It’s Your Turn To Draft And Be Sexy
04.27.07
We’ve done many a mock draft these past few weeks. But why should we, the KSK Gay Mafia, be the only ones who get to have all the fun? We’re gonna bypass the usual cheerleader post and present you with the first-ever KSK commenter mock draft. And you get the top mock draft of them all: Famous Women Or Men You Get For An Evening. The rules here are very simple. This is a celebrity you get for a night to do with as you please. Picks are first come first served. But only pick one person, and once you pick, you must wait 10 picks before making another selection. Once 10 other commenters have picked, you can then pick another person. And please, try and provide some linkage for the masses. Add a NSFW warning if appropriate.
Oh, and no picking Keeley Hazell. I took her first. Enjoy the draft everyone. And the NFL draft as well.
NOTE: One other rule: No time traveling. You pick someone in their current metaphysical state. No “Liz Taylor whe she was thin” bullshit.


29. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
30. I’ve been surfing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.
wow i must be right to bring so many of you idiots against me. Now if you would just team up against your economic issues and crime issues and that horrible murder rate like you guys team up against me on this message board maybe Brazil wouldn’t be such a septic tank as it is now(lol)
thanks ! i did…………
Really like this opinion. Maybe plus size clothing info may guide someone out there.
The Czech Republic is one of the most beautiful women in the world and be Miss Czech Republic is not anything
The Czech Republic is one of the most beautiful women in the world and be Miss Czech Republic is not anything
I have had problems opening this with my Iphone, whats the cause?
Hi. I love Adriana Lima. She’s really georgeous and a fine role model. She’s really sexy yet she didn’t choose to have premarital sex. Do you guys know where I can find Adriana Lima posters?
Noemie Lenoir….
Is it just me or did no one pick Megan Fox???
If not, she’s mine. And she’s all i need ;)
Late to the party too, and…. Biggest. Steal. Ever.
Denise Milani.
http://denisemilani.com/
http://www.myspace.com/denisemilani
I came to this WAyyyy to late…but here goes
1. Anna Rawson (pro golfer and former model)
2. Tori Praver of SI Swimsuit fame
3. Britney Snow (American Dreams, …Must Die)
4. Lily Alllen (because she likes it in the backdoor)
5. Ashley Simpson…post plastic but pre Pete Wentz
I pick two since I came to this late:
1. Olivia Munn
2. Jewel
And I am willing to make a trade.
I’m a week late and too lazy to to read, but rest assured, if jenna fischer was anywhere on the board, i’d take her in a heartbeat. I mean…you saw Blades of Glory right? My God.
1 more Angie Martinez. If you ride then train in NYC you’ve seen her new Hot 97 billboards. I am a sucker for a Puerto Rican with a New York accent.
I am bored at work and extremely late for this but here goes my raiding of the free agent market.
Jamie Presley
Kelly Ripa
Bai Ling
Mindy Kaling (Kelly from The Office)
Anchal Joseph (google her)
Rolleta Lynn (Gotham Girls Roller Derby Represent)
Mary Louise Parker
Marsha Thomason (from Las Vegas & Lost)
Maggie Grace
Gerri Halliwell
Candace Parker (gotta love the 6’4 chicks)
That chick that sat across the C train from me this morning
Teagan Pressely
Kimora Lee Simmons
TYRA BANKS
Carrie Westcott (Ms. September 1993)
Lisa Guerrero
Kathy Ireland
Kobe Tai
……. Ands I’m spent.
Somebody please tell me how I came in to this draft 5 days late and still came out with this line up.
For anyone interested, I finally posted my draft recap at the Laminated List Fantasy Draft. Enjoy it, kids.
Sorry it took so long. –TBB
Holy shit am I late for this. It’s like all thats left in Radio City Music Hall is the Soul Glo residue from Mel Kiper’s hair. In that case, let me take 2.
I interviewed her, I pick her.
Kayden Kross
and upcoming totally gorgeous Nafisa Teague.
