KSK Service Announcement: Thursday Bukkake Will Rock Your Face Off
Officially and for the record, I want to thank the Ladies for being gracious winners. They’ve always been very kind to me, and I’m thankful that The Starter Wife used a G.I. Joe doll to represent me. It’s also likely that they put a lot of effort into the posts they wrote for today’s material, which is more than what KSK would have done for them. Kudos. You girls are some classy broads, and we are lazy assholes.
Now, with that necessary caveat out of the way:
Let’s be honest, folks. Today was fucking terrible. I mean, absolutely the worst day this site has ever seen — and I’m including the early days before Unsilent Majority had any comic timing. On a scale of one to ten, with one being the day that the Gawker guy ran Deadspin, and ten being any post by Big Daddy Drew, the Ladies — who no longer get an ellipsis in their name; that’s always really bothered me — were a solid negative three. I’ve watched Merchant-Ivory films that held my attention better.
As recompense, tomorrow — Thursday — will be one of our rare but glorious bukkake days. Our only previous bukkake days were for the start of the 2006 season and the day that T.O. overdosed, so we obviously save them for momentous occasions.
In this case, the momentous occasion is pushing the Ladies’ posts off of our front page. I had proposed deleting them altogether — keeping them in the archives wasn’t part of the deal, ha ha! — but, like I said, the Titsticks were real classy-like about beating us, so those posts will live on with a mere editor’s note warning people not to read them unless they’re having trouble getting to sleep.
In addition, this week’s mock draft — the REAL mock draft — will be written by an astonishingly talented and popular guest blogger who will become only the second person (after J.E. Skeets) to write a guest post for Kissing Suzy Kolber at our respectful invitation instead of, say, masculinity-baiting bets that force us into lose-lose situations.
Anyway, to cleanse the palate from today’s foo-foofery, here’s some eye candy:
Thanks for sticking with us through these rough waters. Check back frequently tomorrow, where we’ll be posting like voting in Chicago.
Oh, and I almost forgot: this whole thing would be for naught if you didn’t give a boost in traffic to the best female sports bloggers on the Internet.
Tags: captain caveman, cheap shots, I always hurt the ones I love, misogyny
April 11th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
Wow! There’s a blog out there even more trite and shallow than Ladies…! Whee!
April 11th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Uhm, yeah…who are you, again?
April 11th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
Not gonna lie…..that picture is pretty hot.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Ding Dong the Queens are dead..
April 11th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Hat’s off to the Ladies (no elipsis). Very well played. It was unbearable, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Even the eye candy is mediocre today. Talk about the day from hell, although that tea party was fucking hysterical
April 11th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
I’ve been sitting on this for hours, wondering who would actually appreciate it. I can’t believe I didn’t come here sooner.
Kung Fu porn. That’s right. Kung Fu porn.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:01 pm
Oh, and since the comment window won’t expand in order to accomodate the movie:
http://www.youporn.com/watch/265
Just trying to do my small part to wash the estrogen off the site.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Great Odin’s Beard! It is finally over, my hungover ass could not tolerate any more vaginally originated “humor”
eckikr indeed, word ver.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
CC, you’re back! Thank god - you wouldn’t believe what what was going on today - there was, well… The titties talked!
April 11th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
They actually have their own website where they do this every day?!?!?! REALLY?!?! This isn’t actually how they make their living is it? Tell me they actually have jobs that do not involve writing because now I just feel sorry for them.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
If you ever do this again, I will hunt you down, rip out your hearts, and feed them to you
That is all
April 11th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Whiny (so as not to say titty) babies! If it had been up to me, it would have been a day full of Bella Abzug pics, Adrienne Rich poetry, and the films of Meryl Streep.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:03 pm
You messed up the link, it’s supposed to point here:
http://fans.nhl.com/willa_ford/home/
April 11th, 2007 at 7:34 pm
so tommrow promise to get them off the main page, before i wake up. that could take awhile.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
“drdoom”, you’re being awfully cavalier for someone who was spamming our site for links to your blog last week.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
+1 holly
April 11th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Blogwhore 0, Whores 1.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:45 pm
uh uh….
runs away.
In all seriousness my bad with the spamming and seems like a bad time to ask but.
holly what does it take for you to trade the colts to me in the mock draft ( i actually have a blog…. if a blog exists and no one reads it does it exist?)
