Skeets) to write a guest post for Kissing Suzy Kolber at our respectful invitation instead of, say, masculinity-baiting bets that force us into lose-lose situations.

Anyway, to cleanse the palate from today’s foo-foofery, here’s some eye candy:


Thanks for sticking with us through these rough waters. Check back frequently tomorrow, where we’ll be posting like voting in Chicago.

Oh, and I almost forgot: this whole thing would be for naught if you didn’t give a boost in traffic to the best female sports bloggers on the Internet.