I’m gonna let you look her up on your own. She’s 18, a model from Minnesota, half-Indian and 100% gorgeous.
how did someone pick katie price before picking posh spice? thats a lil like the chargers taking craig davis before choosing dwayne jarrett
since im late to the party, ill build on free agents…
Victoria Beckham
Rashida Jones (Karen on The Office)
Alicia Keys (anyone else see her in the hooker outfit in Smokin Aces?)
I’ll give props where they are due, although my starting 5 and ridiculously deep bench are impressive.
@ jackin4beats – aisha tyler is adorable.
@ mdz – i watched sportsnight just for sabrina lloyd.
@ killbillwirtz – total steal on ms. dowding, and you own a little peice of my heart because of your name.
@ donald – maura tierney is a doll, but unfortunately for you, ms. gershon signed a lengthy contract with the dick gozinia traveling all-stars several hours ago.
@ miamidiesel – i like the nadine velasquez pickup, but can’t get behind your fergie signing.
@ andrew – the alizee pick is very underrated and mary elizabeth winstead is some seriously up-and-coming heat. good show indeed.
Oh well, at least I still got the hottest asians (Lucy Liu and Liz Cho).
Okay, to recap my draft and final roster (in no particular order), hopefully with the successful use of hyperlinking (NSFW)…
Aishwariya Rai (for some reason that thing around her neck just puts my dick on swole
Kelly Brook
Caterina Murino (Bond girl from Casino Royale)
Maria Menounos
Alina Vacariu
Beyonce
Lena Headey
Yamila Diaz-Rahi
Marisa Tomei
Angie Cepeda
Mariah Carey
Jennifer Lopez
Josie Maran
Rachel Specter
Lucy Pinder
Sunny Leone
Mary Castro
Jill Wagner
Lara Dutta
Tanith Belbin
Brande Roderick
Ali Landry
Jennifer Lamiraqui
Leann Tweeden
Victoria Silvstedt
Daniela Cicarelli
Stacy Ferguson
Jaymee Ong
Rachel Sterling
Nadine Velazquez
Stacy Sanches
Priscilla Meirelles
Rafaela Zanella
Almudena Fernandez
Amanda Beard
Roselyn Sanchez
Rebecca Romijn
Jordana Brewster
Mayte Garcia
Abi Titmus
Chasey Lain
Sharon Stone
Jamie Luner
Madonna
Hot Females on Univision’s Gata Salvaje
Abby McGrew (all the way on the left — sadly, Eli Manning’s fiancee)
there you go, my roster at the end of this weekend long ‘selection meeting’. definitely a deep and talented team with something for every taste. i’m not even gonna bother to try to rank my top 5; the competitive “juices” that might have inspired that have long since left me (though aishwariya would definitely be my personal #1), and besides, the way i look at it, this whole thing was just a celebration of beautiful women and spank material. it’s clear that i need to work on my east asia scouting, but i am thankful for learning about nikki cash and jarah mariano via this draft. also, kudos to the late daisy fuentes and silvia irabien picks, those two definitely slipped through the cracks. so enjoy; i’m looking forward to brooklyn boy’s review of these festivities…
A few from the free agent stack:
Angie Harmon
Sabrina Lloyd
Sonya Walger
Mia Kirshner
and she may have lost her fastball, but you’d think Jennifer Aniston would still merit a selection.
Dry Canada-
You want a corpse?
Because in that case I’ll sign Grace Kelly. Her corpse is 20 years younger and Grace was IMO a better looking broad than Monroe, but make no mistake, if I were alive in the 50′s they’d be my 1-2 punch easily.
marilyn monroe…(i hope no one picked her already)
and I don’t even want any more picks after picking her up in the baggillionth round. Foxiest women ever.
Leilani Dowding :
NSFW
Late Sunday Free Agent Signing Bulletin:
Maura Tierney has signed a multi-year deal with Donald, who has also picked up free agents Beyonce Knowles, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Denise Richards, Gina Gershon, Demi Moore and Sigourney Weaver. And for pornstar nastiness, Belladonna.
Brittany Daniel.
Aisha Tyler.
Need someone in the trenches. The girls from the Mexican TV show Secretos
Oh! Oh oh! Monica Keena.
very late entry: parker posey.