April 11th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
Um, fuck. I missed all the fun because of teaching in Milwaukee today. While I did read most of the Ladies posts, there is no fucking way I am going to scroll thru 300+ comments to insert my witty line. I’d just look like that the kid no one invites to the party but who shows up late anyways because someone felt sorrow for him.
With said: Pochacco and Keroppi are awesome, the only true fingernail color is ‘Fuck Me Red’, and The Token pick was the winner.
Moist.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:48 pm
So “Moist” is KSK-speak for “peace out” or “see ya later.”
April 11th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Hmmm. That is interesting. What could possess me to trade away my favorite team to a spammer? And what on earth made you think this might be a bad time to ask?
You realize this outs you as not even having read the blogs you’ve been begging at? I mean, I know all that linkwhoring takes time, but if you knew anything about me at all you’d know how I feel about the Colts.
Nothing fucking doing, friend.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Mamacita, I think “moist” is KSK’s version of Dee’s “affirmed.” Seems appropriate.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
ok my bad… I spammed you once and I apologized if you want you can spam my blog.. Not posting the link because i am not spamming.
Furthermore it was just a question and your no is accepted.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Out first mistake was giving them the vote. From 1919 on, it’s all been downhill.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
I was in work seminars all day today. I’ve spent the past hour catching up on things.
I’ll just say this… there’s a reason why Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood wasn’t three hours long.
I’m going to go pass out now.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
Yes, but Dave! The 20th amendment was really important!
April 11th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
lady andrea having just had a test on th 16th-19th amendments/ ww1. the 20th amendment is not important at all. It has to do with congressional terms and when the end, such as 12 noon on march 1 versus febuary 16 or somesuch thing.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
While there were only bits and pieces (uhh, huh-huh) of today’s posts that I enjoyed, I must admit that I forwarded links to some friends who generally find my KSK links outside of their humor zone.
/trying to pretend today was ok
Thank you in advance, Gay Mafia, for your efforts tomorrow.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
holly i decided to go back and look at your posts from today in order to ridicule. unfortunetly i found nothing well done.
except for the mastercard commercial which i thought you were kidding with the half naked guys.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
Thank you for the lesson, DrDoom. If you knew anything at all about our bet with KSK, you’d realize that one of the Mafia (who shall remain nameless) named his bracket “Lousy 20th Amendment.” Try to keep up, fella. : )
April 11th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Ouch. It’s like mommy just hit daddy.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
Hey, I included a smiley face. There is no real venom behind my words.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
But who’s going commando tomorrow like Andie? My guess. CC.
April 11th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
The boss, he’s got a thing for the Ya-Ya’s.
April 11th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
About the 20th Amendment thing:
[The scene: Captain Caveman fills out bracket half-heartedly]
CC (to FEMALE roommate): Hey, which amendment gave women the right to vote?
Female roommate: Ummm… the 20th.
Silly me, assuming a woman would know.
April 11th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Sure that’s how it happened. Whatever you say, CC.
April 11th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Was I supposed to read their post? The thing was longer than the Old Testament, and less organized than a Chinese traffic jam. Don’t make any more stupid bets, please.
April 11th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
my bad
I didn;t look at the brackets that carefully.
April 11th, 2007 at 10:50 pm
Gist of Caveman’s post: Nice try ladies, now go away and leave us to our cheerleaders and dick jokes.
But ladies, please do stop by more often. Sometimes we need to dish out the extra dose of misogyny.
April 12th, 2007 at 3:22 am
I want the last 15 minutes of my life back.
April 12th, 2007 at 3:58 am
Today was so gay I wrote a poem.
Jezebels flaunt
They know not of their folly
I make more money
April 12th, 2007 at 4:47 am
Someone said earlier half the guys will call the women cunts, and the other half will hit on you.
I am here to call you a bunch of cunts AND to hit on each and everyone of you. Especially the Ladies… yea, even the ladies.
Once Claire has been passed around the Yizner mafia, she will think twice when someone says “Cream or Clear?”
April 12th, 2007 at 9:30 am
Titsticks? Did that post really have the word titsticks in it?
April 12th, 2007 at 10:24 am
Once Claire has been passed around the Yizner mafia, she will think twice when someone says “Cream or Clear?”
Who’s “Claire”?
April 12th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Claire is for the drunken yinzers spell Clare w/out their first beer.
April 13th, 2007 at 6:15 am
Aww…thanks Matt. Had we taken over for a day we would have at least provided everyone with titties. Because we’re just benevolent like that.