Just shut up about students storming the court already, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People.

We get it, you don’t like it when fans storm the court or field after what you would not consider a “big win.” I heard one of you on the radio today refer to it as “disgusting,” which is a shameful overstatement, but I’ll get back to that. You guys pull shit like this all the time whenever you see fans doing something you don’t like, just like when people are booing your favorite athletes, like your favorite White Person, Derek Jeter:

Derek Jeter’s getting booed! Nobody should be booing my Derek! He’s earned the right to play at a mediocre level without reprisal from the populace! Whaaaaaaah!

You don’t fucking get it, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People. We’ll boo whomever the fuck we want. And we don’t require a blessing from the national media to do so. It’s not like you assholes are paying to get into these games.

Same rules apply with storming the field or court. It’s not like students are storming the court after they lose. When your team wins an important conference game at home, you might as well get out there, because who knows when you’ll win another one. If the practice allows a few on-campus couches to live another hour or so, how is that a bad thing?

Storming the court is special, sure, but its scope isn’t limited to the world of sports. It’s part of the college experience. Remember when you went to college, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People?

So, Old, White (and occasionally Jewish) People, maybe your time would be better spent by going back to traditional “sports talk,” that is, your cryptic whining about how much you hate it that there are 25-year-old black kids out there making more money than you. That’s where you Old, White People seem to excel. Dipshits.