Elisabeth Shue — I did a search and she didn’t come up. An absolute steal in my opinion, as I’ve been in love w/ her since Adventures in Babysitting. (Shut-up, I was 9)
also, Julie Banderas of Fox News
I’m ignoring the free agency crap, I get Kreuk :)
your mom.
Oh wait:
11- Elisabeth Rohm is still HOTTT!!! My Law & Order flava is secure.
Sweet baby Jesus wrapped in swaddling cloths.
450 picks and a draft that goes through the night? You men (and women) are totally insane. I love it.
@the brooklyn boy
Sallie Richardson was a freakin’ steal. Nuff respect.
@dick_gozinia
Liz Cho is outstanding. I should slap myself twice for not thinking about her; she’s an anchor on the Ch. 7 news @ 11pm in NY. Well played.
@miamidiesel
I learned how to create hyperlinks by right clicking on this site and selecting View Source. It shows you the HTML code you need.
OK, on to the value picks. I only need 3 more for an even 10…
8- Nikki Cash for my Asian flava
9- Ki-Toy Johnson from the OutKast video “The Way You Move.” You want tits and ass? I’LL GIVE YOU TITS AND ASS!!!
10- Silvia Irabien for some creamy Mexican flava.
So to finally recap:
1- Shilpa Shetty
2- Sade
3- Vanessa Minnillo
4- Ciara
5- Aisha Tyler
6- Angie Everhardt
7- Mya
8- Nikki Cash
9- Ki-Toy Johnson
10- Silvia Irabien
At this point in time I’ll take the following:
Cobie Smulders
Elizabeth Mitchell
Monica Potter
Heather Kozar
Meg White
I take Lady Andrea. Likes sports, not afraid to play in the mud, and appreciates a beautiful woman for definite 3 way potential. Now there’s a draft pick with unlimited upside!
HA! I’m all the way on the other side of the world, and I’m picking on Day 2, when no one else is even caring about this…
and I get to pick Drew Barrymore, the love of my life since ET. Granted, she dimmed a little with the marrying of Tom Someone-Needs-To-Castrate-Me Green; but she still can work it for me.
andrew: true, i shouldn’t overlook the fact she’s in the new Spiderman movie, which is definitely some extra credit.
is it just me, or does suzy kolber look even more bangin than usual at the draft today? i’m living for her draftee interviews right now, and seriously jealous i didn’t pick her up in our draft… damn that joe namath…
My final roster shakes out like this:
#1 Lucy Liu
#2 Paulina Rubio
#3 Rachael Leigh Cook
#4 Jordan Ladd
#5 Elle Mcpherson
#6 Christy Turlington
#7 Mariska Hargitay
#8 Diane Neal
#9 Emily Mortimer
#10 Rachel True
#11 Melissa Auf Der Maur
#12 Julia-Louis Dreyfus
#13 Bonnie Bernstein
#14 Katie Daryl
#15 Liz Cho
#16 Lisa Loeb
#17 Gina Gershon
#18 Courtney Cox
#19 Paget Brewster
#20 Rebecca Grant
#21 Traci Bingham
#22 Drea de Matteo
#23 Shannon Doherty
#24 Andrea Corr
#25 Natalie Imbruglia
Still ruling this portion of the draft.
Miami: Bryce Dallas Howard? It would be the Ted Ginn of the draft if it wasn’t so late.
I got blinded by my comic book homerism. And she’s only a practice squad pick anyway, it’s not like I was passing up a need.
(Unlike a team drafting a defensive tackle with Greg Olsen and Robert Meacham on the board.)
