Well it’s officially the off-season and since I didn’t watch the Pro Bowl I got a chance to watch a fair amount of ESPN’s college basketball bukkake (I still can’t believe they called it that). Here are some of the day’s results along with my thoughts. If you hate college basketball (or me) you might want to just scroll down, feel free to check out the archives. Last season’s team previews are quite entertaining.

Those kids sure love their gangs.


West Virginia 70 – 65 UCLA

In the monster upset of the day the mountain dwellers get their fleeting revenge on the evil Hollywood Jews ruining the country. Morons…Jordan Farmar plays for the Lakers now.

(6)Pitt 74 – 68 Providence Friars sponsored by Dunkin’ Donuts

Aaron Gray had another dominant performance, some late lottery team is gonna be awful disappointed this time next year. Then again I’ve been doubting the big non-jumping whitey for years. I thought he’d be a fucking disaster when I read about his recruitment on my laptop during some a for some class I barely passed. I kinda miss that place-except–or not (Merton Hanks didn’t even play for the Steelers).

Wright State 77 – 64 Butler

A thrilling display of why Butler probably shouldn’t be in the top ten.

Shrooms 2 – 0 Gonzaga

That’s gotta hurt. Gonzaga just lost arguably their best player Josh Heytvelt (and some redshirt) indefinitely after they got busted with pot and shrooms in the car. If I were a college student in Spokane I’d probably be shrooming. Hell I did it in Pittsburgh…in the front row of the opening game of Peterson Events Center. That was an interesting experience–I was not counting on the lasers.

(13)Air force 60 – 51 New Mexico

Air Force was dropping bombs all over New Mexico. In other news, there was a basketball game.

(23)Georgetown 76 – 58 (12)Marquette

Georgetown wins thus ensuring even higher levels of public drunkenness at the pizza place around the corner.

And a big thanks has to go out to ESPN for actually filming ONE of today’s games in HD. Too bad it’s the Florida/Kentucky showdown that’s going on currently. It’s a great game but the HD broadcast is being thoroughly ruined by the assholes in Kentucky wearing all white; the glare is really getting to me. This further proves the theory that Kentucky fans are pigfuckers; Punter has video of Ashley Judd fucking Babe.

Good luck enjoying your first Sunday of the off-season, feel free to let us now exactly how gay you find college basketball in the comments (I told you not to stop reading!).