Animal Death Porn: Drew Rosenhaus and Scott Boras Get Their Comeuppance
There are four inherent truths to this video:
1. It desperately needs to be at least four times longer.
2. Everything becomes 40% cooler when it’s set to the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage.”
3. Hyenas are fucking assholes.
4. Male lions always get a bad rap. “Oh, the lionesses do all the hunting and killing; the males have little purpose besides roaring and insemination.” Oh yeah? Well, it seems to me that the pride would have a big fuckin’ hyena problem if Mufasa didn’t pull the occasional deus ex machina. RAWR! Run away from this, shithead. Oh wait, you can’t — I’ve snapped your hind leg with my jaws of death. FACE.
Tags: Badasses, captain caveman, kill kill kill, respect the lion
April 26th, 2007 at 9:20 am
kick.fucking.ass.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:20 am
not shown: Don King circling the carcass overhead
April 26th, 2007 at 9:31 am
another inherent truth: everything is at least 25% cooler when shot in slow motion.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:33 am
I wish I could get video stream at work.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:35 am
I just got mildly aroused.
Check that.
Incredibly!
April 26th, 2007 at 9:45 am
wow, all thank you for that video.
April 26th, 2007 at 9:49 am
Hakuna matata.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:01 am
drew, nice work. that is even more bad ass than the killer whales playing catch with the seal. Whenever I need pumping up, I am watching that video.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:09 am
80% cooler with “Smack My Bitch Up”
I concur – extremely good use of the “kill, kill, kill” tag.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:09 am
golgi, CC handled the kill kill kill duties this week. I’m too busy this week writing angry letters to the makers of Cottonelle for changing the thickness of their bathroom tissue.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Fucking Sweet. It would have been better if Mufasa would have grabbed that puppy hyena at the 1:05 mark and tossed him in the air, orca style, on the way to his kill.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:24 am
Now that was awesome.
Credit the lionesses. They tried admirably to defend the carcass. But when the real heavy hitting needed to happen, they called in the big boy, a ruthless killing machine.
I also concur 100% on the excellent choices for the soundtrack of that video. Well done.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:29 am
personal foul on Mufasa for horsecollaring that hyena.
Sweet jesus, he took that thing down with a damn claw.
Damn fine use of Sabotage.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:36 am
Those Cottonelle motherfuckers
April 26th, 2007 at 10:49 am
That was a motha fucking theatrical master piece. Note the musical undertone of goinr from “sabatage” to “smack my bitch up”.
That lion fucking owned.
On the other side…did the lionesses go back in the morning and as a group just start bitching at mufasa? “you need to do something about this shit instead of just sitting on your fat ass!”
“…fine, I’ll fucking go ::mubles under breath:: bitches”
I’m just saying, because there seemed to be some fustration in that kill.
Other than that, awesome job.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Everyone who works around me thinks I’m insane now. And I don’t care– that was f’ing awesome.
Btw, are we getting a final KSK draft before the actual one? I was hoping for: sexual positions; drugs; beer/drinks; and/or, coaches whose job you’d like.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:52 am
How do you wait for the badass part of the song to come and just end that shit?!?!?! That pisses me off.
I’m pretty sure M. Night Shamawad was involved.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:57 am
wow
lion – 1
Hyenas – 0
April 26th, 2007 at 11:18 am
im with sean please do sexual positions. i don;t tink u can do a better mock draft than that
April 26th, 2007 at 11:20 am
Hyenas are fucking ass holes
they are the Drew Rosenhaus of the wild
April 26th, 2007 at 11:29 am
Sexual positions would have the most NSF work images ever. That being said, I take reverse cowgirl with a blunt in my mouth. Watching the Colts rape the Pats. Figuratively not literally. McSheisty dont get down like that.
April 26th, 2007 at 11:44 am
I always have to wait until I get home to see these videos. God I hate these technology Nazis over here. More comments to follow tonight.
But from watching Planet Earth, it’s easy to see how Hyenas are just assholes that need to catch a beat down every now and then to keep them honest.
April 26th, 2007 at 11:54 am
That reminded me of the amphitheater grass at your generic Van Halen concert circa 1987.
April 26th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Amen on point 4. Give it up for the King of the Jungle.
April 26th, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Holy fuck balls. That video may have just changed my life.
April 26th, 2007 at 1:37 pm
I kinda figured that lions (Detroit) were used to seeing hyenas (defenses) stealing (mutilating) their meal (QB).
April 26th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
I mean, the lion just bites the first hyena in the head!
“you want to try to bite me back? it’ll be hard with my tooth in your eye.”
April 26th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
Like Old Dirty said, I’ll fuck yo ass up.
Mufasa needs to keep that pimp hand strong – I hope he straightened those bitches out proper.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Now this is what I’m fuckin’ talking about
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHDeNjwntKM
Kill that bitch mufasa.
April 27th, 2007 at 12:55 am
Nature’s assholes indeed…
http://youtube.com/watch?v=N2Bg4gIwKCA
April 27th, 2007 at 3:31 pm
I can’t find a youtube clip, but it should be known that the “Jungles” episode of Planet Earth features footage of a clan of 100+ chimpanzees bum-rushing another group of chimps to seize their territory, killing a baby, and cannibalizing it just for shits and giggles.
Score.
February 1st, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Hello. And Bye. :)