I hope she wasn’t the T&A of that show, she was 13 and played a tomboy. I stand by my pick and will need no other picks, ever.
http://a675.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/30/l_eec24d593b47c0797e10ef008c7090ba.jpg
tracer bullet – great pick on jarah mariano, i’m legitimately disappointed in myself for not getting to her first… though at least i still have jennifer lamiraqui
twoeightnine – i’ll see your christine lakin with an angela watson and raise you suzanne sommers, who we both know was the real t&a on that show… yea i said it, come get it back
alright time for a serious pick… since i’m missing a busty swede on my team, i’m picking former playmate of the year victoria silvstedt… per the imdb scouting report, she is “Just shy of six feet tall with crystal blue eyes and flaxen blonde hair”, and posted a 35 and a 1/2 inch chest at the combine… now THAT is a value pick my friends
Dammit. I guess the Devil will be using Drew’s soul as asswipe for the foreseeable future.
I’ll take Jarah Mariano, an Asian-American supermodel . I need more Asians.
damn, looks like BDD dodged a bullet there…
so if quinn winds up on miami (and *cough* south beach), wouldn’t it all but guarantee he would be the new sex cannon? i mean quinn would be plowing men, but still, with the pace he would set, rexy could never keep up
andrew – you call a T&A race, then pick up bryce dallas howard? really? piper perabo though, that one cut close to home
more importantly, we’re at a point in the nfl draft where brady quinn might end up on the vikings… it’s kind of cold-hearted, but fuck, i’d love to see the inevitable BDD meltdown that would follow something like that
I don’t draft until the 400′s and I still get Christine Lakin?
Suck it, STEAL OF THE DRAFT.
Hey, Drew. Quinn is still available and the Vikings are on the clock. Mu-hoo-ha-ha-haaa.
Oh, and I’m picking up Laila Ali. Every team needs an intimidator.
Adding Nicole Kidman.
Um… ladies (and gents, even) I am disappointed. I take the one and only Sex Cannon, Rex Grossman.
My team has currently only one player… but COME ON !
I knew Brady Quinn’s draft status was falling, but not this far! http://boifromtroy.com/wp-content/Brady_Quinn.jpg
And I’m not even gay.
OK…after a hard night of drinking, I’m back for day 2 of the draft. This is where you get value picks. And since we’re already in free-agency (fuck you guys that started that, by the way) I’m going to throw out my late-round flyers.
My final roster shakes out like this:
#1 Lucy Liu
#2 Paulina Rubio
#3 Rachael Leigh Cook
#4 Jordan Ladd
#5 Elle Mcpherson (she’s “the body” people…how is she still available?)
#6 Christy Turlington
#7 Mariska Hargitay
#8 Diane Neal (this completes my law & order threesome…giggity)
#9 Emily Mortimer (always had a huge crush…she’s adorable)
#10 Rachel True (almost went with Stacey Dash or Traci Bingham here, but I’m all over Rachel)
#11 Melissa Auf Der Maur (redhead + bass player = i’m in love)
#12 Julia-Louis Dreyfus
#13 Bonnie Bernstein (after sex you could discuss how big of a tool Jeremy Shockey is…)
#14 Katie Daryl (google her)
#15 Liz Cho (i used to stay up late and watch her anchor “world news now”)
I grabbed all of these around #450…that’s some serious value. My list looks nice, although I’m still mad about Pampita, Jill Hennessy (my dream law & order 4-some damnit), and liz phair. They were all on my board. Either way, I’ve completely owned this draft.
MiamiDiesel: Okay, you want a T&A Race, you got one
9 More free agents.
Erika Christensen
Devon Aoki
Nikki Reed
Bryce Dallas Howard
Piper Perabo
Amber Tamblyn
Liz Vassey
Morgan Webb (I’ll see your manjaw…)
Erica Durance
one other thing — if somebody could enlighten my dumbass as to how to hyperlink on a name (so that, for example, you could click on ‘abby mcgrew’ and see the picture i tried pasting the link for), it’d be much appreciated. for those of you who don’t know who jennifer lamiraqui, i can’t emphasize strongly enough how you need to do a google image search on her ASAP — laetitia casta ain’t got shit on her
ok, so i woke up at fuckin 5:30am so i could hit the gym and then get some studying for finals done before the start of the nfl draft… no one (even BDD) is as hardcore as i…
william – i can’t believe cameron diaz was still on the board that late. i’m at a loss for words…
brooklyn boy – if we actually end up doing a mariah-shakira trade, it will be contingent on shakira passing a full body physical. i’ll waive the physical if you’re willing to do j-lo for shakira straight up instead though. although it probably won’t matter — no one will ever get as deep as me… just wait till beyonce testifies after i reach depths that gay-z can’t even dream of…
as for some early morning pickups that seem to have cleared waivers overnight, i’m picking abby mcgrew (eli manning’s fiancee… if somebody can take kerry wood’s g/f, i can take eli’s, that motherfucker owes me anyways since i’m a giants fan, and he’s gonna pay what he owes — http://www.alumni.olemiss.edu/photos/NYC%20-%20new/NYC%20-%20new-Pages/Image4.html — that’s her all the way on the left), jennifer lamiraqui (http://www.beyondhollywood.com/gallery/random-supermodel-of-the-day-jennifer-lamiraqui/), leann tweeden, nadine velazquez, stacy sanches, abi titmus, roselyn sanchez, stacy ferguson, and rebecca romijn (how is she still available?)… as far as roster transactions go, i’m gonna demote rachel sterling, rafaela zanella, priscilla meirelles, and mayte garcia to the practice squad, and promote tanith belbin, leann tweeden, nadine velazquez, and jennifer lamiraqui to the active roster (the rest of my morning pickups report to the practice squad)… fuck, my practice squad could run shit against some people’s starters… let’s keep this thing going strong throughout nfl draft weekend….
I won’t be one of those guys who shows up really late and takes five picks.
I’ll only take two.
Uma Thurman and Jenifer Connelly.
Hmmm, I really wanted Emilie De Ravin, but I’m gonna have to settle for Yunjin Kim.
http://www.fasthack.com/images/weblog/2006/09/yunjinkim-arena.jpg
I’ll just take 2:
Gabrielle Reese
Katherine Heigl
Cameron Diaz… I apologize to someone else if this was already picked, but I did a search and it didn’t find anything for Cameron or Diaz… That being said, I can’t believe she made is past 400 picks or so… If she really did, shame on all of you, and if you’re listening Cameron, I promise to treat you right.
Creepy? Yeap
Dammit, if I can’t get Jenna Van Oy, how about Sallie Richardson. That there is smooth milk chocolate. I’ll also take Nigella Lawson (she can cook and she has ass for months) and Stacie Murray from the show “Hu$tle.” I likes the Britons.
I need a redhead and an Asian. I’ll take Shirley Manson from the band garbage (who’s on record as being an afficianado of golden showers) and Denyce Lawton. Black and South Korean? Hellz yeah.
http://www.beyondhollywood.com/asiancelebs/?p=199
And, for a little more international flava, Shenaz.
Fuck, I can’t believe somebody beat me to Jenna Van Oy.
How could I forget Djimon Hounsou http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005023/
Fuckin’ work. If it wasn’t for that, Gerard Butler would be mine, all mine… goddammit. And Ryan Reynolds (no shirt, oh yeah) and Wentworth Miller too (also sans shirt). I don’t know shit about the draft, but I got here late and read almost every comment, so I’m gonna list all at once (at least I’m not going back in time, like some people):
Gary Dourdan http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0235427/
Matthew Fox http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0289142/
Chow Yun Fat http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000334/
Sendhil Ramamurthy (the Indian hottie on Heroes) http://www.imdb.com/name/nm070798
And if I was gonna go lez, well, damn, it’s hard to beat Kate Beckinsale, and you know what, Jennifer Tilly, too.
Claudia Cardinale, the chick in Once Upon a Time in the West (circa 1968). Tell me you wouldn’t want to grab those titties!
Due to the massive amount of excitement (and traffic to my blog) this added to a work-addled Friday, I actually checked this after coming back from my night out.
jh – Casta that late was money. Very solid choice, though the Model category is deep enough that everyone usually ends up with their favorite, unless other people are out to screw you.
miamidiesel – Beyonce ahead of Shakira, eh? Interesting … I like the crazy chicks, so Mariah might make a solid substitute. … Or I might bang out Shakira first, and then trade her rights. That’s like trading a guy the other owner doesn’t know is on the DL. Haha.
Also, your late Belbin/Beard picks locked up the remaining Athletes. Well done.
jackin4beats – VERY SOLID choice with mya some 350+ picks deep. She led off my “Quick Hits” column the other day – and she’s dual-eligible as a Model.
Miami: Well as you could see by the fifth round pick “job hot” was a skill that added draftability to certain people that would have otherwise gone undrafted.
And as for Willa Ford? I have to give all my credit to my C-List scouting team.
And if we’re getting practice squads…consider Gemma Atkinson, Brittany Murphy, and Ashley Tisdale signed.
(The 2006 Draft was barren to the cupboard.)
I’ve actually been productive for a couple of hours now, so figured I’d check in again:
andrew – great pick on willa ford. and i really shouldn’t have slept on dana perino… fuck, why didn’t i watch c-span today?
queefer – goddamn the yankees blow. pains me to say it, but mariano is probably washed up, and i’m glad cashman didn’t give him an extension over the winter. as it is, he blew the world series in 2001 and two of the last four alcs games in 2004 when boston came back, but now he can’t even be good in the regular season. plus miami (my surrogate nba team with the knicks destined to suck as long as dolan is around) got its ass handed to it again to go down 0-3 to the douchebag bulls. just a fucking sterling night in sports for me. oh well, at least the warriors are taking it to dallas….
as for the draft, how did we go 420 posts without anyone picking sharon stone, tanith belbin, or amanda beard? i immediately sign all of them to the veteran’s minimum and assign them to the practice squad, though at the very least belbin will probably be on the gameday roster…
Fuck. Best post idea ever and I missed the whole damn thing. There’s no way I’m gonna go back and read 419 posts to figure out what the hell is going on. Damn you people.
My first three picks were taken in the first 5 posts anyways, but still. Damn you.
Queef: Oopsie.
So, how about Vanessa Hudgens? Still on the board?
High School Musical Style!
Andrew-
I signed Kim Smith and sorry, I didn’t release her. I have her ass, er rights. I mean ass… and tits.
And Rihanna and Willa Ford make 31…
I embarrasingly drafted, but rocked the party in Free Agency.
THE LAST FINAL WE’RE SERIOUS FREE AGENTB PICK-UP LIST!
April Scott
Avril Lavigne
Holly Valance
Kim Smith
Michelle Branch
Sarah Michelle Gellar
French Popstar Alizee
Karima Adebe
Rihanna
Willa Ford
Final Rosier
1) Eva Mendes
2) Anne Hathaway (From queefer thru Miamidiesel)
3) Angelina Jolie
4) Sophia Bush
5) Torey Castellano (Job hot reach)
6) Charlize Theron
7) Layla Kayleigh
8) Nora Zehetner
9) Vida Guerra
10) Joanna Krupa
11) Kelli Garner
12) Paula Garces
13) Christina Millian
14) Mary Elizabeth Winstead
15) Shelley Martinez (ECW’s Ariel)
Undrafted Free Agents: Shana Hiatt, Brandi Hawbaker, Chantel McNulty, Dana Perino, Torrie Wilson, Jennifer Ellison, April Scott, Avril Lavigne, Holly Valance, Kim Smith, Michelle Branch, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Alizee, and Karima Adebe.
29 Picks. All Sexy. The greatest leap year ever. Ever.
@tracer bullet
Jenna Von Oy was taken about 9 hours ago. Sorry.
Wow you people are freakin’ insane. 413 comments and still counting. God bless you all.
@miamidiesel
31 picks. Damn, you’ve got a lot of free time on your hands this Friday. It’s Miller Time, go get shit faced.
I’ll take Mya
http://king-mag.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/mysainside1.jpg
She reminds me of this Welsh girl I used to go out with. Smokiiiiiin’. Feel the sizzle.
Since I’m late to the party, damn those fuckers who expect me to actually “work” during the day, I’m gonna have to go with a sleeper pick: Jenna Van Oy. Why? Some women, you can put a drink on her ass. Jenna Van Oy? You can put a whole bar on her ass.